Videos used during Parenting Teens Building Strong Futures

Embedded are links to the videos shown Saturday (as well as several others that we recommend watching with your teen ). Thought you might enjoy watching them again! 

Inspirational video for Parents

The 'Mom' Song

'Eating Out' Ad from Blue Cross of MN

MIT Gangnam Style

'Money' - Liza Minnelli, Joel Grey (not shown)

Every 15 minutes a Teenager Dies from Drunk Driving (not shown)

R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts (video)

Social Media Revolution 2011

11 Facts about Body Image

Every Life is Beautiful: Melinda and Will Delahoyde (not shown)

Every Life is Beautiful: Robert Amaya

The Miracle of Life - Right to Life Video - Hyper Pixels Media

Every Life is Beautiful: Gianna Jessen

Fishers of Men (Part 2) 

Dad's Life 2011

What is Worldview? (Not shown) 

WatchingYou

St. Therese's Canticle of Love (Not shown) 

A few questions and thoughts from a connected mom

I am interested in reading the one on Parenting Good Social Citizens as I want to ensure there are "how to" tools that parents can use to teach our children social and emotional skills that you seem to refer to. But most important: how to engage children in having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? And how to prevent that in later years they rebel because they feel that parents forced the faith on them.

I have a 7 year old daughter is just said last night "It is MY choice, not yours mom" on whether she should do something or pray. And for the first time, I hear "Mom, I really like someone"... thank God my husband Jesus and I don't react but rather respond asking wisdom from the Holy Spirit!

So do you have tools to help us counteract these lies that the enemy is feeding our children? If we do not address them, these lies become entrenched and they base their choices and behaviors on these deceptive thoughts. The enemy is actively working to create a divide among children and parents. The truth is that the faith formation classes offered at parishes are ineffective at building and strengthening that relationship in Christ so they can support the work and faith formation and leading by example we do at home. M. C.
 

My response: 

I think my book (Mothers Forever, Fathers Forever: Parenting Against the Tide)  fits the bill that you are hoping for. That was my intent – to offer tools on how to parent good social citizens, children of faith, etc. ... I think I forgot to attach the first lesson so here it is again.

How did you respond to your daughter when she said it is her choice? My suggestion would be the following: God, as a loving parent, gave us all free will. This is true, all of us have our own choice to make however that is also why God gave you parents rather than having human babies on their own completely after being born like many animals. Certainly by the age of seven, all animals are on their own. So by your age, they have to fend for themselves, feed themselves, etc. I don’t think you want that or are ready for that. Then God also laid on our hearts the commandment of obedience. We obey for good reason (outlined in my book). Even Jesus was obedient to his father . Children have the duty of obeying their parents in part because of appreciation for being given life freely, being taken care of …. Etc. So, right now, it is our choice to pray and since you are a child and bound by obedience, you will pray as well with us.

 Regarding I really like someone. That’s fine dear except, why do you really like that someone… Then have that discussion and suggest that love and like are two different things. IT’s ok to like someone but we are called to like everyone. Inform her again, that at the age of 7, one is not ready to be exclusive. Not even at 15 or 18. (again, in the book)….

The book doesn’t have these types of examples, that’s the purpose of the book club. And also my blog… check that out as well. I am happy to continue our dialogue. I am going to post your questions and my responses on my blog after I finish with this email.

Also you should ask her where she came up with the choice thing? I doubt it was her own idea…. So that would be a good line of questioning to pursue.

And I agree, the forces are there to separate parents from teens and children. That is the whole point of our Parenting Teens: Building Strong Futures; Daughters Forever, Sons Forever, etc.

Sincerely,

Linda Kracht 

Fortifying Families of Faith 

When Do I Use the Worksheets?

Parents who attended Parenting Teens: Building Strong Futures are handed a number of worksheets and teaching notes. Some parents wonder what they are for and when they should use them.This posting should clarify questions you may have with regard to their use.

Question 1: How do we know what to do first? Open the parent workbook and at the start of each chapter is a clear set of instructions about what to read, when to watch a video (if one pertains to this section), etc.

Question 2: What do I do with the teaching notes handouts (numbered like 3-1 for instance)? These notes were meant to be background information for parents. You are the teacher and its best to know a bit more than the student you are teaching. In this case the student is your son or daughter. I thought these notes would be helpful information.

Question 3: What do we do with the various worksheets in the wire bound booklet entitled parent materials? 

I will include a 'schedule' for each of the following worksheets that will clarify when to use them. 

Worksheet Title - page number - when/what to do with worksheet 

Parenting Teens  - 1 - This is for your own benefit as a parent. Not to be filled out by teen. You can fill this out before getting started, halfway through, at the end of the program, or never. This is entirely for your own self - assessment.

Personality Type - 2 - This may be an interesting worksheet to complete with your  teen. I have already noted the characteristics of this type of personality. While none of us fit a type perfectly, it may be an interesting exercise for both parents and teens to go through. Make extra copies before filling the sections in. I would recommend doing this at the start of the first session. Also, have your teen draw an image of himself/herself and keep that with his/her daughters/sons workbook. 

Gender Matters - 3 - This worksheet fits nicely at the end of Chapter Three - Speaking on Gender. Please fill out this worksheet and discuss when covering this chapter. Make extra copies if you prefer to have the different people fill them out separately.  

What's Your Worldview? - 4 - This is an interesting worksheet to be filled out at the conclusion of the program  and when discussion Chapter Ten.


What's your Christian Sense - 5  -   This goes with the previous worksheet. Fill it out at the  conclusion of the program (when discussing Chapter Ten).   

Practical Strategies to Avoid Giving Mixed Messages  - 6 & 7 - Read/think about Giving Mixed Messages when covering Chapter One. Discuss this with your teens and have them also fill out the worksheet exercise after defining Mixed Messaging using Handout 6. 

I Gotta Have It - 8 - Discuss this worksheet when discussing Materialism found in Chapter Two.
Within this chapter is a discussion about dressing for success, porn, internet, and a few other topics. Be sure to discuss modesty ("it's not that it reveals too much of a person it actually reveals too little about a person" JP ll). Computer usage: limit time spent, main room, passwords, parent supervision.Social media: not before the age of 15... etc. 

Group Think - 9 & 10- Group think - another word for group think is mentality. This is arrived at in part due to peer pressure to think like everyone else. It is also accommodated by moral relativism. Use these two worksheets when discussing peer pressure in Chapter Two. Be sure and explain how peer pressure is not just something teens need to be aware of; we are all susceptible to peer pressure.   If you recall, group think is doing something perceived to be the norm without questioning the morality of an action, etc. 

Assessing Rape Attitudes - 11 - Discuss this when discussing Chapter Four and specifically the section on hooking up and dating. Have teen fill out the survey; discuss results. 

Building My Pyramid - 12 - This same worksheet is in the parent and teen workbooks. Work on this when it presents itself in the workbooks. 

Cats in the Cradle - 13 - This worksheet is really just the words to a popular song of the 1970's era. It goes well with the previous worksheet. Have teen read the words and write a ballad for himself and you. It will be a fun exercise at re-writing poetry to fit your son/daughter personally. 

Assessing your Marriage Attitude - 14 - Have your student (and yourself using a separate copy) fill our this worksheet when covering Chapter Seven - Marriage. BE sure to discuss the results of your teens' attitudes. 

Assessing your Tolerance for Divorce - 15 - This worksheet is also to be used during the discussions about Marriage.

Parents: Primary Educators of their Teens- 16 & 17 & 18  - Read worksheet Number 17 and then fill out worksheets 16 & 18. Discuss with teens. They do not have to fill out the parent worksheets 16 & 18, but they should complete worksheet 19. Discuss this at the conclusion of the program - Chapter Ten.

The Bible Teaches Teens- 19 - Have teens fill out this worksheet before discussing 16 and 18 with them.  Discuss this at the conclusion of the program - Chapter Ten.

The ISM's - 20 - 21 - A reference guide for parents.  To be filled out by parent/teen regularly throughout program. Do not wait until the end of the program to do this. Answer about 5 each chapter. 

Technologies that come back to bite - 22- To be discussed when talking about cell phones, computers, social media, etc. Use when discussing Chapter Two. Recall that Gaudium Et Spes, written by Pope Paul Vl, forewarned of the "technologies that recoil on man." It may be helpful to read sections of this encyclical online; have teen review it also. 

Our Stairway to Heaven - 23 - Discuss this at the conclusion of the program - Chapter Ten.

Abortion Information - 24 - Background information when discussing  Chapter Six.

Question on parent handout regarding disinterested service

A parent recently asked me to clarify the meaning of the term disinterested service with regard to the duties of parents found in Handout 1:b:  

"Create a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity and disinterested service are the rule. In other words, we are to foster loving environments in which our children can flourish and in which there is no partiality. It is the environment by which parents look out for the common good of all members of the family." CCC 2223

The first thought that probably strikes most readers is - this must be wrong! Why would the Catechism teach parents that it is acceptable to show disinterested service when parenting? For most of us, the term disinterest means lack of interest. But that is not that only meaning of the word: disinterested. This term can mean any of the following (according to the Random House Dictionary): 

• not influenced by selfish movtives
• unbiased by personal interest or advantage
• not interested; indifferent

We can say confidently, that the authors of the Catholic Catechism did not mean the latter definition for disinterested service. Rather they teach parents to create a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and sacrificial (unselfish) service are the rule. We ought to parent without asking what's in it for me in other words!

Parenting Teens: Building Strong Futures

To Parents of our Parenting Teens: Building Strong Futures Workshops

After any workshop, it's perfectly normal to have additional questions. These will be posted under the Parenting Teens: Building Strong Futures label; check this out at your convenience and post questions or provide additional insight to the various postings.

We hope you avail yourselves of this label frequently. Please feel free to post comments, questions, or concerns. This section is for you. We decided that most parents are too busy to tune into an online chat but let me know if you decide that you prefer that venue to this one.

You may also send me an email if you choose to use that forum. That address is linda@fortifyingfamiliesoffaith.com

These are the questions sent our way since the last parent workshop: 

Comment:  Parents of younger children should also have been invited.

Our response: We agree and going forward publicity will state for parents of children ages 12 and older.

Question: What is the order of using the Daughters Forever, Sons Forever curriculum? 

Answer: We covered a lot of material at the workshop and I apologize for not making it crystal clear as to what to read or do first, second, third, etc. So let me try and clarify here.

The parent workbook (not the teen workbook) prefaces each section with a detailed To Do List (the teen workbooks just have an abbreviated check list) For instance, section one tells parents to  read the Introduction and Chapter one, highlighting points of interest. Then it instructs parents to read the summary in the workbook, complete reflection questions, and then assign reading, workbook, etc. to your teen. It gives other details as well.

Try and finish each section within a month's period of time.

Question: When do we use the parent worksheets handed out in the workshop? I believe they are compiled in a ring-bound booklet called the Parent Handouts? 

Answer: The parent handbook contained Seventeen handouts (some handouts have an a and b sheet). We recommend using them as indicated:

Title                 Handout #  When/how 
Parenting: Handout 1 - Parents' Personal use only
Gender Matters: Handout 2 - Use during chapter three discussions
Worldview : Handout 3 - Any chapter discussion 
Giving Mixed Messages: Handout 4 - Parents' Personal Use only.
Gotta Have it : Handout 5 - Chapter two - Materialism discussions.
Group Think : Handout 6 - Chapter Two - Peer pressure discussions.
Assessing Rape Tolerance: Handout 7 - Chapter Four discussions about Rape.
Building My Pyramid: Handout 8-  Chapter Two in workbooks already  
Cat In Cradle: Handout 9 - Personal Reflection
Attitude about Marriage?:  Handout 10 - Chapter 7 discussions.
Divorce Tolerance: Handout 11 - Chapter 7 discussions.
Parents Primary Educators : Handout 12 - Personal Reflections.
Bible Teaches Parents : Handout 13 - Personal Reflections
Bible teaches teens : Handout 13b -Chapter one discussions; Assign this to teen.
ISMS: Handout 14 - Chapter 10 discussions.
Technology Bites: Handout 15- Chapter two discussions.
Stairway to Heaven: Handout 16 - Conclusion
Abortion Info: Handout 17- Chapter Six discussions