A number of talks entitled "Dressing for Dignity" have sprung up around the country as parents try to reign in the the sleek, low cut, sexy dressing standards created by our fashion industries. Even news anchors are often seen exposing way more skin and cleavage than previous generations allowed - a sign of the times. These styles have even crept into the designer clothing for younger and younger girls. Some parents wonder what all the fuss is about - others are very concerned when they think their teen is over-exposed. Our costuming is just one more area where the culture is dividing - and sharply.
I would like to capture a short "sermon" I recently heard - it should help drive home the most important reason for modesty. Modesty of dress, mannerism, behaviors, speech, and thought is included in this discussion.
God created man and woman to be different from each other in a very complementary way! A very easily understood example of this obvious complementarity is loving, marital relations. however, original sin caused sexual tension! Today, the sexual, emotional, psychological differences between the two sexes are most often portrayed in a negative way (Men are from Mars and Women from Venus) rather than highlighted as the manner in which men and women are attracted to each other, bond, and love each other. Few of us are interested in talking to ourselves each day - rather different personalities, thought processes are interesting, engaging, and worthy of debate.
The Fall of Adam and Eve were the original reason why tension exists between and among the sexes. The original design of man as protector, defender, explorer, and lover can easily erode to predator, attacker, user, and dominator. The orginal design of woman as nurturer, protector, queen and lover virtues are also easily eroded to opposing vices.
When man leans toward vice, it is the modest woman who helps pull him back toward virtuous living. If she has begun to lean toward vice, she will join him in surrendering to the flesh rather than the spiritual. When a woman respects herself, she does not give in to the siren call that suggests she allow herself to be used by a predatorial male.
Some women suggest that she should be able to dress anyway that she wants - if a man has a problem with cleavage that 's his problem! These women are assenting to disrespect and being used because that's what the predatory male does regardless of her feelings! Furthermore, she may even be using herself as a weapon against male weaknesses - to her advantage.
We are never to use each other or ourselves - we are to act as if we are (and we are) made in the image and likeness of the Creator. He is a lover not a user! And this is the reason we are to instruct our daughters in modesty - so they are respected and treated with dignity by all males.
A good litmus test of modesty is this. As a girl enters the room- what is the first thing the male looks at? If it's her face- that is a good sign regarding her dress. If he notices a body part first- other than her face - then she is inviting, inciting, and encouraging lust, disrespect, and being used. Most young girls do not understand that males are more visual than females - girls are more emotional and intuitive than males. This doesn't make one better than the other- it just makes them different. We are not to use the differences to divide, disrespect or coerece; rather we are to understand the differences so we can help each other get to the final destination- Heaven.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Stained Glass Windows
Have you ever looked at the stained glass windows of a Church from the outside? They look rather ugly and uninteresting; some may wonder what the windows depict but most go about their way without considering the windows in much detail simply because there isn't much detail to be seen! From the outside vantage point, the stained glass windows look dark and imposing and even ugly!
Now, regard the stained glass windows as pre-figuring the Church itself. When having an outside vantage point, people fail to see the beauty within the Church. In fact, the Church may appear overly imposing, dark, unfriendly, cold, uncaring, certainly out of step with the outside world's point of view. The windows certainly don't look very special from the outside perspective! The Church opens its wide "portal" doors in hopes of attracting those who get a glimmer of its beauty (from the stained glass windows -figuratively and literally). It attracts the curious, the interested, and the open.
When someone steps inside the Church - both figuratively and literally - he or she sees the beauty of the stained glass windows for the very first time - the light streams through them re-creating them. The windows look incredibly different from the inside than they did from the outside. While light may surround the outside of the windows, it fails to expose the true beauty of the windows. A person with new faith will see a newness and a new-found beauty; they begin to appreciate the depth of the light within the Church. One never fully appreciates the Church's beauty when remaining on the outside looking in; it's only from the inside can we wonder in awe at God's truth and creation.
Until we have the opportunity to see the stained glass from the inside - where the light is allowed to re-create the windows - where the light underscores the imagery and reality of the Church, we fail to see and seek truth. When we remain on the outside, we will only see the "window's" flaws, the cracks or chinks in the windows, the need for tuckpointing, it's broken panes. But when inside the Church, we see things never before possible; we see depth, beauty, variety of colors (gifts), importance, significance, intensity, and necessity. It's from the inside that we can be awed by the stained glass; it's only from the inside that we can fall in love with the stained glass imagery and vibrancy. (sacraments, grace, moral and spiritual teachings, liturgical life, formation). We are all invited in to stay and experience the beauty and richness of the Stained Glass (the Church).
Think of this reflection the next time you go to Mass; study your Church's stained glass windows, regard them as God's invite to you to deepen your relationship with Him. He wants us all to grow in our faith, to renew ourselves, to unite ourselves to the Church. We are asked to draw in others as well. May we all be refined, renewed, re-stored to the Will of God.
Much of this reflection came from a homily I heard this past weekend; I thought you all may enjoy it as much as I did - just wanted to share it with you.
Check out my new release entitled: A Book For All Seasons. This book features beautiful, stained glass pictures which divide the various Liturgical Seasons of the Church Year. The readings and Gospels for each Sunday are given along with reflection questions, space to take homily notes so we can recall them later with family discussions. Finally, space is provided to reflect on the readings and the homily and write spitirual goals for the upcoming week. Check out http://www.fortifyingfamiliesoffaith.com/ for more information. This will make a great gift for yourself and your family and friends.
Now, regard the stained glass windows as pre-figuring the Church itself. When having an outside vantage point, people fail to see the beauty within the Church. In fact, the Church may appear overly imposing, dark, unfriendly, cold, uncaring, certainly out of step with the outside world's point of view. The windows certainly don't look very special from the outside perspective! The Church opens its wide "portal" doors in hopes of attracting those who get a glimmer of its beauty (from the stained glass windows -figuratively and literally). It attracts the curious, the interested, and the open.
When someone steps inside the Church - both figuratively and literally - he or she sees the beauty of the stained glass windows for the very first time - the light streams through them re-creating them. The windows look incredibly different from the inside than they did from the outside. While light may surround the outside of the windows, it fails to expose the true beauty of the windows. A person with new faith will see a newness and a new-found beauty; they begin to appreciate the depth of the light within the Church. One never fully appreciates the Church's beauty when remaining on the outside looking in; it's only from the inside can we wonder in awe at God's truth and creation.
Until we have the opportunity to see the stained glass from the inside - where the light is allowed to re-create the windows - where the light underscores the imagery and reality of the Church, we fail to see and seek truth. When we remain on the outside, we will only see the "window's" flaws, the cracks or chinks in the windows, the need for tuckpointing, it's broken panes. But when inside the Church, we see things never before possible; we see depth, beauty, variety of colors (gifts), importance, significance, intensity, and necessity. It's from the inside that we can be awed by the stained glass; it's only from the inside that we can fall in love with the stained glass imagery and vibrancy. (sacraments, grace, moral and spiritual teachings, liturgical life, formation). We are all invited in to stay and experience the beauty and richness of the Stained Glass (the Church).
Think of this reflection the next time you go to Mass; study your Church's stained glass windows, regard them as God's invite to you to deepen your relationship with Him. He wants us all to grow in our faith, to renew ourselves, to unite ourselves to the Church. We are asked to draw in others as well. May we all be refined, renewed, re-stored to the Will of God.
Much of this reflection came from a homily I heard this past weekend; I thought you all may enjoy it as much as I did - just wanted to share it with you.
Check out my new release entitled: A Book For All Seasons. This book features beautiful, stained glass pictures which divide the various Liturgical Seasons of the Church Year. The readings and Gospels for each Sunday are given along with reflection questions, space to take homily notes so we can recall them later with family discussions. Finally, space is provided to reflect on the readings and the homily and write spitirual goals for the upcoming week. Check out http://www.fortifyingfamiliesoffaith.com/ for more information. This will make a great gift for yourself and your family and friends.
Vacations
Did you know that the root word for vacation means to empty? Guess that implies that a vacation empties us from past work, duties, assignments, responsibilities, etc. I would argue that few vacations empty us - rather a vacation can take us on a new adventure filled with new sets of opportunities and even work/responsibilities.
For instance, last week we went up north and spent a week on a lake. Getting there meant we had to plan and pack our way up north. We had to make endless trips in and out of the house stuffing the car and boat. Once we were there, our kids spent the entire time beating their brains against their skull while flying over lake waves on a tube and skis. Finally the effects of motion sickness began to take over. In fact, headaches were common.
Isn't it interesting, how headaches, mosquitos, bugs, nasty biting flies, sunburn, water & waves, help us to relax and enjoy each other's company just that much more!
While it may seem like I am complaining, I am not! Several years back we hear a talk at a convention which emphasized the wisdom of boating with teenagers. It allows boys to assume that wholesome "piracy role and adventure. After hearing the talk, we looked into buying a boat - an older one fit our pocket book. We found one perfect for a family with three kids - ok we settled! While our old boat is certainly not the cadillac on the lake, it has not let us down! The speaker 's assessments of boating with teens was right on!
It has allowed out teens to defy gravity and catch the big ones - fish and waves - OK, the fish are not really that big but big enough. Our son enjoys feeling like the skipper and a pirate! (well sort of). My husband enjoys the thrill of speeding and turning fast - similar to feelings he had while riding his motorcycle years ago! I love being on the water rather than looking at it from the shore. We have all had a great time bouncing over waves, and then stopping to jump in and swim. Tubing is like one giant roller coaster which goes for hours and hours without stopping!
Vacations are great - however I remain skeptical about their ability to empty us. Instead I think they re-fill our "gas tanks" with positive energy and mood!
For instance, last week we went up north and spent a week on a lake. Getting there meant we had to plan and pack our way up north. We had to make endless trips in and out of the house stuffing the car and boat. Once we were there, our kids spent the entire time beating their brains against their skull while flying over lake waves on a tube and skis. Finally the effects of motion sickness began to take over. In fact, headaches were common.
Isn't it interesting, how headaches, mosquitos, bugs, nasty biting flies, sunburn, water & waves, help us to relax and enjoy each other's company just that much more!
While it may seem like I am complaining, I am not! Several years back we hear a talk at a convention which emphasized the wisdom of boating with teenagers. It allows boys to assume that wholesome "piracy role and adventure. After hearing the talk, we looked into buying a boat - an older one fit our pocket book. We found one perfect for a family with three kids - ok we settled! While our old boat is certainly not the cadillac on the lake, it has not let us down! The speaker 's assessments of boating with teens was right on!
It has allowed out teens to defy gravity and catch the big ones - fish and waves - OK, the fish are not really that big but big enough. Our son enjoys feeling like the skipper and a pirate! (well sort of). My husband enjoys the thrill of speeding and turning fast - similar to feelings he had while riding his motorcycle years ago! I love being on the water rather than looking at it from the shore. We have all had a great time bouncing over waves, and then stopping to jump in and swim. Tubing is like one giant roller coaster which goes for hours and hours without stopping!
Vacations are great - however I remain skeptical about their ability to empty us. Instead I think they re-fill our "gas tanks" with positive energy and mood!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Parental Mistakes - Our recent one
Recently, as parents, we made a big blunder. We took our kids to an R rated movie that was pure trash. Why didn't we leave? Why did we go there to begin with? What were we thinking? Maybe we should have been alarmed when we didn't see any other kids were in the audience - of course it was pitch black in the theater becuase we were a bit late. While I could give additional excuses for our blunder (with some validity), the truth of the matter is we were not diligent enough (as parents) to protect our children's innocence or even our own.
The movie gave us some talking points but it would have been better to have had the talking points without the visual imagery burned into our memories. Afterwards, it is fair to state, we all felt like we had walked through a garbage dump; it's stench and slime clinging to our memories. The movie was like porn - it's images remained long after we left the theater.
The very next day, our blunder was highlighted by our son's friend's parent when she asked me about the movie. Our mistake had indeed been discovered! Her son had been told by my son that "Mom laughed during the movie" implying I enjoyed it! Yes, I did laugh- parts of it were funny; needless to say, my son and I had to have a second discussion! The parent was interested in knowing about the movie because her son had been asking to see it; she was more diligent than us in that she had read the reviews, saw the ratings and had concerns about the movie. What followed was a great discussion; we each got to know the other much better! Unfortunately I felt convicted as I should have; my reputation deservedly received a bit of a tarnishing. Yes, it is a contradiction to promote chastity and take your kids to this movie!
All parents will make an occasional mistake here and there. We will need to pick ourselves up afterwards, reaffirm why that was a bad decision, make the decision to not repeat it again, and ask God's forgiveness for weakness and poor judgment. But there will be consequences as well to our mistakes.
It brings to mind a recent story about a young woman who decided to become a sister (she lives in Italy). After making her decision, a jilted boyfriend posted nude pictures/poses of her on the internet for a number of reasons. His motives and actions are notably ugly for a variety of reasons; nevertheless, they cause us to also question the motive and reputation of this young woman.
The moral of the stories are: truly we are our brother's keeper. We are all called to help each other stay on the straight and narrow path to our heavenly Father. Our sins will be revealed in either this lifetime or the next! I am indebted to the mother who asked about the movie - I appreciated her investigation into our decision. I was relieved that she didn't just write me off as a bad parent! I appreciated her remarks! She taught me an important lesson that I need to remember. I appreciated the reminder that our sins have a ripple effect- they extend to people we can't even imagine would be affected!
Thank you God for placing people in my life to remind me of you! thank you for trying to make me a better person. Help me be strong for my children.
Ok, I will finally admit to you the title of the movie: The Hangover! Yes, we are that stupid sometimes! Mea Culpa.
The movie gave us some talking points but it would have been better to have had the talking points without the visual imagery burned into our memories. Afterwards, it is fair to state, we all felt like we had walked through a garbage dump; it's stench and slime clinging to our memories. The movie was like porn - it's images remained long after we left the theater.
The very next day, our blunder was highlighted by our son's friend's parent when she asked me about the movie. Our mistake had indeed been discovered! Her son had been told by my son that "Mom laughed during the movie" implying I enjoyed it! Yes, I did laugh- parts of it were funny; needless to say, my son and I had to have a second discussion! The parent was interested in knowing about the movie because her son had been asking to see it; she was more diligent than us in that she had read the reviews, saw the ratings and had concerns about the movie. What followed was a great discussion; we each got to know the other much better! Unfortunately I felt convicted as I should have; my reputation deservedly received a bit of a tarnishing. Yes, it is a contradiction to promote chastity and take your kids to this movie!
All parents will make an occasional mistake here and there. We will need to pick ourselves up afterwards, reaffirm why that was a bad decision, make the decision to not repeat it again, and ask God's forgiveness for weakness and poor judgment. But there will be consequences as well to our mistakes.
It brings to mind a recent story about a young woman who decided to become a sister (she lives in Italy). After making her decision, a jilted boyfriend posted nude pictures/poses of her on the internet for a number of reasons. His motives and actions are notably ugly for a variety of reasons; nevertheless, they cause us to also question the motive and reputation of this young woman.
The moral of the stories are: truly we are our brother's keeper. We are all called to help each other stay on the straight and narrow path to our heavenly Father. Our sins will be revealed in either this lifetime or the next! I am indebted to the mother who asked about the movie - I appreciated her investigation into our decision. I was relieved that she didn't just write me off as a bad parent! I appreciated her remarks! She taught me an important lesson that I need to remember. I appreciated the reminder that our sins have a ripple effect- they extend to people we can't even imagine would be affected!
Thank you God for placing people in my life to remind me of you! thank you for trying to make me a better person. Help me be strong for my children.
Ok, I will finally admit to you the title of the movie: The Hangover! Yes, we are that stupid sometimes! Mea Culpa.
Friday, July 17, 2009
What's a Nihil Obstat?
As a Catholic, I was aware of the Nihil Obstat and Imprimatur but unsure of their application for my books. Early on I had received counsel that since the books would be used by parents and teens, and not in classroom settings, I probably didn't need to submit the books to the censorship process within the Church regarding this certificate. However, I regretted not taking this extra step early on after trying to promote the book within diocesan and parish circles. People did want to know whether it passed the censorship process with regard to faith and morals.
So I decided to submit the books - after publication - to the censorship process and take my lumps. I wanted to know if the books contained any substantive errors with regard to faith and morals - a slip of one word here or there can impact this scrutiny. The Great News - which I am greatly relieved about - is that Daughters Forever, Sons Forever has received the Nihil Obstat certifcation! It's a relief knowing that I will not have to retract any paragraphs or sentences in this program.
I believe and understand that the Catholic Church has been given the authority by Jesus in matters of faith and morals. It is important that the Church scrutinize works which discuss faith and morals in order that they profess the true faith without error. (Catholic Catechism 890)
Each diocese in the Catholic Church has one or more censors which carefully review books such as mine - without charge - and give them the certificate if nothing therein is found to be contrary to the Faith (relevant Canon Law: "Title IV: The Means of Social Communication," ¶ 822-832)
The procedure should work like this: write a book, submit the manuscript (pre-publication) to the Diocesan Censor. A phone call to the Chancery office will help you determine who this person is. When the Censor gives his stamp of approval for the works , he notifies the Diocese who then notifies the author. If there are objections to parts or paragraphs, the author will have to change the work, resubmit the refreshed manuscript, and the review begins all over again.
After receiving the Nihil Obstat, the book is also sent to the Bishop for review. When a Bishop finds nothing objectionable in a work, he awards the "Imprimatur" which means, "let it be printed." When the book is written by a person who is a member of a religious order, the manuscript is first sent to his religious superior before going to the Diocesan Censor. The religious superior will give the book the stamp of Imprimi Potest; this means that the book can be printed. The work is then passed onto the Diocesan Censor.
The "Nihil Obstat" and "Imprimatur" are official declarations that a book is free of doctrinal or moral error. This in no way implies, that the Diocesan Censor or the Bishop agrees with the content, opinions or statements expressed in the book. It does not mean they necessarily like the book or that the book is without error regarding secular information. It certainly doesn't mean that the book is infallible! Rather, Nihil Obstat means that the doctrinal and moral teachings of the Church are not undermined, attacked or taught with error.
I am happy that Daughters Forever, Sons Forever has been given this certificate - now I can promote it with even more assurance. For those thinking about writing a book that will be promoted within the Church, take the time to have it reviewed by a Censor before getting it published.
So I decided to submit the books - after publication - to the censorship process and take my lumps. I wanted to know if the books contained any substantive errors with regard to faith and morals - a slip of one word here or there can impact this scrutiny. The Great News - which I am greatly relieved about - is that Daughters Forever, Sons Forever has received the Nihil Obstat certifcation! It's a relief knowing that I will not have to retract any paragraphs or sentences in this program.
I believe and understand that the Catholic Church has been given the authority by Jesus in matters of faith and morals. It is important that the Church scrutinize works which discuss faith and morals in order that they profess the true faith without error. (Catholic Catechism 890)
Each diocese in the Catholic Church has one or more censors which carefully review books such as mine - without charge - and give them the certificate if nothing therein is found to be contrary to the Faith (relevant Canon Law: "Title IV: The Means of Social Communication," ¶ 822-832)
The procedure should work like this: write a book, submit the manuscript (pre-publication) to the Diocesan Censor. A phone call to the Chancery office will help you determine who this person is. When the Censor gives his stamp of approval for the works , he notifies the Diocese who then notifies the author. If there are objections to parts or paragraphs, the author will have to change the work, resubmit the refreshed manuscript, and the review begins all over again.
After receiving the Nihil Obstat, the book is also sent to the Bishop for review. When a Bishop finds nothing objectionable in a work, he awards the "Imprimatur" which means, "let it be printed." When the book is written by a person who is a member of a religious order, the manuscript is first sent to his religious superior before going to the Diocesan Censor. The religious superior will give the book the stamp of Imprimi Potest; this means that the book can be printed. The work is then passed onto the Diocesan Censor.
The "Nihil Obstat" and "Imprimatur" are official declarations that a book is free of doctrinal or moral error. This in no way implies, that the Diocesan Censor or the Bishop agrees with the content, opinions or statements expressed in the book. It does not mean they necessarily like the book or that the book is without error regarding secular information. It certainly doesn't mean that the book is infallible! Rather, Nihil Obstat means that the doctrinal and moral teachings of the Church are not undermined, attacked or taught with error.
I am happy that Daughters Forever, Sons Forever has been given this certificate - now I can promote it with even more assurance. For those thinking about writing a book that will be promoted within the Church, take the time to have it reviewed by a Censor before getting it published.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Another Stop?
Vacation stops elicit obvious emotional responses from our kids - young and old. They are either excited about the next stop and look forward to it or they complain or whine about having to take one more hike, get out for one more overlook, or make one more bathroom visit.
We must not let their "ignorance" or negative emotional outburts prevent that next stop! When they least expect it, a dreaded stop suddenly becomes the most interesting, the most challenging, the most rewarding place our children have ever seen!
This past weekend we were driving along Lake Superior aka Gitche Gumee and made "that one more stop" which created a thunderstorm of protest by a certain teenager of ours - he thought it would be the most boring ever. Our thick parenting hides refused to give in to his protests. Is he ever glad we didn't listen to him! It turned out to be the most adventurous stop "he has ever had" including the opportunity to jump off at least a 20 foot rock into the cold waters flowing into Lake Superior. We even captured it on video. Stunningly beautiful for all who visit the shores along Lake Superior! Refreshing for those who dare to enter its waters. An obviously God-made world to all who look with eyes and hearts that are open to His Creations.
Parents present their children with so many learning opportunities as they travel along the highways and biways of this great land. Stop to visit those historic sites & religious shrines including old, barely recognizable presidential centers, Civil War battle sites, Revolutionary War Sites, shrines, cathedrals, and other civic sites your kids thought would be boring! Don't give into their whining and pre-visit complaining. They never know what is truly around the next corner or stop that fuels their interests, peaks their thirst for knowing more about this country, their faith, or their ancestry.
As parents we can appreciate the fact that it is actually fun to learn new things every day. Parents, kindle that love of learning that is all too often lost upon many of the young people around us because it's going to be boring!
Fuel their sense of adventure by letting them learn about lives from long ago - have them hike those same trails, live those same simple lifestyles. And above all, know that many times our kids "doth protest too much" about things they simply do not know.
We must not let their "ignorance" or negative emotional outburts prevent that next stop! When they least expect it, a dreaded stop suddenly becomes the most interesting, the most challenging, the most rewarding place our children have ever seen!
This past weekend we were driving along Lake Superior aka Gitche Gumee and made "that one more stop" which created a thunderstorm of protest by a certain teenager of ours - he thought it would be the most boring ever. Our thick parenting hides refused to give in to his protests. Is he ever glad we didn't listen to him! It turned out to be the most adventurous stop "he has ever had" including the opportunity to jump off at least a 20 foot rock into the cold waters flowing into Lake Superior. We even captured it on video. Stunningly beautiful for all who visit the shores along Lake Superior! Refreshing for those who dare to enter its waters. An obviously God-made world to all who look with eyes and hearts that are open to His Creations.
Parents present their children with so many learning opportunities as they travel along the highways and biways of this great land. Stop to visit those historic sites & religious shrines including old, barely recognizable presidential centers, Civil War battle sites, Revolutionary War Sites, shrines, cathedrals, and other civic sites your kids thought would be boring! Don't give into their whining and pre-visit complaining. They never know what is truly around the next corner or stop that fuels their interests, peaks their thirst for knowing more about this country, their faith, or their ancestry.
As parents we can appreciate the fact that it is actually fun to learn new things every day. Parents, kindle that love of learning that is all too often lost upon many of the young people around us because it's going to be boring!
Fuel their sense of adventure by letting them learn about lives from long ago - have them hike those same trails, live those same simple lifestyles. And above all, know that many times our kids "doth protest too much" about things they simply do not know.
Monday, June 22, 2009
The Revolving Door Policies for College Students Home for Summer
Do you yearn for your college-bound student to return home for the summer but begin to feel guilty as you look forward to the Fall when they go back to college. Do you wish Fall wasn't so far away? Do we have the same feelings with regard to our younger grade schoolers and high schoolers? Do you wonder where the connectedness went? How was it that we felt so in tune and harmonized to our little children but disconnect with our teens and older children? Is it natural to disconnect or is it a social expectation?
While I don't have answers for these questions, you may be interested to know that it's natural that just about right now many families begin to have adjustment problems with their home-bound students even while loving the fact that they are home once again. Furthermore, the "key lecture" we give our returning students during these adjustment periods often center around the following: reminding him/her that the world does not revolve around them, reminders to consider a "family" schedule, reminders of how to act appropriately around younger brothers and sisters; reminding our college-bound student to be "others" centered, rather than primarily self centered and self focused; reminding them of the importance of family; orienting them back to the family rather than self; reminding them to be helpful around the home rather than to be dependent on other's attention, care, and efforts; reminding them of their spiritual roots, the importance of prayer, Confession and the Church rather than being free-spirited.
These reminders seem especially important around 3-4 weeks after their arrival home. Are lectures orchestrated to occur at this time? No, but the timing of parental lectures is oddly similar; as parents we can "take" a bit of self-centered attitudes from our kids. However; as time goes on and the attitude doesn't "re-adjust" to include others, parents must rise to the occasion and "knock the student off their self-imposed pedestal" by reminding them they are not the center of the universe. This humbling of our students is necessary for their own sake. While we want our children to grow up and become "independent", it is important that we remind them that true freedom and peace comes from discovering and living according to God's will for their lives; peace does not generate in and of the world but from God.
Summer becomes just one more teaching opportunity for parents and one more learning experience for our young adult children who come back home to live. May you all have a great summer. Enjoy those children- life is short. May God Bless you and keep you all safe.
While I don't have answers for these questions, you may be interested to know that it's natural that just about right now many families begin to have adjustment problems with their home-bound students even while loving the fact that they are home once again. Furthermore, the "key lecture" we give our returning students during these adjustment periods often center around the following: reminding him/her that the world does not revolve around them, reminders to consider a "family" schedule, reminders of how to act appropriately around younger brothers and sisters; reminding our college-bound student to be "others" centered, rather than primarily self centered and self focused; reminding them of the importance of family; orienting them back to the family rather than self; reminding them to be helpful around the home rather than to be dependent on other's attention, care, and efforts; reminding them of their spiritual roots, the importance of prayer, Confession and the Church rather than being free-spirited.
These reminders seem especially important around 3-4 weeks after their arrival home. Are lectures orchestrated to occur at this time? No, but the timing of parental lectures is oddly similar; as parents we can "take" a bit of self-centered attitudes from our kids. However; as time goes on and the attitude doesn't "re-adjust" to include others, parents must rise to the occasion and "knock the student off their self-imposed pedestal" by reminding them they are not the center of the universe. This humbling of our students is necessary for their own sake. While we want our children to grow up and become "independent", it is important that we remind them that true freedom and peace comes from discovering and living according to God's will for their lives; peace does not generate in and of the world but from God.
Summer becomes just one more teaching opportunity for parents and one more learning experience for our young adult children who come back home to live. May you all have a great summer. Enjoy those children- life is short. May God Bless you and keep you all safe.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Why Do Women Talk So Much?
Some husbands wonder how women can talk and talk and talk without tiring or losing interest in the subject matter. Maybe sometimes we women even wonder how we can talk so much without tiring! Well, now we know! A study shows that connecting emotionally with another friend helps to boost our moods and reduce or eliminate stress!
Scientists discovered that progesterone rises or falls depending on whom and what we are talking about. Neutral discussions do nothing for our female moods; in fact, the study showed that progesterone actually falls during such discussions. On the other hand, when women feel emotionally connected to someone via talking, then our hormone levels rise elevating mood and reducing stress.
Progesterone, a marker used to measure oxytocin levels, was studied. Oxytocin is often dubbed the love hormone because it is released during breastfeeding, during intimate times, and even during eye to eye contact. It is essential for building relationships and strengthening human bonding. This is partly why breastfeeding enables closer mother- baby bonding. It also helps explain the strength of the human bond between husband and wife.
Interestingly, the study demonstrated that increased progesterone levels predicted a increased willingness to risk one's life for another. It is important to note that progesterone elevates significantly during pregnancy; naturally this is the time when mothers must be willing to put their own well being secondary to the well being of their unborn baby in order for a successful outcome to the pregnancy.
Of interest to me was this statement: "the hormonal basis of social bonds enable people to suppress self interest* " This should beg further investigation into whether or not the artificial regulation of women's and men's natural hormone levels (via the Pill, hormonal contraception, hormonal growth therapies, sexual dysfunction therapies) pre-empt good social bonding and the suppression of self interest. Do these therapies stymie bonding? Do they increase self interest? Take a look around. It wouldn't be that far fetched to wonder if the effects of the Pill are much more than simple birth control measures! Perhaps they limit bonding. Perhaps these hormonal birth control measures drive down authentic love. Perhaps they increase self interest! This is what JP ll taught in the Theology of the Body discourses. This brilliant observation by the Pope years ago seems to be confirmed by hormone science studies.
What say you?
*Hormones and Behavior by Stephanie Brown reported in www.twincities.com
Scientists discovered that progesterone rises or falls depending on whom and what we are talking about. Neutral discussions do nothing for our female moods; in fact, the study showed that progesterone actually falls during such discussions. On the other hand, when women feel emotionally connected to someone via talking, then our hormone levels rise elevating mood and reducing stress.
Progesterone, a marker used to measure oxytocin levels, was studied. Oxytocin is often dubbed the love hormone because it is released during breastfeeding, during intimate times, and even during eye to eye contact. It is essential for building relationships and strengthening human bonding. This is partly why breastfeeding enables closer mother- baby bonding. It also helps explain the strength of the human bond between husband and wife.
Interestingly, the study demonstrated that increased progesterone levels predicted a increased willingness to risk one's life for another. It is important to note that progesterone elevates significantly during pregnancy; naturally this is the time when mothers must be willing to put their own well being secondary to the well being of their unborn baby in order for a successful outcome to the pregnancy.
Of interest to me was this statement: "the hormonal basis of social bonds enable people to suppress self interest* " This should beg further investigation into whether or not the artificial regulation of women's and men's natural hormone levels (via the Pill, hormonal contraception, hormonal growth therapies, sexual dysfunction therapies) pre-empt good social bonding and the suppression of self interest. Do these therapies stymie bonding? Do they increase self interest? Take a look around. It wouldn't be that far fetched to wonder if the effects of the Pill are much more than simple birth control measures! Perhaps they limit bonding. Perhaps these hormonal birth control measures drive down authentic love. Perhaps they increase self interest! This is what JP ll taught in the Theology of the Body discourses. This brilliant observation by the Pope years ago seems to be confirmed by hormone science studies.
What say you?
*Hormones and Behavior by Stephanie Brown reported in www.twincities.com
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
What Comes First- Aging Or Menopause?
What comes first- menopause or aging? Does aging naturally result in menopause or does menopause cause a more rapid aging? This is the billion dollar question which must be asked by generation of women, men and science.
Menopause research could quickly and erroneously conclude that menopause causes negative aging; however, is this the proper order of events? The medical-pharmaceutical industries are betting big bucks on this as they search for ways to medicalize (control) menopause.
Different research sources regard menopause quite differently. Some research positions the menopuase state as unnatural due to longevity of women in today's post-modern generations. Previously, large groups of older women simply didn’t exist because many died prematurely- due to childbirth, illness, infection, and other causes. Today's women, in large measure, live up to one third of their lives after menopause! Our improved longevity is due to modernized childbirth and post partum care, better nutrition, antibiotics, superior sanitation measures, and enhanced health. Women live longer than before and they live longer as older women – therefore menopause is more apparent to the medical arena.
To assume that living longer is the problem or that menopause is unnatural because of longer life spans is simply faulty reasoning on top of faulty reasoning. It is faulty to presume that because menopause wasn’t "wide-spread” in previous eras, women weren’t meant to live for many years beyond natural menopause. Menopause is not a cruel joke for women who happen to have outlived their ancestors by several generations. Some scientists have remarked, very off point, that women are the only species to outlive fertility and thus menopause is unnatural! Their solutions to this problem are to control and over- medicalize menopause.
Medicalization of menopause attempts to stave off menopause or its effects & symptoms to an even older, unnatural menopausal age. If the medical arena assumes that menopause is a disease they look for therapeutic and medicalized treatment plans. As a result, hormone replacement therapies are considered the way to ward off menopause. However, the therapeutic paths forward are less clear to many women and doctors given the evidence from the Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) and the Heart Estrogen Replacement Study (HERS).
The results of these large menopause studies will be considered in a future blog.
Menopause research could quickly and erroneously conclude that menopause causes negative aging; however, is this the proper order of events? The medical-pharmaceutical industries are betting big bucks on this as they search for ways to medicalize (control) menopause.
Different research sources regard menopause quite differently. Some research positions the menopuase state as unnatural due to longevity of women in today's post-modern generations. Previously, large groups of older women simply didn’t exist because many died prematurely- due to childbirth, illness, infection, and other causes. Today's women, in large measure, live up to one third of their lives after menopause! Our improved longevity is due to modernized childbirth and post partum care, better nutrition, antibiotics, superior sanitation measures, and enhanced health. Women live longer than before and they live longer as older women – therefore menopause is more apparent to the medical arena.
To assume that living longer is the problem or that menopause is unnatural because of longer life spans is simply faulty reasoning on top of faulty reasoning. It is faulty to presume that because menopause wasn’t "wide-spread” in previous eras, women weren’t meant to live for many years beyond natural menopause. Menopause is not a cruel joke for women who happen to have outlived their ancestors by several generations. Some scientists have remarked, very off point, that women are the only species to outlive fertility and thus menopause is unnatural! Their solutions to this problem are to control and over- medicalize menopause.
Medicalization of menopause attempts to stave off menopause or its effects & symptoms to an even older, unnatural menopausal age. If the medical arena assumes that menopause is a disease they look for therapeutic and medicalized treatment plans. As a result, hormone replacement therapies are considered the way to ward off menopause. However, the therapeutic paths forward are less clear to many women and doctors given the evidence from the Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) and the Heart Estrogen Replacement Study (HERS).
The results of these large menopause studies will be considered in a future blog.
Air Force Graduation Week
Normally, I avoid blogging about personal, family matters; today bear with me as I “brag” blog about some personal memories and experiences from Graduation Week at the US Air Force Academy (USAFA). Our son, Michael, graduated this past Wednesday, May 27, 2009 from the USAFA. Michael was simultaneously commissioned as a second lieutenant- he now enters active military duty in the defense of our nation.
Before detailing the events of the graduation, let me take you down my memory lane. Over 40 years ago, my grandmother worked as a civilian at Ellsworth Air Force Base, Rapid City, SD. One day, she delighted us with tickets to the air show of the mighty Thunderbirds – little did I imagine then that today my son would have hopes of flying fighter jets. Furthermore, as little girls, my sisters and I would swing wildly back and forth while singing the following at the top of our lungs (you may recall this song was sung to the tune of the Air Force Song): “They took the blues from the skies/ and the pretty girls eyes/ and a touch of old glory too/ and gave it to the men /who proudly wear /the US Air Force Blues.” Today our son wears these blues.
A decade later, I came very close to joining the Air Force ROTC while attending college at UND – Grand Forks, ND. The physical and preliminary testing & paperwork were well underway; however a week prior to signing the papers, I received an offer from 3M Co. for a Student Co-Operative employment opportunity as a process engineer. It was during this co-op stint that I met my husband, Dave; following graduation, we married and both worked at 3M as engineers. Thus, today’s connection to the Air Force actually was obtusely aligned a long time ago.
Graduation Week flooded me with these memories and established new ones. Graduation week also re-emphasized how opportunities and life choices are often more momentous than we appreciate at the time. I know that Michael is a far better choice for the Air Force than I would have been! We are thankful for the path that God continues to provide for us all.
What was Graduation Week like? Well, it began with almost our entire family camping at the FAMCAMP on base of the USAFA; friends, aunts and uncles, nephews, cousins attended as well. While the weather was cold, rainy and troublesome, we endured. Not only did we endure, we enjoyed the moments filled with pomp and circumstance.
The week began with Sunday Mass in the Cadet Chapel. In place of the homily, the Catholic Chaplain welcomed Dr. Thomas Jones as a baccalaureate speaker. Dr. Jones is a scientist, pilot, author, former NASA astronaut, and Catholic. He was able to witness the beauty of the whole of creation- including the stars, planets, asteroids, and the earth while on his four space missions into orbit. Dr. Jones talked about his gratitude for the prayers for the safety of the flight prior to launch. Before one mission, he was particularly consoled by a mass reading from Jeremiah which promises that God protects us from danger… He also related a memorable moment during one space mission in which he and the two other Catholic astronauts (3 of the 5 astronauts on board were Catholic) received the Holy Eucharist at the moment when daylight suddenly flashed into the shuttle windows. The sudden brilliance underscores the nature of the Eucharist according to Dr. Jones and all Catholic believers. Furthermore, the beautiful blue earth underscored to him how the Blessed Virgin protects us with her blue mantle.
His mission walk in space reinforced how insignificant man is compared to the cosmos and to God’s glory; nevertheless we are lovingly created in the image and likeness of Almighty God. Dr. Jones ended with the caution that certain risk taking is necessary in a world fraught with problems and challenges; however, the risks and the benefits must be considered cooperatively. Jones feels we are in a risk averse culture but repeats the philosophy of JP II: be not afraid.
We were able to talk to several officer professors in the Physics/Meterology Department. They threw a wonderful open house for the graduating cadets who majored in these areas. Our son is now a meteorologist – he has wanted to be one for over a decade! We were also blessed to have the presence of a priest friend –Father Scott Carl-who said several daily masses during the week.
We had fun at a party thrown by our son and two other cadets: David Abraham and Joseph Atherton. Members of the different families were in attendance and it was a creative mix of good food, slide show, and conversation. The next night we were grateful to pin the shoulder boards on Michael during his commissioning ceremony. His commissioning ceremony took place at the Superintendant’s residence. This historic compound was built by Albert Carlton – a pioneer who made a fortune from the gold mines of Cripple Creek, Colorado.” After retiring to the Broadmoor, the Carlton’s wanted a summer home; they purchased property and built the home in 1930. The home was completed in 1931 and Albert died shortly thereafter. Mrs. Carlton added onto the property and made it her permanent residence. After her death, the property exchanged hands becoming a country club prior to being purchased by the federal government in 1954.
The compound features a number of exquisite, stucco structures built according to the “Spanish Colonial Revival Style; this includes classical iron work decorating the windows and balcony; harmony with the surrounding environment, gently sloping tile roofs, and continuity between the interior and exterior of the structure.” It was originally outfitted with furnishings from Mrs. Carlton’s European trips. We ventured into the dining room, the sitting room, the grounds, the game room, and more.
Graduation day felt like a festivity with tightened security. We witnessed the obvious presence of secret service agents, police dogs, and military police all around the grounds. This heightened security was due to the presence of Vice President Joseph Biden and the Secretary of the Air Force Michael B. Donley. VP Biden delivered the Graduation Address; the address was a mixture of politics, personal witness, and encouragement to the newly commissioned officers. He made a few blunders during the address; for instance he commented that while visiting Afghanistan the previous week he descended to 900,000 feet- none of us thought that was possible! He also poked fun at the President regarding Teleprompters. It was encouraging to learn that his son, Bo, is also serving in the military and is currently positioned somewhere in Afghanistan. Hopefully, he will be watching our sons and daughters backs as promised in part due to increased awareness of the needs of military personnel via his son’s experience.
Over 1000 cadets were called forward to receive their diplomas, shake the VP’s hand, and swear an oath to the country. This process took over 2 hours but was never boring! Within a split second of throwing of the hats, the mighty diamond formation of the Thunderbirds roared overhead without prior warning or sound. Their thunderous engines were clearly heard as they passed the stadium. The crowd cheered almost as loudly. The air show followed graduation; it was choreographed to wonderfully patriotic American songs. It was a grand finale to a wonderful day. My brother Kevin so profoundly questioned how these beautiful machines could also be so horrendously deadly. The F-16’s have delivered many bombs and missiles to enemy combatants.
These were the memories of Graduation Week. Fun, excitement, fatigue, cold, memories, pride filled the week. We are proud of Michael. Thanks to family and friends who have supported him over the years. Thanks to Kathy, Kevin, Patty, Brandon, Kaydance, Fr. Carl, Michelle & Kaan, Jackson, Kristian, Lindsay & John, Matthias, Kelly, Patrick, Kyra for coming to Graduation Week!
Before detailing the events of the graduation, let me take you down my memory lane. Over 40 years ago, my grandmother worked as a civilian at Ellsworth Air Force Base, Rapid City, SD. One day, she delighted us with tickets to the air show of the mighty Thunderbirds – little did I imagine then that today my son would have hopes of flying fighter jets. Furthermore, as little girls, my sisters and I would swing wildly back and forth while singing the following at the top of our lungs (you may recall this song was sung to the tune of the Air Force Song): “They took the blues from the skies/ and the pretty girls eyes/ and a touch of old glory too/ and gave it to the men /who proudly wear /the US Air Force Blues.” Today our son wears these blues.
A decade later, I came very close to joining the Air Force ROTC while attending college at UND – Grand Forks, ND. The physical and preliminary testing & paperwork were well underway; however a week prior to signing the papers, I received an offer from 3M Co. for a Student Co-Operative employment opportunity as a process engineer. It was during this co-op stint that I met my husband, Dave; following graduation, we married and both worked at 3M as engineers. Thus, today’s connection to the Air Force actually was obtusely aligned a long time ago.
Graduation Week flooded me with these memories and established new ones. Graduation week also re-emphasized how opportunities and life choices are often more momentous than we appreciate at the time. I know that Michael is a far better choice for the Air Force than I would have been! We are thankful for the path that God continues to provide for us all.
What was Graduation Week like? Well, it began with almost our entire family camping at the FAMCAMP on base of the USAFA; friends, aunts and uncles, nephews, cousins attended as well. While the weather was cold, rainy and troublesome, we endured. Not only did we endure, we enjoyed the moments filled with pomp and circumstance.
The week began with Sunday Mass in the Cadet Chapel. In place of the homily, the Catholic Chaplain welcomed Dr. Thomas Jones as a baccalaureate speaker. Dr. Jones is a scientist, pilot, author, former NASA astronaut, and Catholic. He was able to witness the beauty of the whole of creation- including the stars, planets, asteroids, and the earth while on his four space missions into orbit. Dr. Jones talked about his gratitude for the prayers for the safety of the flight prior to launch. Before one mission, he was particularly consoled by a mass reading from Jeremiah which promises that God protects us from danger… He also related a memorable moment during one space mission in which he and the two other Catholic astronauts (3 of the 5 astronauts on board were Catholic) received the Holy Eucharist at the moment when daylight suddenly flashed into the shuttle windows. The sudden brilliance underscores the nature of the Eucharist according to Dr. Jones and all Catholic believers. Furthermore, the beautiful blue earth underscored to him how the Blessed Virgin protects us with her blue mantle.
His mission walk in space reinforced how insignificant man is compared to the cosmos and to God’s glory; nevertheless we are lovingly created in the image and likeness of Almighty God. Dr. Jones ended with the caution that certain risk taking is necessary in a world fraught with problems and challenges; however, the risks and the benefits must be considered cooperatively. Jones feels we are in a risk averse culture but repeats the philosophy of JP II: be not afraid.
We were able to talk to several officer professors in the Physics/Meterology Department. They threw a wonderful open house for the graduating cadets who majored in these areas. Our son is now a meteorologist – he has wanted to be one for over a decade! We were also blessed to have the presence of a priest friend –Father Scott Carl-who said several daily masses during the week.
We had fun at a party thrown by our son and two other cadets: David Abraham and Joseph Atherton. Members of the different families were in attendance and it was a creative mix of good food, slide show, and conversation. The next night we were grateful to pin the shoulder boards on Michael during his commissioning ceremony. His commissioning ceremony took place at the Superintendant’s residence. This historic compound was built by Albert Carlton – a pioneer who made a fortune from the gold mines of Cripple Creek, Colorado.” After retiring to the Broadmoor, the Carlton’s wanted a summer home; they purchased property and built the home in 1930. The home was completed in 1931 and Albert died shortly thereafter. Mrs. Carlton added onto the property and made it her permanent residence. After her death, the property exchanged hands becoming a country club prior to being purchased by the federal government in 1954.
The compound features a number of exquisite, stucco structures built according to the “Spanish Colonial Revival Style; this includes classical iron work decorating the windows and balcony; harmony with the surrounding environment, gently sloping tile roofs, and continuity between the interior and exterior of the structure.” It was originally outfitted with furnishings from Mrs. Carlton’s European trips. We ventured into the dining room, the sitting room, the grounds, the game room, and more.
Graduation day felt like a festivity with tightened security. We witnessed the obvious presence of secret service agents, police dogs, and military police all around the grounds. This heightened security was due to the presence of Vice President Joseph Biden and the Secretary of the Air Force Michael B. Donley. VP Biden delivered the Graduation Address; the address was a mixture of politics, personal witness, and encouragement to the newly commissioned officers. He made a few blunders during the address; for instance he commented that while visiting Afghanistan the previous week he descended to 900,000 feet- none of us thought that was possible! He also poked fun at the President regarding Teleprompters. It was encouraging to learn that his son, Bo, is also serving in the military and is currently positioned somewhere in Afghanistan. Hopefully, he will be watching our sons and daughters backs as promised in part due to increased awareness of the needs of military personnel via his son’s experience.
Over 1000 cadets were called forward to receive their diplomas, shake the VP’s hand, and swear an oath to the country. This process took over 2 hours but was never boring! Within a split second of throwing of the hats, the mighty diamond formation of the Thunderbirds roared overhead without prior warning or sound. Their thunderous engines were clearly heard as they passed the stadium. The crowd cheered almost as loudly. The air show followed graduation; it was choreographed to wonderfully patriotic American songs. It was a grand finale to a wonderful day. My brother Kevin so profoundly questioned how these beautiful machines could also be so horrendously deadly. The F-16’s have delivered many bombs and missiles to enemy combatants.
These were the memories of Graduation Week. Fun, excitement, fatigue, cold, memories, pride filled the week. We are proud of Michael. Thanks to family and friends who have supported him over the years. Thanks to Kathy, Kevin, Patty, Brandon, Kaydance, Fr. Carl, Michelle & Kaan, Jackson, Kristian, Lindsay & John, Matthias, Kelly, Patrick, Kyra for coming to Graduation Week!
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