Parents of Married Sons and Daughters
I have been mulling this matter over for years and decided to blog about being a parent of married kids. Perhaps it will serve as a help for some of you who are about to become parents of married sons or daughters.
When our sons and daughters reside at home, we know them and they know us – or at least that’s how it should be. When they go off to college, this relationship can get strained for a number of reasons – one being that the attached parent can’t let go. These types of parents are known as helicopter parents and they continue to hover and protect long after having lost “control” over what their son or daughter is doing. Sometimes the offspring rebel against this hovering; other times the “kids” put up with it, and still other parents learn to detach appropriately over time.
I have found it difficult to detach for a few reasons. The primary one being that I practiced attachment parenting when the kids needed it most – so that seems commendable right? But caution because I believe it makes it more difficult eventually to detach properly from our adult kids. Attachment parenting creates a very close emotional bond between mother and child allowing them to eventually become secure and independent. That process invites our teens to naturally stretch that bond as they explore the bigger world that is inviting and enticing. On the other hand, the attachment parents tend to stay in the attachment mode for years after their kids reach young adulthood because we are programmed to protect, insulate, and nurture out own – even when it becomes imperative to learn to detach.
After all the kids are no longer just our kids… they eventually become someone’s husband or wife and their own kids’ parents. And then the sons and daughters marry and that new unit develops its own personality, likes, dislikes, and vision. So what do older parents do with their family vision that may or may not be in sync with their newlyweds’ visions? Throw them out, discard them? Is that why so many older parents seem to chuck the family thing and move far away to Florida or Arizona? Is it easier to be far away than to stay close to kids who don’t want a close, emotional bond with their parents? How do we parent these new parents? How do we detach without appearing cold and reserved? How do they detach without dishonoring the fourth commandment?
And what can be done when our older kids marry and chose to “favor” the other set of family over our own? After talking to many families over the years, I have to conclude that nearly every family has to deal with this additional problem.
I would recommend the following to young people and older parents.
1. First and foremost, recognize that we must share our kids with the world and others - and we need to teach our kids to balance these relationships out fairly as well. Secondly we must teach our kids to continue to be considerate of us – and others – even long after they no longer “need us” in a fair and just manner that honors the fourth commandment .
2. Sit down and have a pow-wow about each others’ expectations- yours and theirs - long before the wedding.
3. After grandkids are born, find out your kids’ expectations of you as grandparent.
4. Finally, recognize that even after having these discussions, the “best laid plans of mice and men” can still get muddled so always try and communicate openly and plainly.
5. We can’t – and shouldn’t want to - buy our adult kids’ affection, connections, and interests.
6. Let go even when detachment is difficult. Recognize that it is just one more step we will all need to take in order to be able to leave our earthly life behind willingly in order to embrace a permanent attachment that will be authentic, heavenly and grace-filled. One that will never more be marred by miscommunication, hurts, favoritism, rejection, or other human mistakes.
7. Offer up any hurt that comes from detaching from our kids.
I will write more about this subject in the months and weeks ahead.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Inviting You to Help us Help Today's Parents of Teens
Nearly every adult has at least some worries/concerns about today’s teens– especially in the area of sexuality, and drug or alcohol abuse. The evidence suggests that many adult influencers have simply not been effective in helping teens counter today’s social temptations - and for a number of reasons. Consequently, teens have unprecedented incidence of unplanned pregnancies, suicide, sexually transmitted infections, and abortions. We believe we can help parents and families within parishes who share these same concerns.
Please allow me to introduce myself, our company and its works. I am Linda Kracht and founder of Fortifying Families of Faith; our mission is to help strengthen families, marriages, and parents. We believe that parents are the key to forming their teens in areas of faith, virtues (specifically chastity, self-control, temperance, and perseverance, morals and lifestyles, but these keys include consistency, staying involved, perceived as trustworthy, and staying committed. We can help fortify parents for this task.
Fortifying Families of Faith has produced a unique sexuality/health curriculum which invites parents to become active and committed partners in the formation of their teens in these areas. (Daughters Forever, Sons Forever (Hijas Para Siempre, Hijos Para Siempre) curriculum has been granted the Nihil Obstat & Imprimatur by Archbishop John C. Neinstadt). This past year, we held seminars for over 150 parents of teens in several parishes in the Archdiocese – in both English and Spanish. The positive feedback was reward enough for us - I and Viviana Sotro - but it made us realize that we need to put on more seminars in different locations and more frequently.
One glaring problem remains an obstacle to the success of this program; this is perhaps where you can help. Many attending parents – especially the Hispanic families – need financial assistance to pay the tuition for these events. Fortifying Families of Faith is accepting donations so this obstacle goes away.
I would like to tell you about how one parent was affected by attending the conference presented in Spanish to Hispanic families. Soon after attending the conference, this mother’s teen daughter was scheduled for a physical exam at their medical clinic. The mother was informed that the doctor intended to give the daughter the HPV vaccination. The mother objected to the vaccination after reading about it in Hijas Para Siempre, Hijos Para Siempre . Learning of the mother’s objections, the doctor gave reasons why the daughter should receive the vaccine. The mother listened politely but restated her opposition after staying unconvinced by the clinical sales pitch. Upon showing our book to the doctor, the mother was admonished for believing anything published in “religiously-based books”. The mother stood her ground forcing the physician to admit to several points offered in our book. We consider the mother’s stance a win - without the book/seminar, the mother would not have had the opportunity to know about the counterpoints against the Gardasil vaccination program. Given facts from both viewpoints, the mother was able to come to her own conclusion with regard to allowing – or not - the administration of this vaccine to her teen. We want all parents to have the chance to be fortified - especially in areas they feel lacking - so they can effectively parent given today's social influences on their teens.
Fortifying Families of Faith hopes to raise $12,000 for 2011-2012 school year so that we can offer free tuition or tuition assistance to over 100 families. Please help us help parents; can you help us with this effort by sending us a donation of $100 or $1000?. Thank you most sincerely for any assistance you can provide.
Please allow me to introduce myself, our company and its works. I am Linda Kracht and founder of Fortifying Families of Faith; our mission is to help strengthen families, marriages, and parents. We believe that parents are the key to forming their teens in areas of faith, virtues (specifically chastity, self-control, temperance, and perseverance, morals and lifestyles, but these keys include consistency, staying involved, perceived as trustworthy, and staying committed. We can help fortify parents for this task.
Fortifying Families of Faith has produced a unique sexuality/health curriculum which invites parents to become active and committed partners in the formation of their teens in these areas. (Daughters Forever, Sons Forever (Hijas Para Siempre, Hijos Para Siempre) curriculum has been granted the Nihil Obstat & Imprimatur by Archbishop John C. Neinstadt). This past year, we held seminars for over 150 parents of teens in several parishes in the Archdiocese – in both English and Spanish. The positive feedback was reward enough for us - I and Viviana Sotro - but it made us realize that we need to put on more seminars in different locations and more frequently.
One glaring problem remains an obstacle to the success of this program; this is perhaps where you can help. Many attending parents – especially the Hispanic families – need financial assistance to pay the tuition for these events. Fortifying Families of Faith is accepting donations so this obstacle goes away.
I would like to tell you about how one parent was affected by attending the conference presented in Spanish to Hispanic families. Soon after attending the conference, this mother’s teen daughter was scheduled for a physical exam at their medical clinic. The mother was informed that the doctor intended to give the daughter the HPV vaccination. The mother objected to the vaccination after reading about it in Hijas Para Siempre, Hijos Para Siempre . Learning of the mother’s objections, the doctor gave reasons why the daughter should receive the vaccine. The mother listened politely but restated her opposition after staying unconvinced by the clinical sales pitch. Upon showing our book to the doctor, the mother was admonished for believing anything published in “religiously-based books”. The mother stood her ground forcing the physician to admit to several points offered in our book. We consider the mother’s stance a win - without the book/seminar, the mother would not have had the opportunity to know about the counterpoints against the Gardasil vaccination program. Given facts from both viewpoints, the mother was able to come to her own conclusion with regard to allowing – or not - the administration of this vaccine to her teen. We want all parents to have the chance to be fortified - especially in areas they feel lacking - so they can effectively parent given today's social influences on their teens.
Fortifying Families of Faith hopes to raise $12,000 for 2011-2012 school year so that we can offer free tuition or tuition assistance to over 100 families. Please help us help parents; can you help us with this effort by sending us a donation of $100 or $1000?. Thank you most sincerely for any assistance you can provide.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
breast milk - may provide clues about potential cancer risk
Recently a group of researchers announced that breast milk may itself provide clues about a woman's risk for getting breast cancer. Certain cancer-indicator proteins were found in lactating mothers' breast milk - and their presence predicted the womens' breast cancer risk - albeit the study was a small group but it had encouraging results. Previously, any detectable cancer cells have only been found using invasive procedures (biopsies, etc) . Scientists wonder if the study will be helpful in advancing the early detections of breast cancer in a very non-invasive way - analyzing samples of the lactating mother's breast milk.
This study makes me wonder whether these findings may even help assess/prevent the detection of a new offsprings' long-terms cancer risks - those long after the baby is done breastfeeding. Also, will the presence or absence of the protein help prevent or advance the new baby's risk for breast cancer?
Breast milk has been found to be immensely rich in many vital nutrients and ingredients; these advance health, wellbeing, and growth in breastfeeding babies. Sadly most of these "hidden" advantages are devoid in manufactured formula products. Researchers are just beginning to see - for example- that ingesting breast milk as a baby that is naturally high in cholesterols helps reduce potential cholesterol-related diseases later in life! Similarly, I wonder if ingesting cancer-related proteins increase or decrease a breastfed baby's future cancer risks? Or does it only indicate a lactating mother's risks? . An open question but ripe for further study.
Don't you find it ironic how science has advanced our lives in so many ways while also curtailing our fuller appreciation for the natural interconnectedness between body, mind, and soul? How has it come to be that any of us fail to appreciate breast milk for its life saving capacity? Isn't it odd that we have to study breast milk first in order to prove its worth - but even then we fail to insist that it's a baby's right to breastfeed? When will we appreciate the fact that if God made it that way it really can't be improved upon? This can be said about other body/mind/soul connections as well.
On a different note: last Sunday's Gospel talked about the greatest proof offered by God with regard to His authentic love for each of us. That proof was provided to us by His ready acceptance of being subjugated to an earthly body that had to suffer and die a very unhumane death - and simply for our good not His! It must have been a very great insult to have to take on the form of a lower being (human) while having to suffer and die a bandit's death! Yet it wasn't regarded by Him an insult simply because it proved His great love for us.
Similarly, taking on the form of pregnancy is a great insult as well. With pregnancy we take on a form that is difficult to cope with- pregnant moms don't particularly like their body shape, their lack of sleep, weight gain, and waddling gait when pregnant.
Yet it isn't a great insult at all! In fact, pregnant mothers have the opportunity to show the world that they are imitating Christ's Great Insult which provides the tangible and only real proof of unconditional love! We are willing to accept this insult for the greater good of someone else. It also provides proof of our love and belief in God's order of creation. Looked at solely through the lens of physical health and well being of a woman, pregnancy is indeed an insult to her being. Yet, this same insult provides her the unique opportunity to be transformed in a way not possible another way. She sustains the pregnancy out of unconditional love for God, husband, self, and the newly formed human life growing within her. Like Christ's transformation; pregnancy has the potential to transform us into a more loving, more humane person.
Abortion is proof positive that the pregnancy can be viewed as simply an insult that does not have to be born - it is also proof positive that humans continue to deny the connectedness between body, mind and soul or appreciation of authentic love! It is proof positive that Christ's freely given love is often rejected - that is the great insult.
Hope your Easter is Blessed and Grace-filled.
This study makes me wonder whether these findings may even help assess/prevent the detection of a new offsprings' long-terms cancer risks - those long after the baby is done breastfeeding. Also, will the presence or absence of the protein help prevent or advance the new baby's risk for breast cancer?
Breast milk has been found to be immensely rich in many vital nutrients and ingredients; these advance health, wellbeing, and growth in breastfeeding babies. Sadly most of these "hidden" advantages are devoid in manufactured formula products. Researchers are just beginning to see - for example- that ingesting breast milk as a baby that is naturally high in cholesterols helps reduce potential cholesterol-related diseases later in life! Similarly, I wonder if ingesting cancer-related proteins increase or decrease a breastfed baby's future cancer risks? Or does it only indicate a lactating mother's risks? . An open question but ripe for further study.
Don't you find it ironic how science has advanced our lives in so many ways while also curtailing our fuller appreciation for the natural interconnectedness between body, mind, and soul? How has it come to be that any of us fail to appreciate breast milk for its life saving capacity? Isn't it odd that we have to study breast milk first in order to prove its worth - but even then we fail to insist that it's a baby's right to breastfeed? When will we appreciate the fact that if God made it that way it really can't be improved upon? This can be said about other body/mind/soul connections as well.
On a different note: last Sunday's Gospel talked about the greatest proof offered by God with regard to His authentic love for each of us. That proof was provided to us by His ready acceptance of being subjugated to an earthly body that had to suffer and die a very unhumane death - and simply for our good not His! It must have been a very great insult to have to take on the form of a lower being (human) while having to suffer and die a bandit's death! Yet it wasn't regarded by Him an insult simply because it proved His great love for us.
Similarly, taking on the form of pregnancy is a great insult as well. With pregnancy we take on a form that is difficult to cope with- pregnant moms don't particularly like their body shape, their lack of sleep, weight gain, and waddling gait when pregnant.
Yet it isn't a great insult at all! In fact, pregnant mothers have the opportunity to show the world that they are imitating Christ's Great Insult which provides the tangible and only real proof of unconditional love! We are willing to accept this insult for the greater good of someone else. It also provides proof of our love and belief in God's order of creation. Looked at solely through the lens of physical health and well being of a woman, pregnancy is indeed an insult to her being. Yet, this same insult provides her the unique opportunity to be transformed in a way not possible another way. She sustains the pregnancy out of unconditional love for God, husband, self, and the newly formed human life growing within her. Like Christ's transformation; pregnancy has the potential to transform us into a more loving, more humane person.
Abortion is proof positive that the pregnancy can be viewed as simply an insult that does not have to be born - it is also proof positive that humans continue to deny the connectedness between body, mind and soul or appreciation of authentic love! It is proof positive that Christ's freely given love is often rejected - that is the great insult.
Hope your Easter is Blessed and Grace-filled.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Growing Up
Today was a milestone for our youngest child - but a milestone Kyra failed to fully appreciate like most of us when we were growing up. Bear with me while I describe the entire story. Any mother with daughters knows that one day sooner than we hope our daughter will mature into a young woman. This means she will begin to have hair and breast development. The final sign of having reached sexual maturity is the Menarche - it is so significant it has been assigned a medical term! Menarche is the first period. This first show comes with the need to present concrete explanations for why blood in her underwear is a healthy sign. Up to now, everything about blood was connected to pain, trauma, injury, hurts, owies, and problems. Menarche also entails having to explain in more detail how babies are made - or at least we should be trying to have these discussions. That's the beauty of having daughters. Unfortunately, our sons don't have this definitive day of demarcation in which we know they have reached sexual maturity! Few of our boys will blurt out the fact that they had a "wet dream". So for boys this process has to be dealt with in a different manner; unfortunately, too many boys grow up without having any talk at all! But that is for another blog. We have been describing to Kyra what it will mean to have reached sexual maturity in far less explicit terms - but she knows that her body is changing! She said one day that she didn't want to wear a bra anymore and that she didn't want to grow breasts - she liked them just the way they were. We can all relate to her musings in some way can't we! I had also forewarned her of the menarche but that went over her head - futureistic is way too complex of a thought expecially when it seemed like a big negative rather than a positive! The obscurity of growing up and having periods was just something for another era! So her famous line was blurted out: "Don't worry about it Mom!" This is her line when she seems to detect some anxiety on my part. And of course I worry more about her growing up than our other daughters in part due to her special needs. Some day it may sink in that I really don't have to worry about her! And I have to remind myself that ovulatory cycles - even for her - are necessary for bone development, heart health, uterine health, and the whole body wellness. After all, she is still a female and that's the way we are designed - to have periodic fertility cycles. Absence of periodic cycles - or no menarche ever- is not a good thing for female bodies. Today, Kyra came home from school and said: "Mom, I have some bad news!" Oh- oh went my heart! Thinking it was about school, I was totally unprepared for her next statement. She bluntly said: "Mom I have blood in my underwear!" So I asked to see it and sure enough - Menarche. So I hugged her and congratulated her on becoming a young woman! I also said that now we can get her ears pierced - that has been the family tradition! I think its a good one! It offers a positive reward for what can seem like a big negative! She liked the latter suggestion but didn't like the sounds of being a young woman or of having monthy episodes like this! She also didn't like to hear that it might last 3 - 5 days! To protest the big day she cried out: "But I don't want to grow up! I don't like this blood." She also doesn't like the scratchy, bulky feeling of the feminine napkins and the dripping of the blood. I know that because she kept complaining about it through supper, before bed, upon waking this morning, and other times. This is much to the disgust of older brother Patrick who had some not to nice of comments to her and me about the whole affair! Her complaints make me appreciate menopause all over again! And like her, there are many days when I don't really want to grow up! Out of context, my mother just passed away! But it's nice to know that now she has finally grown up fully! May she rest in peace.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
novena request
On December 8, 2010, the Church declared the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help a Marian Shrine. Located in Champion, WI, the shrine rests on the site of the first and only approved apparition in the US by the Church. The incredible history of Sister Adele and the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help can be found at http://shrineofourladyofgoodhelp.com.
We would like to ask you to pray with us a Novena beginning February 9, 2011; the Novena will ask Our Lady’s intercession for the creation of the Culture of Life Institute within the St. Paul-Mpls metro area. The novena will conclude on October 9, 2011, the anniversary of the apparition. We will gather at the Shrine on Sunday October 9, 2011, the conclusion of the Novena and you are most welcome to join us. After the completion of the Novena, we hope to be called to create this Institute.
Please let us know if you plan on praying this Novena with us. (Please use the attached Novena)
The Institute was conceived after realizing that our youngest daughter, Kyra Therese and all other Special Needs Children, are still unable to receive a quality, Catholic education in most dioceses.
This Culture of Life Institute would like to change that by providing a center that offers managed, individualized instruction for any child – regardless of abilities. It would also provide quality senior care and housing for the elderly. They, in turn, would be asked to stay actively involved and committed to the business of the Institute according to their talents and abilities. The Institute would offer protection and support for expectant single women. Finally, this Catholic Community Center would address the social, physical, spiritual needs of the greater Catholic community. The Institute will be a Center for the New Evangelization as called for by Pope Benedict XVl. We will “Not Be Afraid” to help those most vulnerable and lacking or to provide much needed spiritual, physical, and social supports. Our mission will be to answer the question posed by Our Lady to Sister Adele, “what are you doing here in idleness while your companions are working in the vineyard of my Son?’"
We have chosen Our Lady of Good Help, because Sister Adele understood the frustrations of living with a handicap/disability. An accident caused Sister Adele to be blinded in one eye. Despite this handicap, she started a school/convent for the poor children of her community without having initial support. Eventually her efforts created the Sisters of the Chapel of Our Lady of Good Help, a tertiary secular community whose members adopted simple religious garb, took no permanent vows, retained property and independence, and were free to leave. Their primary goal: provide the parochial education for the poor and needy. These members stood in testament to the church’s teaching that religious education of youth is a primary function and duty of the family and an orderly Christian society.
The US Catholic Bishops exhorted (a decree from the First Plenary Council of Baltimore, November 21, 1851) schools that “no parish is complete until it has schools adequate to the needs of its children.” Furthermore, the US Bishops instructed in 2007 that “the moral strength of a society is measured by how we treat our most vulnerable citizens.” How well are we faithfully working to complete this instruction? Please pray with us.
O QUEEN OF HEAVEN AND EARTH, Most Holy Virgin, we venerate thee. Thou art the beloved Daughter of the Most High God, the chosen Mother of the Incarnate Word, the Immaculate Spouse of the Holy Spirit, the Sacred Vessel of the Most Holy Trinity.O Mother of the Divine Redeemer, who under the title of Our Lady of Good Remedy comes to the aid of all who call upon thee, extend thy maternal protection to us. We depend on thee, Dear Mother, as helpless and needy children depend on a tender and caring mother.
Hail, Mary....
O LADY OF GOOD REMEDY, source of unfailing help, grant that we may draw from thy treasury of graces in our time of need.Touch the hearts of sinners, that they may seek reconciliation and forgiveness. Bring comfort to the afflicted and the lonely; help the poor and the hopeless; aid the sick and the suffering. May they be healed in body and strengthened in spirit to endure their sufferings with patient resignation and Christian fortitude.
Hail, Mary....
DEAR LADY OF GOOD REMEDY, source of unfailing help, thy compassionate heart knows a remedy for every affliction and misery we encounter in life. Help me with thy prayers and intercession to find a remedy for my problems and needs, especially for... (Indicate your special intentions here).On my part, O loving Mother, I pledge myself to a more intensely Christian lifestyle, to a more careful observance of the laws of God, to be more conscientious in fulfilling the obligations of my state in life, and to strive to be a source of healing in this broken world of ours.Dear Lady of Good Remedy, be ever present to me, and through thy intercession, may I enjoy health of body and peace of mind, and grow stronger in the faith and in the love of thy Son, Jesus.
Hail, Mary.....
V. Pray for us, O Holy Mother of Good Remedy,R. That we may deepen our dedication to thy Son, and make the world alive with His Spirit.
In 1198, St. John of Matha founded the Trinitarians to buy Christian slaves from slave markets in order to set them free; this needed large sums of money. The Trinitarians placed their needs under the patronage of Mary. Over the centuries, the Trinitarians were able to free thousands of people and return them home safely. In gratitude for Mary’s miraculous assistance, St. John of Matha honored her with the title of "Our Lady of Good Remedy." The Church celebrates her feast day on October 8. Our Lady of Good Remedy is often depicted as the Virgin Mary handing a bag of money to St. John of Matha.
We would like to ask you to pray with us a Novena beginning February 9, 2011; the Novena will ask Our Lady’s intercession for the creation of the Culture of Life Institute within the St. Paul-Mpls metro area. The novena will conclude on October 9, 2011, the anniversary of the apparition. We will gather at the Shrine on Sunday October 9, 2011, the conclusion of the Novena and you are most welcome to join us. After the completion of the Novena, we hope to be called to create this Institute.
Please let us know if you plan on praying this Novena with us. (Please use the attached Novena)
The Institute was conceived after realizing that our youngest daughter, Kyra Therese and all other Special Needs Children, are still unable to receive a quality, Catholic education in most dioceses.
This Culture of Life Institute would like to change that by providing a center that offers managed, individualized instruction for any child – regardless of abilities. It would also provide quality senior care and housing for the elderly. They, in turn, would be asked to stay actively involved and committed to the business of the Institute according to their talents and abilities. The Institute would offer protection and support for expectant single women. Finally, this Catholic Community Center would address the social, physical, spiritual needs of the greater Catholic community. The Institute will be a Center for the New Evangelization as called for by Pope Benedict XVl. We will “Not Be Afraid” to help those most vulnerable and lacking or to provide much needed spiritual, physical, and social supports. Our mission will be to answer the question posed by Our Lady to Sister Adele, “what are you doing here in idleness while your companions are working in the vineyard of my Son?’"
We have chosen Our Lady of Good Help, because Sister Adele understood the frustrations of living with a handicap/disability. An accident caused Sister Adele to be blinded in one eye. Despite this handicap, she started a school/convent for the poor children of her community without having initial support. Eventually her efforts created the Sisters of the Chapel of Our Lady of Good Help, a tertiary secular community whose members adopted simple religious garb, took no permanent vows, retained property and independence, and were free to leave. Their primary goal: provide the parochial education for the poor and needy. These members stood in testament to the church’s teaching that religious education of youth is a primary function and duty of the family and an orderly Christian society.
The US Catholic Bishops exhorted (a decree from the First Plenary Council of Baltimore, November 21, 1851) schools that “no parish is complete until it has schools adequate to the needs of its children.” Furthermore, the US Bishops instructed in 2007 that “the moral strength of a society is measured by how we treat our most vulnerable citizens.” How well are we faithfully working to complete this instruction? Please pray with us.
O QUEEN OF HEAVEN AND EARTH, Most Holy Virgin, we venerate thee. Thou art the beloved Daughter of the Most High God, the chosen Mother of the Incarnate Word, the Immaculate Spouse of the Holy Spirit, the Sacred Vessel of the Most Holy Trinity.O Mother of the Divine Redeemer, who under the title of Our Lady of Good Remedy comes to the aid of all who call upon thee, extend thy maternal protection to us. We depend on thee, Dear Mother, as helpless and needy children depend on a tender and caring mother.
Hail, Mary....
O LADY OF GOOD REMEDY, source of unfailing help, grant that we may draw from thy treasury of graces in our time of need.Touch the hearts of sinners, that they may seek reconciliation and forgiveness. Bring comfort to the afflicted and the lonely; help the poor and the hopeless; aid the sick and the suffering. May they be healed in body and strengthened in spirit to endure their sufferings with patient resignation and Christian fortitude.
Hail, Mary....
DEAR LADY OF GOOD REMEDY, source of unfailing help, thy compassionate heart knows a remedy for every affliction and misery we encounter in life. Help me with thy prayers and intercession to find a remedy for my problems and needs, especially for... (Indicate your special intentions here).On my part, O loving Mother, I pledge myself to a more intensely Christian lifestyle, to a more careful observance of the laws of God, to be more conscientious in fulfilling the obligations of my state in life, and to strive to be a source of healing in this broken world of ours.Dear Lady of Good Remedy, be ever present to me, and through thy intercession, may I enjoy health of body and peace of mind, and grow stronger in the faith and in the love of thy Son, Jesus.
Hail, Mary.....
V. Pray for us, O Holy Mother of Good Remedy,R. That we may deepen our dedication to thy Son, and make the world alive with His Spirit.
In 1198, St. John of Matha founded the Trinitarians to buy Christian slaves from slave markets in order to set them free; this needed large sums of money. The Trinitarians placed their needs under the patronage of Mary. Over the centuries, the Trinitarians were able to free thousands of people and return them home safely. In gratitude for Mary’s miraculous assistance, St. John of Matha honored her with the title of "Our Lady of Good Remedy." The Church celebrates her feast day on October 8. Our Lady of Good Remedy is often depicted as the Virgin Mary handing a bag of money to St. John of Matha.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
What Are We All Waiting For?
What Are We All Waiting For?
Most of us are probably waiting for something to happen or for someone to arrive at any given moment in our everyday lives. Perhaps you are eagerly awaiting the birth of a new baby. Maybe some of you are simply waiting for the arrival of Phase Three; others are hoping for news of a job offer or an improved economy. Many of us are eagerly awaiting the November election during which time we can democratically fire or hire a political candidate. Some of us are waiting at the bedside of our sickly beloveds – hoping for a miracle or a blessed release from further suffering. Some of us had to stand in line today at the slowest checkout lane in a store; others were stuck in traffic jams awaiting a miracle or two in order to get to a meeting on time. Many of our children eagerly look forward to their birthday, the teen years, acceptance into college, or Christmas.
Many of us await the return of a son, daughter, grandparent, sibling, or friend at Thanksgiving.
In other words, we are all waiting! Waiting is an everyday occurrence with varying degrees of anxiety, joyfulness, anticipation or dread. Waiting can be grouped into two general categories: positive, hopeful waitings or irritating, challenging ones. Regardless of the type of wait we are either forced into or have full acceptance of, we are all called to love in and through this waiting – and therein is everyone’s challenge. How well are we waiting? How well are we loving through the wait? How much beauty are we creating through the wait? Conversely, how much bleakness, loss of hope, anger, or lack of faith do we generate through the wait?
Carl Anderson, author of Called To Love, writes that “our bodies are like an artist’s expressive medium; it is not a shapeless raw material but is a work of art waiting to be drawn out of the marble, the colors, or the musical notes. If human freedom were disembodied, it might have more room to play with hypothetical possibilities but it would be unable to create anything beautiful or to share such beauty with the rest of the world.” So waiting serves a purpose- it allows us to be drawn out by God; it can also become a disservice to God’s handiwork if we refuse to cooperate with His slow, patient, formation.
People of faith should have a better understanding that our waiting in lines, for people, for job offers, for anything is merely symbolic of the final wait. In fact, all earthly activities, nature, and dimensions are symbolic of our hoped for destination: Heaven. How well we wait for the smaller things in life may be a pretty accurate reflection of how well we are waiting for the Final Event. The good news is that once we go through the Final Event - we won’t have to wait anymore! The bad news is that the wait for the Final Event is filled with challenging, irritating, mini- waits that partially define who and what we are and how well we have allowed ourselves to be drawn out of marble, out of colors, or musical notes”.
May all of us always remember that God also waits – He waits for our assent to be drawn out by His hand during all of our waiting and during the “whatevers” in life. He waits as we learn to love authentically by His Hand.
God Bless .
Most of us are probably waiting for something to happen or for someone to arrive at any given moment in our everyday lives. Perhaps you are eagerly awaiting the birth of a new baby. Maybe some of you are simply waiting for the arrival of Phase Three; others are hoping for news of a job offer or an improved economy. Many of us are eagerly awaiting the November election during which time we can democratically fire or hire a political candidate. Some of us are waiting at the bedside of our sickly beloveds – hoping for a miracle or a blessed release from further suffering. Some of us had to stand in line today at the slowest checkout lane in a store; others were stuck in traffic jams awaiting a miracle or two in order to get to a meeting on time. Many of our children eagerly look forward to their birthday, the teen years, acceptance into college, or Christmas.
Many of us await the return of a son, daughter, grandparent, sibling, or friend at Thanksgiving.
In other words, we are all waiting! Waiting is an everyday occurrence with varying degrees of anxiety, joyfulness, anticipation or dread. Waiting can be grouped into two general categories: positive, hopeful waitings or irritating, challenging ones. Regardless of the type of wait we are either forced into or have full acceptance of, we are all called to love in and through this waiting – and therein is everyone’s challenge. How well are we waiting? How well are we loving through the wait? How much beauty are we creating through the wait? Conversely, how much bleakness, loss of hope, anger, or lack of faith do we generate through the wait?
Carl Anderson, author of Called To Love, writes that “our bodies are like an artist’s expressive medium; it is not a shapeless raw material but is a work of art waiting to be drawn out of the marble, the colors, or the musical notes. If human freedom were disembodied, it might have more room to play with hypothetical possibilities but it would be unable to create anything beautiful or to share such beauty with the rest of the world.” So waiting serves a purpose- it allows us to be drawn out by God; it can also become a disservice to God’s handiwork if we refuse to cooperate with His slow, patient, formation.
People of faith should have a better understanding that our waiting in lines, for people, for job offers, for anything is merely symbolic of the final wait. In fact, all earthly activities, nature, and dimensions are symbolic of our hoped for destination: Heaven. How well we wait for the smaller things in life may be a pretty accurate reflection of how well we are waiting for the Final Event. The good news is that once we go through the Final Event - we won’t have to wait anymore! The bad news is that the wait for the Final Event is filled with challenging, irritating, mini- waits that partially define who and what we are and how well we have allowed ourselves to be drawn out of marble, out of colors, or musical notes”.
May all of us always remember that God also waits – He waits for our assent to be drawn out by His hand during all of our waiting and during the “whatevers” in life. He waits as we learn to love authentically by His Hand.
God Bless .
Thursday, August 26, 2010
A New Way to Pay for College
We had the opportunity to hear Fr. Tad (he has a much longer first and last name) lecture about IVF and all of its variations at the recent CCL Convention in Green Lake Wisconsin. Fr. Tad is a young, dynamic priest who has garnered a lot of respect for his work, education, and training in moral ethics especially with regard to life issues including end of life, In-Vitro Fertilization, reproductive technologies, and other matters.
Did you know that about 20% of all American babies born today have been "artificially reproduced" via IVF and its sister technologies? All of these efforts disrupt the inherent dignity of giving birth to babies generated "naturally". During IVF procedures, both parents allow themselves to be used in order to "get" a baby - as if it is their inherent right to have/own one. Likewise the newly fertilized human person is manipulated into being which poses far greater dangers to his/her future well being, survival, life and personal dignity. Furthermore, the IVF technologies promote the practice of creating "designer babies"; this was the subject of an earlier blog. Over a half million fertilized eggs still lie "dormant" and frozen in "test tubes" around the US awaiting someone's decision about whether to allow them to be thawed out and implanted in someone's uterus, adopted, used for scientific research, purposes, or discarded.
So how is IVF linked to paying for college? Did you know that Ivy League women are currently targeted by IVF technology - related companies to donate their "fresh, young, superior DNA eggs" to egg banks. These egg banks then use the "donated" eggs for IVF - to create "test tube babies". The term- donated eggs - is completely disingenuous since most egg donors are paid over $5K to $100K for every cycle that they allow themselves to be hormonally "hyper-stimulated"; technologists are then able to harvest multiple eggs/person/cycle in order to produce designer babies for the couples experiencing infertility. Notice, only "superior", Ivy League donors are sought after; companies do not need the average- run of the mill, female attending mid-western colleges! And so everyone's dignity is insulted by the philosophy behind IVF!
While this is a very "common" procedure, there is nothing ethical about it says Fr. Tad. The Catholic Church teaches that every baby has the right to be conceived, protected, carried, and nourished within the body of his/her mother. While there are naturally ethical ways to help infertile couples, IVF is not one of those means.
Did you know that about 20% of all American babies born today have been "artificially reproduced" via IVF and its sister technologies? All of these efforts disrupt the inherent dignity of giving birth to babies generated "naturally". During IVF procedures, both parents allow themselves to be used in order to "get" a baby - as if it is their inherent right to have/own one. Likewise the newly fertilized human person is manipulated into being which poses far greater dangers to his/her future well being, survival, life and personal dignity. Furthermore, the IVF technologies promote the practice of creating "designer babies"; this was the subject of an earlier blog. Over a half million fertilized eggs still lie "dormant" and frozen in "test tubes" around the US awaiting someone's decision about whether to allow them to be thawed out and implanted in someone's uterus, adopted, used for scientific research, purposes, or discarded.
So how is IVF linked to paying for college? Did you know that Ivy League women are currently targeted by IVF technology - related companies to donate their "fresh, young, superior DNA eggs" to egg banks. These egg banks then use the "donated" eggs for IVF - to create "test tube babies". The term- donated eggs - is completely disingenuous since most egg donors are paid over $5K to $100K for every cycle that they allow themselves to be hormonally "hyper-stimulated"; technologists are then able to harvest multiple eggs/person/cycle in order to produce designer babies for the couples experiencing infertility. Notice, only "superior", Ivy League donors are sought after; companies do not need the average- run of the mill, female attending mid-western colleges! And so everyone's dignity is insulted by the philosophy behind IVF!
While this is a very "common" procedure, there is nothing ethical about it says Fr. Tad. The Catholic Church teaches that every baby has the right to be conceived, protected, carried, and nourished within the body of his/her mother. While there are naturally ethical ways to help infertile couples, IVF is not one of those means.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Helicopter Parenting
Several articles have emerged noting increased concerns by “experts” about the negative impact that China’s one child policy may have on future generations, society as a whole, and the children raised by their doting parents. Most Chinese parents comply and/or conform to this governmental decree generating evidence that the statute will have negative psychological and sociological repercussions on that nation sometime down the road. For example, too many parents are fostering “narcissistic” and self centered offspring since they have only one child to “worry over”. China runs the risk of generating populations with severe shortages of females.
Lest America gets too smug about our freedom to be able to have as many children as we wish, it should be noted that most American parents willingly subscribe to the same philosophy that less children is better. And that is even more significant –we willingly take on the emerging problems linked to low birth rates. In fact, most Americans tend to have fewer children than required to replace themselves; we only have a “higher than European or Chinese” birth rate because of the higher birth rates among our new immigrants – legal and illegal. So, it follows that America runs the risk of raising youthful personalities who tend toward narcissism and self centeredness. It also follows that today’s parents may drift toward helicopter parenting – a parenting type that is overly indulgent, worried, involved, controlling, meddling, interfering, and pushy – as they choose to have fewer children to “worry over”.
Schools are beginning to realize this sociological phenomenon as well. Pastors, teachers, and school principals alike complain that too many parents are overly concerned about the popularity of child/ self and not as much concerned about being responsible parents who “effectively” parent. In fact, too many parents readily fit the mold of helicopter parents – they excessively concern themselves over their children’s affairs that measure external performance or affect social “standings” - like grades, test scores, position on the athletic team - rather than spending energy into forming the whole (the character and integrity ) of the child. Unfortunately, the helicopter parent isn’t limited to grade school matters; in fact this type of parenting does not change much even though the offspring mature. These types of parents march in droves to schools – colleges as well as grammar schools - to complain about the difficulty of their student’s courses and corresponding low grades; or they complain when their student sits too long on the bench during athletic events or fails to secure a starting position; some complain when their students failed to secure a top ten position or entrance into the National Honor Society, even though the students failed to rightfully earned these tributes. These same parents are too frequently bamboozled into believing their students’ untruthfulness over teachers’, peers’ or other parents’ truthful complaints and concerns. These types of parents believe that the world revolves around their child. Unfortunately the helicopter parent is able to wield a certain degree of power at different levels; after all, the “squeaky wheel is what gets the grease”. But the power that these parents wield is not respected or respectful of others.
Recently, our parish pastor told me that the problem is so great that someone needs to write a good book about effective parenting – one that exhorts parents to love parenting and how to parent well while admonishing those who fail to parent and/or avoid parenting at all costs.
On the other hand, too many parents are lumped into the helicopter parent category when they express genuine concerns about their student’s grades, performance, or behaviors. We know of a family who expressed legitimate concerns about their son’s lackluster academic performance only to be embarrassed into “letting go”. Two semesters and $40,000 later, the son flunked out of college due to the development of a drug problem. Had the college proffered up the information they had at their fingertips, an earlier intervention or positive solution may have been found. Most parents know their child better than teachers, coaches, and other people; we are frequently the first to sense a problem sooner than in loco parentis adults. In fact, one professor reminds parents that her own “hovering” saved her college son’s life. Nobody else had recognized the symptoms behind his emerging mental illness.
Yes it is true, that all parents need to be their children’s advocates but not at the expense of instilling narcissism or ego-centrism in their own child. While parents should encourage their students to “find their potential” we must always remind our students that their talents are God-given and not self-directed. As in all areas of life, balance is the name of the game. Watching over the infusion of character in all aspects of our kids’ lives including their spiritual, mental, physical, cognitive, emotional, and social life is important. Neglect or unnecessary concerns with regard to only a few developmental areas will result in the ridiculous hovering and over-parenting that is never effective.
Do we all hover at different times? Probably, but it is much easier to hover when we don’t have enough to worry about; conversely it is more difficult to hover when there is plenty to worry about!
Recently one young woman proclaimed to me that few women can effectively parent seven children in today’s world– there is simply too much to worry about. After badgering her for further explanation, she ended up concluding that maybe she needed to research her statement more. But her attitude is so typical of the social indoctrination that has been willingly “adopted” by our modern society which has unnecessarily over-medicalized natural processes including birth, birth regulation, menopause, fertility cycles, etc. It comes in part from modern day sociologists who suggest that motherhood and breastfeeding are just two more ways that allow males to have dominance over females! Or those who suggest that motherhood is so much more difficult today because new mothers are expected to be super heroes who have to go through pregnancy without drinking a drop of liquor, smoking cigarettes, maintaining low weights, have to use car seats for any other kids, all the while trying to break through glass ceilings. These writers forget that previous generations of mothers had to combine pregnancy and mothering efforts with gardening (by necessity), sewing (by necessity), cooking (no eating out for these hard working moms), and no babysitters or nannies for these moms, etc. And they also forget what real life is all about. For example, a recent article quoted Angelina Jolie as saying that having children and sacrificing for them is what has taught her the meaning of authentic love! Sounds to me like she is beginning to get the gist behind theology of the body and the family.
Let me conclude with one final story. Friends of ours have a single daughter – needless to say the mother worries constantly about her young adult more than I have time for with regard to my four adult and three emerging adult children and their spouses and children. By the way, we now have eleven grandchildren and life is busy and fun! One day I asked this mother to “babysit” our two youngest children; sure enough, that was the day Patrick fell down while riding his bike and got a bit “beat up”. This friend called to ask whether she should run Patrick to the emergency room. After asking a few questions, I was satisfied that he would be fine; I also told her we would be home within the hour as planned – needless to say we did not rush home! After arriving home at the expected time, we felt the brunt of her admonishment for being too casual about the whole accident. After all, we did not rush home or allow her to take Patrick to the hospital. She worried that he might have internal bruising or a broken bone. I told her that a broken bone was impossible since he was walking about without crying. I also reminded her we had quite a bit of experience with broken legs. Her look told me clearly that she wasn’t surprised to hear why!
This story paints the gulf that exists between those of us with many kids and varied experiences and those with few of either. It is the classic difference between those who “power parent” vs. “helicopter parent”. Time management theories plainly lead to the conclusion that parents of a large family have less chance of being and/or staying helicopter parents. While we all may overly parent our first several children, the chances that that flaw will linger dwindles as we get busier and busier with four, five, and six children and more. But I offer this advice to parents – all of us need to create balance between real concern and advocacy vs. over parenting or over casualness with regard to the precious ones that God has given us for a little while. And what a blessing they are. Take the time to consider whether your worries about your little ones just are one more sign that God is calling you to make room for one more!
Lest America gets too smug about our freedom to be able to have as many children as we wish, it should be noted that most American parents willingly subscribe to the same philosophy that less children is better. And that is even more significant –we willingly take on the emerging problems linked to low birth rates. In fact, most Americans tend to have fewer children than required to replace themselves; we only have a “higher than European or Chinese” birth rate because of the higher birth rates among our new immigrants – legal and illegal. So, it follows that America runs the risk of raising youthful personalities who tend toward narcissism and self centeredness. It also follows that today’s parents may drift toward helicopter parenting – a parenting type that is overly indulgent, worried, involved, controlling, meddling, interfering, and pushy – as they choose to have fewer children to “worry over”.
Schools are beginning to realize this sociological phenomenon as well. Pastors, teachers, and school principals alike complain that too many parents are overly concerned about the popularity of child/ self and not as much concerned about being responsible parents who “effectively” parent. In fact, too many parents readily fit the mold of helicopter parents – they excessively concern themselves over their children’s affairs that measure external performance or affect social “standings” - like grades, test scores, position on the athletic team - rather than spending energy into forming the whole (the character and integrity ) of the child. Unfortunately, the helicopter parent isn’t limited to grade school matters; in fact this type of parenting does not change much even though the offspring mature. These types of parents march in droves to schools – colleges as well as grammar schools - to complain about the difficulty of their student’s courses and corresponding low grades; or they complain when their student sits too long on the bench during athletic events or fails to secure a starting position; some complain when their students failed to secure a top ten position or entrance into the National Honor Society, even though the students failed to rightfully earned these tributes. These same parents are too frequently bamboozled into believing their students’ untruthfulness over teachers’, peers’ or other parents’ truthful complaints and concerns. These types of parents believe that the world revolves around their child. Unfortunately the helicopter parent is able to wield a certain degree of power at different levels; after all, the “squeaky wheel is what gets the grease”. But the power that these parents wield is not respected or respectful of others.
Recently, our parish pastor told me that the problem is so great that someone needs to write a good book about effective parenting – one that exhorts parents to love parenting and how to parent well while admonishing those who fail to parent and/or avoid parenting at all costs.
On the other hand, too many parents are lumped into the helicopter parent category when they express genuine concerns about their student’s grades, performance, or behaviors. We know of a family who expressed legitimate concerns about their son’s lackluster academic performance only to be embarrassed into “letting go”. Two semesters and $40,000 later, the son flunked out of college due to the development of a drug problem. Had the college proffered up the information they had at their fingertips, an earlier intervention or positive solution may have been found. Most parents know their child better than teachers, coaches, and other people; we are frequently the first to sense a problem sooner than in loco parentis adults. In fact, one professor reminds parents that her own “hovering” saved her college son’s life. Nobody else had recognized the symptoms behind his emerging mental illness.
Yes it is true, that all parents need to be their children’s advocates but not at the expense of instilling narcissism or ego-centrism in their own child. While parents should encourage their students to “find their potential” we must always remind our students that their talents are God-given and not self-directed. As in all areas of life, balance is the name of the game. Watching over the infusion of character in all aspects of our kids’ lives including their spiritual, mental, physical, cognitive, emotional, and social life is important. Neglect or unnecessary concerns with regard to only a few developmental areas will result in the ridiculous hovering and over-parenting that is never effective.
Do we all hover at different times? Probably, but it is much easier to hover when we don’t have enough to worry about; conversely it is more difficult to hover when there is plenty to worry about!
Recently one young woman proclaimed to me that few women can effectively parent seven children in today’s world– there is simply too much to worry about. After badgering her for further explanation, she ended up concluding that maybe she needed to research her statement more. But her attitude is so typical of the social indoctrination that has been willingly “adopted” by our modern society which has unnecessarily over-medicalized natural processes including birth, birth regulation, menopause, fertility cycles, etc. It comes in part from modern day sociologists who suggest that motherhood and breastfeeding are just two more ways that allow males to have dominance over females! Or those who suggest that motherhood is so much more difficult today because new mothers are expected to be super heroes who have to go through pregnancy without drinking a drop of liquor, smoking cigarettes, maintaining low weights, have to use car seats for any other kids, all the while trying to break through glass ceilings. These writers forget that previous generations of mothers had to combine pregnancy and mothering efforts with gardening (by necessity), sewing (by necessity), cooking (no eating out for these hard working moms), and no babysitters or nannies for these moms, etc. And they also forget what real life is all about. For example, a recent article quoted Angelina Jolie as saying that having children and sacrificing for them is what has taught her the meaning of authentic love! Sounds to me like she is beginning to get the gist behind theology of the body and the family.
Let me conclude with one final story. Friends of ours have a single daughter – needless to say the mother worries constantly about her young adult more than I have time for with regard to my four adult and three emerging adult children and their spouses and children. By the way, we now have eleven grandchildren and life is busy and fun! One day I asked this mother to “babysit” our two youngest children; sure enough, that was the day Patrick fell down while riding his bike and got a bit “beat up”. This friend called to ask whether she should run Patrick to the emergency room. After asking a few questions, I was satisfied that he would be fine; I also told her we would be home within the hour as planned – needless to say we did not rush home! After arriving home at the expected time, we felt the brunt of her admonishment for being too casual about the whole accident. After all, we did not rush home or allow her to take Patrick to the hospital. She worried that he might have internal bruising or a broken bone. I told her that a broken bone was impossible since he was walking about without crying. I also reminded her we had quite a bit of experience with broken legs. Her look told me clearly that she wasn’t surprised to hear why!
This story paints the gulf that exists between those of us with many kids and varied experiences and those with few of either. It is the classic difference between those who “power parent” vs. “helicopter parent”. Time management theories plainly lead to the conclusion that parents of a large family have less chance of being and/or staying helicopter parents. While we all may overly parent our first several children, the chances that that flaw will linger dwindles as we get busier and busier with four, five, and six children and more. But I offer this advice to parents – all of us need to create balance between real concern and advocacy vs. over parenting or over casualness with regard to the precious ones that God has given us for a little while. And what a blessing they are. Take the time to consider whether your worries about your little ones just are one more sign that God is calling you to make room for one more!
Image and Likeness
We are all made in the image and likeness of God. This means that we ought to be able to see God's genius in His creation - and so we can with our limited intellect.
For instance the other day, we saw two beautiful full rainbows in the sky- the second one was not merely a reflection of the other. It was its own rainbow but a perfect duplicate copy.
We have had opportunity to witness great compassion in others. This is a taste of God's compassion. We have all been introduced to a person we think of as a genius - again they foreshadow the great genius of the Almighty. We have met people with incredible artistic talents - musical, painters, writers, or others. Again they represent the beauty and artistry of what we will see in Heaven. Then there is the immense universe complete with stars, planets, meteorites, comets, and more. They were put there to remind us of the immensity of God. Other times we glimpse the enormity of suffering. This is to remind us of God's suffering as well when we reject His infinite love.
It isn't a coincidence that all of life is some sort of imagery or reflection of God and His Greatness. Recently we were blessed with two new grandchildren. These new babies really do reflect God's purity and innocence.
If only I could always go through life seeing how all of life is related to God's handiwork.
For instance the other day, we saw two beautiful full rainbows in the sky- the second one was not merely a reflection of the other. It was its own rainbow but a perfect duplicate copy.
We have had opportunity to witness great compassion in others. This is a taste of God's compassion. We have all been introduced to a person we think of as a genius - again they foreshadow the great genius of the Almighty. We have met people with incredible artistic talents - musical, painters, writers, or others. Again they represent the beauty and artistry of what we will see in Heaven. Then there is the immense universe complete with stars, planets, meteorites, comets, and more. They were put there to remind us of the immensity of God. Other times we glimpse the enormity of suffering. This is to remind us of God's suffering as well when we reject His infinite love.
It isn't a coincidence that all of life is some sort of imagery or reflection of God and His Greatness. Recently we were blessed with two new grandchildren. These new babies really do reflect God's purity and innocence.
If only I could always go through life seeing how all of life is related to God's handiwork.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Father's Day Tribute - To Our Real Men
A Real Man sacrifices and works for the common good of his family! But he does far more than that! According to John Walter Wayland, in 1899 a True Gentleman has many great characteristics but he especially upholds honor and virtue. This is Wayland's idea of a real man;
The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of proprietyand whose self-control is equal to all emergencies who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty,the obscure man of his obscurity,or any man of his inferiority or deformity;
who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another;
who does not flatter wealth,cringe before power,or boast of his own possessions or achievements;
who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy;
whose deed follows his word;
who thinks of the rights and feelings of others rather than his own;
and who appears well in any company;
a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.
Thank the real gentleman in your life today!
The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of proprietyand whose self-control is equal to all emergencies who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty,the obscure man of his obscurity,or any man of his inferiority or deformity;
who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another;
who does not flatter wealth,cringe before power,or boast of his own possessions or achievements;
who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy;
whose deed follows his word;
who thinks of the rights and feelings of others rather than his own;
and who appears well in any company;
a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.
Thank the real gentleman in your life today!
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