Perseverance

Perseverance 

We have discussed many virtues this past year. Virtuous living draws us out of ourselves and that’s why it is important to keep talking about the ways to arm ourselves (and our children) with virtue. Each virtue is inextricably linked to supporting virtue(s); what an added boost! Virtues that have their fullest effect are practiced/put to work with love. If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1.

All of the above and more applies to this months virtue - perseverance.Perseverance was chosen this month because of the obvious role it played on our Christmas story's main characters!. Consider the perseverance that Mary and Joesph had to draw on while walking the 80 miles plus trip from Nazareth to Bethlehem. Perseverance would also have been necessary for walking another 40 plus miles to Egypt from Bethlehem. That portion of the journey would have held ever more potential for danger and hardship and intrigue.

The trip from Nazareth to Bethlehem - according to different experts would have taken between four or five days when walking at least 18 miles a day! Mary may have had the luxury of riding on the back of a donkey (if they had one) but that animal would have also been pre-loaded with supplies necessary for the two week journey! The donkey would not have been able to provide a cushy seat for Mary - especially considering that she was nine months pregnant!

I vividly recall the discomforts of going camping when eight months pregnant. The camping cots were incredibly uncomfortable. It was nearly impossible to roll over to a different side on a very hard cot with a very large belly. Imagine Mary lying on the cold, hard ground with little rocks digging into her side under that thin blanket. Consider the discomfort when trying to hop up to or down from a donkey! I remember pulling a muscle while simply trying to get out of a canoe that was ground level. Imagine walking roughly twenty miles every day for 5 days straight while nine months pregnant! Was Mary ever afraid of anything during that trip? My own frequent trips to the outhouse during the night compounded my anxieties about things that might go bump in the night. The Israeli nights would have been chilly and dark. Mary and Joseph probably heard all kinds of wild animals growling, creeping and walking nearby. And think of that donkey ride! Yes, it took holy perseverance to make it to Bethlehem - and not because Mary and Joseph were assured of being able to have  a comfortable place to stay upon their arrival! Nope, their extended stay hosted straw, hay, manure and smelly barn animals. Our camping trip discouraged me from planning any future camping campaigns when fully pregnant! Mary didn’t seem discouraged as they set out on the next adventure that took them even further from home and into Egypt while nursing the newborn child. And what about Joseph? He probably asked himself whether the decision to bring Mary along was wise as they bumped along the dirty, hilly roads to Bethlehem. Surely, he worried about the dangers that lurked around them [bandits and bears]. Finding fresh water for Mary, himself, and their donkey - if they had one -  would have been a top concern for Joseph each morning! And the search for firewood (and more water) and fresh meat would have drawn on his personal perseverance! 

And, for many readers, it will take holy perseverance to get through the Christmas/Advent season for reasons that are as complex as family traditions and expectations. So what about perseverance? Why do we all need it?

Normally, we associate perseverance with courage, stamina, and steadfastness when doing something difficult but usually the doing is for ourselves. It’s easier to stay the course when striving to set personal records compared to staying the course when it is filled with unknowns, other people’s expectations, or goals that are not our own. When we get nothing in return for ourselves, personal perseverance is tested more than when we expect to receive a just recompense for a hardship. Perseverance will be expended whenever we experience challenges disaffecting our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing and/or growth.

Earlier, it was mentioned that the virtue of prudence is inextricably linked to perseverance. Let me explain. Most of us would consider it to be highly imprudent to spend time, energy and life savings on finding a Fountain of Youth - and so we don’t do that. Forcing ourselves to experience significant hardships for all the wrong reasons would be a waste of perseverance. It would also be a case of throwing prudence out the window. Good counsel and prudent decision making helps us to avoid experiencing unnecessary hardships; however, even good decision making cannot guarantee that we will only experience positive outcomes. Perseverance will always be needed when bad things happen to any of us.

There is the natural human virtue of perseverance and there is holy perseverance. The former is human-powered and the latter is supported and sustained by divine grace and authentic love. Holy perseverance requires us to work at whatever we do with all our heart, as though we were working for the Lord and not for people.†(Colossians 3:23) This holy perseverance is blessed by the Lord.This perseverance amounts to doing things with strict discipline (perseverance),  not for a crown that is perishable, but for a crown that is imperishable. (1 Corinthians 9:25) St. Catherine of Sienna, Doctor of the Church, teaches the following about perseverance: Holy perseverance is the resolve to serve God in truth. This is our invisible, glorious and holy crown. Holy perseverance is really essential for all of us; we all need it badly. And we can only get it when we are motivated by love. But we cannot get perseverance or love unless our heart and will are stripped of selfish love (for ourselves). Perseverance allows us to know the truth about our own sinfulness. It allows us to know and discern the many graces and gifts we have received from God’s infinite goodness. This knowledge makes us strong and persevering. Perseverance does not allow us to be brought down by the devil’s wickedness and rascally temptations or by the nagging of our selfish frailty or by the world’s flattery or by the difficulties of the rule. No, by the light of most holy faith we would pass through them all with a courageous heart that draws on perseverance. [St. Catherine of Sienna. Magnificat. November 2017. p. 410]

The relationship between love and the specific virtue is circular. The more we love others, the more we will persevere in doing things with strict discipline for the crown that is imperishable. The more that we practice strict discipline, the more we will be able to love others authentically. And that is the Christmas story- and the Easter story. Love came down to earth, not for His sake but for ours. Mary, Joseph and especially Jesus’ perseverance show us the way to Heaven. Holy perseverance invites us to love God more and more and self less and less. St. Catherine of Sienna had it right. We need Perseverance and Love to walk like Jesus; Mary, his mother; Joseph; the Three Kings; the shepherds; and the angels. We will be able to follow the Star of Bethlehem when we practice holy perseverance. What does that path look like for you and me? It’s certainly something to think about this Advent. 

Merry Christmas and may you all have a very blessed New Year.

What’s Going On With Our Men? 

What’s really at stake when men — husbands, fathers, brothers, cousins, sons, and neighbors —  objectify women through sexual misconduct? Why do they do this? While mainstream America seems to have concluded that personal power corrupted these men’s hearts, we are free to question that conclusion. After all, men who have absolutely no power with regard to personal position, wealth, influence, personality, or accomplishments also have been accused of objectifying women in the same manner. Let’s talk about the real reasons and consequences.

If power is not the sole corrupter of our hearts, what is? I believe men — (and women) — rich or poor — act with diminished human dignity when they actually lack personal power. Not the kind of power that we tend to associate with influence, authority, money, or popularity. Rather the kind of power that allows one to treat others well because that’s how they wish to be treated. This is also known as the Golden Rule which basically summarizes God’s commandments four through ten. The Golden Rule necessarily acknowledges that the treatment of others hinges on how well we obey commandments one through three. These first three commandments teach us to love God with our whole heart, mind and soul and then directs us how to love our neighbors in the next seven commandments. We can’t get the first three commandments right if we don’t get the last seven right; it’s also true, that we won’t get the last seven commandments right if we fail to obediently love God first and foremost. The Golden Rule is foundational to our interior strength/power. 

Authentic power/strength is the sum total of one’s personal integrity, virtue, Faith, authentic love of God and more. This interior disposition invites us to treat others with the greatest dignity and respect. This interior strength keeps our hearts, body, mind and soul in sync with God’s moral authority and vice versa. This strength mostly rests outside of ourselves; it is not self made compared to the personal power associated with acquisition of money, position, influence, popularity, or accomplishment. Therefore, authentic power is not afraid of putting others’ interests ahead of self interests. Interior power does not diminish with time; Divine Grace advances it for a lifetime and beyond. Authentic power reins in the temptations associated with selfishness including arrogance, the objectification of others, dishonesty, pride, etc. 

The recent sexual misconduct scandals reveal just how little power the accused men actually had. Few of them could keep their own jobs despite current and past successes. Ultimately, they had no control over the women who decided to out their bad behavior regardless of the personal consequences. They also lacked prudence, temperance, justice, and self control because their own bad choices, decisions and habits had morphed into their own enslavement to personal addictions, immoral lifestyles, loss of faith, and self-justification. Their personal freedom to choose and act well were compromised. In other words they enslaved themselves to their own desires. 

The seriousness of these scandals ought to prompt a national discussion with regard to the cause and the cures. The scandals argue against the philosophy that men and women will naturally choose good over wrongdoing in most cases! (The Enlightenment Philosophy) But how can a person choose good and avoid evil if they are not taught what is right and wrong and hold those things to be true? Over the last several decades, moral relativism which argues against right or wrong for everyone has expanded its reach to all walks of life. Hopefully these scandals will wake us up to its impact. Yes, there is right and wrong, and yes, we can identify it as did the recent victims.

Society also seems accepting of the mantra: lets let boys be boys without actually clarifying what that means. When said with a wink and a nod, the mixed message seems problematic at best. And the underlying message apparently give boys (and men) unspoken permission to use love to get sex. Conversely, it also gives an unspoken permission to girls to use sex to get love. Unfortunately, we have granted both genders an unqualified permission to use other people for their own selfish interests. That is the very definition of objectification of another human being. While we can use things, we must never learn to use people. 

Modern day drama proves all too often that too many couples traded long term happiness in for short term pleasures creating a crises among families, children, and parents. Pornography use plays a heavy role in this hurtful drama which in the long run disaffects families much like any other catastrophe. Pornography is more addictive than some opioids (another tsunami hitting families); it is one of the main causes of divorce; it is readily available at younger and younger ages warping ideas about happiness and relationships; it alters the male brain chemistries changing the way men relate to women; the industry enslaves women in various ways to demeaning lifestyles; and it persuades young girls of the need to dress and act like porn stars they observe on the Big Screens. How did it get to be such a big industry unless it had significant, silent approval? 

Let us pray for the courage to argue for the cures and against the causes with conviction, love and mercy. Let us answer truthfully  when challenged by the Who Are You To Judge questions? In fact, Dr. Edward Sri, author of the book of the same title,  suggests countering with this: “So, basically I hear you asking me not to judge others even as you are now judging me to be judgmental…” We have to work to restore God’s moral code which is black and white with regard to moral right and wrong. 

The accusers — while sharing some things in common and many things probably not in common — arrived at the same conclusion. The perpetrators wronged them! The women felt horribly violated and for good reason. They spoke with credibility. Like these brave souls, may all of us speak with moral authority about the causes and the cures of the many ills hitting this nation for the sake of our men, our neighbors, our brothers and husbands, our fathers and our co-workers and our families. Let us speak out in truth about love and life; mercy; and the real purpose and meaning of marriage and sexuality this Advent & Christmas Season. 

May you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year.