Fortifying Families of Faith

Theology of the Church

2011-10-26T09:10:00.003-05:00

The following questions were compiled and presented to our "parish teaching committee" of which Dave and I are members. The teaching committee is kind of a sounding board for a persepctive priest named Aaron who is studying Theology at the St. Paul Seminary. He is preparing a paper about the theology of the church and asked for input from the members of the committee. The following are our responses; we thought some of you might be interested in the responses.

What is church?
Dave: The People of God – Christians
Linda: The Church is the result of the successful, apostolic succession instituted by Jesus Christ; He instructed the disciples to “go out into the world” and make disciples of all nations by baptizing them…” Consequently, Church is the fellowship of believers; we are Jesus’ disciples. The Church is to serve mankind’ it is to teach and provide the keys by which we come to know our Lord and Master and culminating in joining Him in Heaven. And to end our journey with God “is the whole purpose of man’s history.” CCC 450

What would make it cease to be church?
Dave: No disciples left in the world.
Linda: Church will cease to be church when it no longer:
1. Promotes the truth about God, Heaven and all of Creation
2. Evangelizes or catechizes others about the Good News
3. Cares for or fails to be the voice for the needy, the poor, unfortunate
4. Teaches others to be amazed by man’s worth and dignity. “The name of this amazement is Gospel or Good News (par 10 of Redemptoris Hominis). In other words, goes along with society’s penchant for trivializing aspects of human life through abortion, infanticide, euthanasia, same sex marriage, divorce, contraception, etc.
5. “Directs man’s gaze, to point the awareness and experience of the whole of humanity towards the mystery of God to make all aware of the profoundity of the Redemption..” Par 11 &12.

What should be the relationship between the pope and bishops?
Dave: Bishops should be obedient to the Pope in faith and morals.
Linda: They should be in full unity with each other. Pope is the head; the spokesman for the universal Church and leader of the college of Bishops. The Bishop is the head, spokesman and leader of the local Church. (diocese)There should be no dissent between the two offices. The Pope and His Bishops must lead the universal and local churches so we are not left like “sheep without a shepherd”. They must be solid, strong, charismatic; they must be the strong, loving, faithful voice of Jesus Himself.

What should be the relationship between the universal church and the local church?
Dave: The local church is to submit to the authority of the universal church.
Linda: They are to be in full unity in matters of faith and morals with each other.

What should ministry look like in the church?
Dave: Serving others.
Linda: It should look like this:
1. Lead people to the truth without adding confusion or personal doubts. The message must be clear, consistent and ordered with the universal Church.
2. Lovingly help people to understand the truth even though the message may be counter-cultural. Help people formulate a Christian Worldview that is necessarily different than a secular worldview.
3. Be faith in action helping those in need.
4. Be bold as it proclaims Christ; must imitate the original enthusiasm of the apostles who stated: “We cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.” CCC 425.

What does it mean that we are a missionary church? How does that look globally? Locally?
Dave: Evangelize others about Jesus Christ regardless whether its’ a global or local effort.
Linda: The Church’s mission is to evangelize first and then to catechize (bring light, truth, understanding) where previously there was none or very little. The missionary effort must “extend the invitation of faith to non believers in order that they enter into the joy of having a communion with Jesus Christ.” CCC 425. This end result differs little whether the efforts are local or global. The means by which they achieve the end result must be culturally pertinent, specific and sensitive. Global missionary work means that we extend this invitation beyond our shores. Local missionary work means that we extend this invitation to those beyond our church doors including those who have left the church.

What is the purpose of the Sacraments in the Church? How do they relate to the “life” of the Church?
Dave: The purposes of the Sacraments are the means to receiving grace (blessings from God) on multiple occasions and continuously (Eucharist, Penance). They are primary to the life of the Church.
Linda: The sacraments were instituted by Christ and the Church is obliged to carry them out for our sake – to receive grace. The Sacraments commission us to become disciples who are faithful to Christ. They help us take the necessary steps between birth and death to reach Heaven. Consequently, they are the important first (baptism and confirmation), second, and final public steps (sacrament of the anointing of the sick) taken by believers that proclaims their belief in God.

What do you think is the vision of local Catholic Church? Namely what is the focus or emphasis with which you think activities, liturgies, and events are planned?
Dave: Vision: provide a School, faithful liturgy. This becomes its focus and emphasis.
Linda: I think the vision is to be a Sacramental Church and this becomes its focus: to provide the sacraments to a whole group of individuals. It is also the urgency to "go out and become active" Disciples of Christ after they receive the sacraments. The church initiates the people well but the follow-up and expectation of living a Christian life after initiation is compromised by competing interests among busy lives. For example: many churches don't have any youth or teen outreach that is solidly ‘gospel based” because youth are so busy -- and then their catechesis lags. . Also, adult catechesis after confirmation is non- existent as well with the exception of occasional Lenten or Advent speakers - again in part due to busy lives.
Many parents think that the local Catholic schools provide the necessary faith and catechesis for students but a recent survey pointed out that protestant schools do a better job of emphasizing faith whereas catholic schools emphasis is generally on academics not faith formation. We need to consider our young people as the mission fields. this proposal targets new parents, parents of teens and parents of college bound students.

Should we try to beat death?

2011-09-20T08:25:00.008-05:00

Imagine if man could devise a way to live "forever". What a dull world it would turn out to be! There would be no rush to bring forth new persons into the world for multiple reasons. New life after all would simply serve to over-populate the planet we live in - people are already complaining about that. It would be a genuine complaint if the old just kept getting younger! Without new life, a staleness would set it. Yet scientists world - wide try to invent body parts that rejuvenate the worn out ones. Attempts to "plasticize" man aren't that far fetched.

Imagine, if man could live for centuries, how boring it would be to repeat the same mistakes time and again without consequence. Today, the pervasive philosophy is you're only young once, so get wild. The mood then seems likely to become: you're forever young, so get wild and stay there.

If man could live for centuries, imagine the lack of need to connect to other people on deep, emotional levels. After all wouldn't looking at the same face for 250 years get old?

If man could live forever, imagine how few - if any - negative consequences would result after saying, doing, thinking that we can live forever.

If man could live forever, imagine how useless God would be. What need would there be for a relationship with God? None, because we would become our own gods - in charge of our own destiny. That - hasn't worked out over the millenia too well - but we are hard headed that's for sure.

I write this on the eve of the funeral of a friend of ours. So even though we can't live forever here on earth - nor should we aspire for that - it sure feels hard to say goodbye once again to someone who was so loved as wife, mother, grandmother and friend. Ii often does seem like the good die too young. So while it's tempting to wish, our friends and family and self would not die and leave us behind, imagine the other possibility. Living forever here on earth sure seems like a worse option indeed to me and without ever meeting God face to face!

So goodbye good friend until we meet again. May God have mercy on your soul; may God bring peace to your family; and may God bring us all into his heavenly blessing.

Birth Control Mandate in HHS Bill Deserves Everyone's Attention

2011-09-07T12:09:00.005-05:00

I am inserting a copy of a commentary entitled: Birth-Control Mandate Puts Religion in a Bind
dated Monday, August 29, 2011-09-02
from the Very Rev. Peter A. Laird Vicar General and Moderator of the Curia.
Star Tribune
"Benefits outweigh birth control costs" (Aug. 1) drew attention to an Institute of Medicine recommendation adopted by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
It requires health care plans to cover contraceptives and sterilizations under regulations for preventive care created in response to the health care reform legislation passed in 2010.
This is a troubling mandate. It raises serious questions not only about the nature of health care and employment, but also about religious freedom and public charity.
For the church, one consequence is that the state seems to have begun to define who our neighbor is and the extent of our mission.
The position of the Catholic Church on artificial birth control is well-known, though not always well-understood. Our teaching is founded in a conviction that every human act is meant to witness to the truth about God and man. Acknowledging that God, our creator, is love and has been revealed to the full in Christ means not only that there is right and wrong but also that we should testify to that truth so that all men and women might be free and come to have life to the full.

The church does not consider unnatural and artificial (my words inserted) birth control a right of health care, much less a good for human flourishing, because pregnancy is not a disease.
Moreover, to suggest that one may, without consequence, use contraception in pursuit of human flourishing is manifestly contradicted by studies such as the one reported by the Guttmacher Institute showing that 54 percent of women who have had abortions have been using birth control.

Birth control promises a life without consequences, but every action has consequences, and often it is women and children who suffer most when we pretend otherwise.
Under the guidelines issued by the Obama administration, only a very narrow exemption from the contraceptive mandate would be permitted for "religious employers."
It would apply only to an organization that has as its purpose the "inculcation of religious values," that primarily employs persons who share the religious tenets of the organization and that serves primarily persons who share those religious tenets.
Thus, organizations such as Catholic universities and hospitals, social-services agencies and Catholic Charities, because they serve people without regard to religious affiliation, would be forced to provide contraceptive and sterilization services.
In other words, we would have to stop being Catholic if we wanted to serve all men and women, as Jesus did. It would also require Catholic organizations to employ only Catholics, which may be at variance with both federal and state discrimination laws.
This extremely narrow exemption substantially differs from existing conscience-clause protections, which protect individual providers from being forced to perform any service that conflicts with their beliefs.
Absent sufficient regard for rights of conscience, the birth control mandate will force all men and women -- and all employers -- to carry health "benefits" that violate the sincerely held religious convictions of many.
If this is not rectified, the vast social-service network of the Catholic Church will be imperiled, and with it not only those who are employed and assist us in our works of mercy, but also those who are served: our neighbors."

Even those who are not Catholic should - in good conscience - protest this mandate for several reasons other than the theological ones outlined by Fr. Laird. First, it's time to shore up everyone's respect for the freedom to practise any religion clause subscribed to by Americans when they pledge allegiance to the flag and the constitution. This means respecting all religions even those of Catholics. failing to come to the defense of Catholics will ultimately mean failing to come to the defense of any Christian religion. Protest by calling your congressmen.

1943 Guide to Hiring Women

2011-08-30T17:09:00.005-05:00

The following exhortations are taken from a copy of Savvy &Sage September/October 2007 which is an excerpt from July 1943 Transportation Magazine. We have all come a long way baby!

"Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees"
1. Pick young married women. They have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, and are less likely to be flirtatious...
2. Try to hire older women who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives ... less likely to be cantankerous and fussy.
3. Husky girls are more even tempered and efficient than underweight sisters.
4. Retain a physician to give each woman special physical examinations. Reveals any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.
5. Stress that a minute or two here or there makes serious inroads on schedules.
6. Give the females a day long schedule of duties so they won't bother management for instructions every few minutes. Women generally lack initiative in finding work for themselves.
7. Change employees schedules during day from one job to another - females are less inclined to be nervous and happier with changes.
8. Give a girl adequate rest periods - You have to make allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidy, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times daily.
9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or making criticisms. Women are often sensitive. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off efficiency.
10. Don't swear around women. She'll grow to dislike the business where she hears too much of this.
11. Get enough sizes of unifrms so girls can have properly fitting uniform. This is important in keeping women happy.

More about Breastfeeding

2011-08-23T16:41:00.003-05:00

All newborns lose weight after birth. Breastfeeding success is often measured by how quickly baby returns to birth weight. Yet some experts question using the birth weight as a litmus test for breastfeeding success. A recent study by Joy Noël Weiss, A Kirsten Woodend, Wendy Peterson, William Gibb and Dianne Groll (15 August 2011 International Breastfeeding Journal) entitled “An observational study of associations among maternal fluids during parturition, neonatal output and breastfed newborn weight loss” conclude that “ The phenomenon of newborn weight loss is complex. They found that maternal IV fluids received prior to birth (during labor) are related to newborn output and their weight loss. Consequently they warn that corrections in fluid balances in these newborns should be considered normal and therefore should not warrant outside interventions; i.e. introduction of formula, etc.
Furthermore they found that the reasons for delayed lactogenesis should be studied further; they found a correlation between late onset of lactogenesis 11 (more than 3 days after birth) was positively related to the total amounts of maternal fluids received from admission to birth. “ Most women (95% of the participants) noted first day of breast fullness however 41% of the women reported having late onset of lactogenesis . These women's babies were observed to have a significant positive correlation between late onset of lactogenesis ll (beyond day 3 reported by 41% of the sample) and percentage of newborn weight loss.

Letting nature take its course is still often the best advice. Over medicalization of birth, labor, and pain contributes to hyper concerns with regard to baby. The result is often early intervention using manufactured formulas which introduces other risks to baby and the breastfeeding success.
These researchers suggest that birth weight should not be the parameter from which clinicians measure success with breastfeeding – rather it should be other observable factors including wet diapers, etc. Finally, the reserachers concluded with this recommendation: do not use birth weight as a measure of breastfeeding success. Rather clinicians should use a 24 hour old weight as one of the parameters to determine whether or not intervention is necessary.
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Did you know that the current administration is very pro- breastfeeding. So much so that Ed Keefe , a Washington Post Staff Writer wrote this on Wednesday, December 22, 2010 :
President Obama is asking federal personnel officials to draft "appropriate workplace accommodations" for federal employees who are nursing mothers. The president issued a memo this week to the Office of Personnel Management asking that the new workplace accommodations be published when ready. The changes are mandated by provisions in the ObamaCare passed this year that require new breastfeeding rights, primarily for hourly workers in the private and public sectors. But Obama asked the federal government to go a step further by establishing new guidelines for all federal employees, no matter their status, according to White House aides. The federal legislation assures that women will not be discriminated against or fired for breastfeeding or pumping breast milk during breaks or lunch. It also provides tax breaks to employers who establish special rooms for breastfeeding mothers or that rent lactation-related equipment.
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The Iowa Independent by Andy Birkey found a detractor of this new policy in Rep Michelle Bachmann. She stated her objections recently. They are:
over promotion of breastfeeding, particularly among black women, to curb obesity; the policy creates a nanny state which makes breast pumps tax deductible along with other over-the-counter medical items such as pain relievers, bandages and contact lens supplies.
How is that related to breastfeeding? Guess they have to be able to see baby's face. Bachmann continued, “I’ve given birth to five babies and I breastfed every single one of these babies. To think that government has to go out and buy my breast pump for my babies. You wanna talk about the nanny state? I think we just got the new definition of a nanny.”
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Finally, on March 30, 2010, "President Barack Obama signed into law Obama Care aka: Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. Did you know that the Act mandates employerswith more than 50 workers to provide a room, not a bathroom, in which the female employee can express breast milk for her child as needed. The female is not obligated to work for or otherwise compensate for the time spent on this task. This can be done until the child is one year old.
While small companies with less than 50 workers are ‘exempt’ so to speak, if they make more than $500,000 per year, they too have to abide by the law. The law also requires that any company that provides medical or nursing care services, schools and government agencies abide by the Act. It requires the provision of a private and clean lactation room for mothers of babies younger than one."

While advocacy for breastfeeding is warranted, I guess the notion that everybody must help pay for every woman's choice to breastfeed is in vogue. This notion is consistent with the administration's belief that all must help pay for women's contraception, abortion services and other " health" issues as well. Hmmmm - thoughts?

Parents of adult children

2011-07-20T17:56:00.002-05:00

Previously, I started a discussion about being a parent of married children - I had hoped for some discussion and comments to begin but failed to generate that so let me try again. Ha.

You know the saying: the apple doesn't fall from the tree - but is that necessarily true when another adage also seems to generally apply as well and that being: "opposite's attract". So where do our kids land when they fall from the tree while being attracted to someone with very opposite upbringing? Which side has the stronger pull and influence? Furthermore, how much "interference" do parents run when seeing their adult children attracted to the someone we don't think is best for their spiritual, physical, emotional, psychological and economic well being?

Recently I was involved in a discussion with several other parents about the cases that involve being estranged from their married children due to conflicts of philosophy over religion, politics and child raising. It is sad to know that many parents are estranged from their own adult children after a marriage occurs and especially when children are involved. I recall my conversation with a lawyer from Michigan who happened to sit beside me on our trip to Hawaii last March. This man - after reading over my shoulder while I edited my Surviving College Book - began to offer information about their situation with his eldest son. The son had married a shrew - according to the lawyer - who had been Sorority President, Physician, and terrible daughter in law who had no feelings for him or his wife. In fact, he blatantly stated that she hated him and his wife and would have nothing to do with them. He offered many examples... It was clear there was a communication breakdown of the worst degree. He and I talked about that situation for quite a while, analyzed some solutions together and came up rather empty handed. I felt bad for him and his wife....

So other parents watching these situations are made to feel afraid to say much of anything influential for fear of having this scenario happen to their family. So they "watch what they say" while ultimately forsaking any influence over the situations.

It's interesting that strangers will call "experts" for advice while avoiding advice from the very persons that lovingly raised them through the teen and college years...

It seems to me that watching what we say is never the answer because in effect we throw away the opportunity to pass on wisdom and life's experiences. And the result may be the same in the long run anyway -- inability to have meaningful relationships so why not take the risk and teach when possible??? Would love your comments.

Marriage Preparation

2011-07-07T10:08:00.003-05:00

Last Sunday I listened to another interesting homily and would like to share that with you all - especially those preparing for marriage or helping prepare others for marriage.

Fr. Mike Schmitz, U of M Duluth told us that when he discusses marriage the primary message he gives to all young people is that marriage (successful and faithful) requires that we transfer our primary allegiance to this new spouse to be and keep it there for the entire lifetime.

This lack of transference helps explain why so many young marriages fail! They fail to transfer their primary allegiance and as a result "fall out of love" as fast as they fall in love. Father Mike went on to say that our spouses need to know that we have their backs so to speak. And also that we both submit to each other out of deference to Christ. This allows us to meet the primary obligation in marriage which is to get each other to heaven.

Over the course of the years we have observed many marriages fail - among friends, co-workers, relatives, etc. And I would have to agree with Father Schmitz that the primary culprit was they failed to transfer their allegiance to their spouse or to keep it there. How many mothers subtlely transfer their allegiance to their young children and lose focus on their marital relationship? Or young fathers? How many working spouses subtlely transer their primary allegiance to their co-workers? I am sure many of you have also read articles that discuss the concept of having an office spouse while maintaining marital spouses. Or maybe our primary allegiance has even transferred to the job itself, to friends, family members, or achievement of goals and success or some other entity.

These tranferences can occur subtlely without having an acute awareness of the change- and so the downslide makes us forget to be there in order to cover our spouse's back.

I liked his reference for the marital yoke to the yoke used for ox - it usually contains two head holds. This so readily represents the marital yoke that does require that we wear ourselves out for the other over the course of our lifetime - but this wearing out should be a joyful process not a dull, monotonous, resentful path forward. Consider the amount of good work that can come about due to this marital yoking - this work can be awesome and glorious when we follow the path set before us by having and maintaining the heavenly vision of marriage, faith, and eternal life in Christ. Or imagine how burdensome this yoke becomes when we yearn to get out from under its weight by transferring our allegiance to someone else or something else.

The Book for All Seasons has allowed me to capture many great homilies; in too many instances in the past I would hear a great homily and loose the essence of it before we even got home from church. Look for the 2012 edition in late fall but it's still not even too late to order this liturgical seasons' copy. Also my new book - Surviving College - discusses marriage preparation for college age students. You might want to order one for your college student, friend or family member. Visit www.fortifyingfamiliesoffaith.com to order online.

Musings of a parent of adult kids

2011-06-30T14:49:00.003-05:00

Parents of Married Sons and Daughters
I have been mulling this matter over for years and decided to blog about being a parent of married kids. Perhaps it will serve as a help for some of you who are about to become parents of married sons or daughters.
When our sons and daughters reside at home, we know them and they know us – or at least that’s how it should be. When they go off to college, this relationship can get strained for a number of reasons – one being that the attached parent can’t let go. These types of parents are known as helicopter parents and they continue to hover and protect long after having lost “control” over what their son or daughter is doing. Sometimes the offspring rebel against this hovering; other times the “kids” put up with it, and still other parents learn to detach appropriately over time.
I have found it difficult to detach for a few reasons. The primary one being that I practiced attachment parenting when the kids needed it most – so that seems commendable right? But caution because I believe it makes it more difficult eventually to detach properly from our adult kids. Attachment parenting creates a very close emotional bond between mother and child allowing them to eventually become secure and independent. That process invites our teens to naturally stretch that bond as they explore the bigger world that is inviting and enticing. On the other hand, the attachment parents tend to stay in the attachment mode for years after their kids reach young adulthood because we are programmed to protect, insulate, and nurture out own – even when it becomes imperative to learn to detach.
After all the kids are no longer just our kids… they eventually become someone’s husband or wife and their own kids’ parents. And then the sons and daughters marry and that new unit develops its own personality, likes, dislikes, and vision. So what do older parents do with their family vision that may or may not be in sync with their newlyweds’ visions? Throw them out, discard them? Is that why so many older parents seem to chuck the family thing and move far away to Florida or Arizona? Is it easier to be far away than to stay close to kids who don’t want a close, emotional bond with their parents? How do we parent these new parents? How do we detach without appearing cold and reserved? How do they detach without dishonoring the fourth commandment?
And what can be done when our older kids marry and chose to “favor” the other set of family over our own? After talking to many families over the years, I have to conclude that nearly every family has to deal with this additional problem.
I would recommend the following to young people and older parents.
1. First and foremost, recognize that we must share our kids with the world and others - and we need to teach our kids to balance these relationships out fairly as well. Secondly we must teach our kids to continue to be considerate of us – and others – even long after they no longer “need us” in a fair and just manner that honors the fourth commandment .
2. Sit down and have a pow-wow about each others’ expectations- yours and theirs - long before the wedding.
3. After grandkids are born, find out your kids’ expectations of you as grandparent.
4. Finally, recognize that even after having these discussions, the “best laid plans of mice and men” can still get muddled so always try and communicate openly and plainly.
5. We can’t – and shouldn’t want to - buy our adult kids’ affection, connections, and interests.
6. Let go even when detachment is difficult. Recognize that it is just one more step we will all need to take in order to be able to leave our earthly life behind willingly in order to embrace a permanent attachment that will be authentic, heavenly and grace-filled. One that will never more be marred by miscommunication, hurts, favoritism, rejection, or other human mistakes.
7. Offer up any hurt that comes from detaching from our kids.

I will write more about this subject in the months and weeks ahead.

Inviting You to Help us Help Today's Parents of Teens

2011-05-11T12:23:00.000-05:00

Nearly every adult has at least some worries/concerns about today’s teens– especially in the area of sexuality, and drug or alcohol abuse. The evidence suggests that many adult influencers have simply not been effective in helping teens counter today’s social temptations - and for a number of reasons. Consequently, teens have unprecedented incidence of unplanned pregnancies, suicide, sexually transmitted infections, and abortions. We believe we can help parents and families within parishes who share these same concerns.

Please allow me to introduce myself, our company and its works. I am Linda Kracht and founder of Fortifying Families of Faith; our mission is to help strengthen families, marriages, and parents. We believe that parents are the key to forming their teens in areas of faith, virtues (specifically chastity, self-control, temperance, and perseverance, morals and lifestyles, but these keys include consistency, staying involved, perceived as trustworthy, and staying committed. We can help fortify parents for this task.

Fortifying Families of Faith has produced a unique sexuality/health curriculum which invites parents to become active and committed partners in the formation of their teens in these areas. (Daughters Forever, Sons Forever (Hijas Para Siempre, Hijos Para Siempre) curriculum has been granted the Nihil Obstat & Imprimatur by Archbishop John C. Neinstadt). This past year, we held seminars for over 150 parents of teens in several parishes in the Archdiocese – in both English and Spanish. The positive feedback was reward enough for us - I and Viviana Sotro - but it made us realize that we need to put on more seminars in different locations and more frequently.

One glaring problem remains an obstacle to the success of this program; this is perhaps where you can help. Many attending parents – especially the Hispanic families – need financial assistance to pay the tuition for these events. Fortifying Families of Faith is accepting donations so this obstacle goes away.

I would like to tell you about how one parent was affected by attending the conference presented in Spanish to Hispanic families. Soon after attending the conference, this mother’s teen daughter was scheduled for a physical exam at their medical clinic. The mother was informed that the doctor intended to give the daughter the HPV vaccination. The mother objected to the vaccination after reading about it in Hijas Para Siempre, Hijos Para Siempre . Learning of the mother’s objections, the doctor gave reasons why the daughter should receive the vaccine. The mother listened politely but restated her opposition after staying unconvinced by the clinical sales pitch. Upon showing our book to the doctor, the mother was admonished for believing anything published in “religiously-based books”. The mother stood her ground forcing the physician to admit to several points offered in our book. We consider the mother’s stance a win - without the book/seminar, the mother would not have had the opportunity to know about the counterpoints against the Gardasil vaccination program. Given facts from both viewpoints, the mother was able to come to her own conclusion with regard to allowing – or not - the administration of this vaccine to her teen. We want all parents to have the chance to be fortified - especially in areas they feel lacking - so they can effectively parent given today's social influences on their teens.

Fortifying Families of Faith hopes to raise $12,000 for 2011-2012 school year so that we can offer free tuition or tuition assistance to over 100 families. Please help us help parents; can you help us with this effort by sending us a donation of $100 or $1000?. Thank you most sincerely for any assistance you can provide.

breast milk - may provide clues about potential cancer risk

2011-04-19T08:23:00.007-05:00

Recently a group of researchers announced that breast milk may itself provide clues about a woman's risk for getting breast cancer. Certain cancer-indicator proteins were found in lactating mothers' breast milk - and their presence predicted the womens' breast cancer risk - albeit the study was a small group but it had encouraging results. Previously, any detectable cancer cells have only been found using invasive procedures (biopsies, etc) . Scientists wonder if the study will be helpful in advancing the early detections of breast cancer in a very non-invasive way - analyzing samples of the lactating mother's breast milk.

This study makes me wonder whether these findings may even help assess/prevent the detection of a new offsprings' long-terms cancer risks - those long after the baby is done breastfeeding. Also, will the presence or absence of the protein help prevent or advance the new baby's risk for breast cancer?

Breast milk has been found to be immensely rich in many vital nutrients and ingredients; these advance health, wellbeing, and growth in breastfeeding babies. Sadly most of these "hidden" advantages are devoid in manufactured formula products. Researchers are just beginning to see - for example- that ingesting breast milk as a baby that is naturally high in cholesterols helps reduce potential cholesterol-related diseases later in life! Similarly, I wonder if ingesting cancer-related proteins increase or decrease a breastfed baby's future cancer risks? Or does it only indicate a lactating mother's risks? . An open question but ripe for further study.

Don't you find it ironic how science has advanced our lives in so many ways while also curtailing our fuller appreciation for the natural interconnectedness between body, mind, and soul? How has it come to be that any of us fail to appreciate breast milk for its life saving capacity? Isn't it odd that we have to study breast milk first in order to prove its worth - but even then we fail to insist that it's a baby's right to breastfeed? When will we appreciate the fact that if God made it that way it really can't be improved upon? This can be said about other body/mind/soul connections as well.

On a different note: last Sunday's Gospel talked about the greatest proof offered by God with regard to His authentic love for each of us. That proof was provided to us by His ready acceptance of being subjugated to an earthly body that had to suffer and die a very unhumane death - and simply for our good not His! It must have been a very great insult to have to take on the form of a lower being (human) while having to suffer and die a bandit's death! Yet it wasn't regarded by Him an insult simply because it proved His great love for us.

Similarly, taking on the form of pregnancy is a great insult as well. With pregnancy we take on a form that is difficult to cope with- pregnant moms don't particularly like their body shape, their lack of sleep, weight gain, and waddling gait when pregnant.

Yet it isn't a great insult at all! In fact, pregnant mothers have the opportunity to show the world that they are imitating Christ's Great Insult which provides the tangible and only real proof of unconditional love! We are willing to accept this insult for the greater good of someone else. It also provides proof of our love and belief in God's order of creation. Looked at solely through the lens of physical health and well being of a woman, pregnancy is indeed an insult to her being. Yet, this same insult provides her the unique opportunity to be transformed in a way not possible another way. She sustains the pregnancy out of unconditional love for God, husband, self, and the newly formed human life growing within her. Like Christ's transformation; pregnancy has the potential to transform us into a more loving, more humane person.

Abortion is proof positive that the pregnancy can be viewed as simply an insult that does not have to be born - it is also proof positive that humans continue to deny the connectedness between body, mind and soul or appreciation of authentic love! It is proof positive that Christ's freely given love is often rejected - that is the great insult.

Hope your Easter is Blessed and Grace-filled.

Growing Up

2011-03-29T07:50:00.005-05:00

Today was a milestone for our youngest child - but a milestone Kyra failed to fully appreciate like most of us when we were growing up. Bear with me while I describe the entire story. Any mother with daughters knows that one day sooner than we hope our daughter will mature into a young woman. This means she will begin to have hair and breast development. The final sign of having reached sexual maturity is the Menarche - it is so significant it has been assigned a medical term! Menarche is the first period. This first show comes with the need to present concrete explanations for why blood in her underwear is a healthy sign. Up to now, everything about blood was connected to pain, trauma, injury, hurts, owies, and problems. Menarche also entails having to explain in more detail how babies are made - or at least we should be trying to have these discussions. That's the beauty of having daughters. Unfortunately, our sons don't have this definitive day of demarcation in which we know they have reached sexual maturity! Few of our boys will blurt out the fact that they had a "wet dream". So for boys this process has to be dealt with in a different manner; unfortunately, too many boys grow up without having any talk at all! But that is for another blog. We have been describing to Kyra what it will mean to have reached sexual maturity in far less explicit terms - but she knows that her body is changing! She said one day that she didn't want to wear a bra anymore and that she didn't want to grow breasts - she liked them just the way they were. We can all relate to her musings in some way can't we! I had also forewarned her of the menarche but that went over her head - futureistic is way too complex of a thought expecially when it seemed like a big negative rather than a positive! The obscurity of growing up and having periods was just something for another era! So her famous line was blurted out: "Don't worry about it Mom!" This is her line when she seems to detect some anxiety on my part. And of course I worry more about her growing up than our other daughters in part due to her special needs. Some day it may sink in that I really don't have to worry about her! And I have to remind myself that ovulatory cycles - even for her - are necessary for bone development, heart health, uterine health, and the whole body wellness. After all, she is still a female and that's the way we are designed - to have periodic fertility cycles. Absence of periodic cycles - or no menarche ever- is not a good thing for female bodies. Today, Kyra came home from school and said: "Mom, I have some bad news!" Oh- oh went my heart! Thinking it was about school, I was totally unprepared for her next statement. She bluntly said: "Mom I have blood in my underwear!" So I asked to see it and sure enough - Menarche. So I hugged her and congratulated her on becoming a young woman! I also said that now we can get her ears pierced - that has been the family tradition! I think its a good one! It offers a positive reward for what can seem like a big negative! She liked the latter suggestion but didn't like the sounds of being a young woman or of having monthy episodes like this! She also didn't like to hear that it might last 3 - 5 days! To protest the big day she cried out: "But I don't want to grow up! I don't like this blood." She also doesn't like the scratchy, bulky feeling of the feminine napkins and the dripping of the blood. I know that because she kept complaining about it through supper, before bed, upon waking this morning, and other times. This is much to the disgust of older brother Patrick who had some not to nice of comments to her and me about the whole affair! Her complaints make me appreciate menopause all over again! And like her, there are many days when I don't really want to grow up! Out of context, my mother just passed away! But it's nice to know that now she has finally grown up fully! May she rest in peace.

novena request

2011-02-03T13:41:00.002-06:00

On December 8, 2010, the Church declared the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help a Marian Shrine. Located in Champion, WI, the shrine rests on the site of the first and only approved apparition in the US by the Church. The incredible history of Sister Adele and the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help can be found at http://shrineofourladyofgoodhelp.com.

We would like to ask you to pray with us a Novena beginning February 9, 2011; the Novena will ask Our Lady’s intercession for the creation of the Culture of Life Institute within the St. Paul-Mpls metro area. The novena will conclude on October 9, 2011, the anniversary of the apparition. We will gather at the Shrine on Sunday October 9, 2011, the conclusion of the Novena and you are most welcome to join us. After the completion of the Novena, we hope to be called to create this Institute.

Please let us know if you plan on praying this Novena with us. (Please use the attached Novena)

The Institute was conceived after realizing that our youngest daughter, Kyra Therese and all other Special Needs Children, are still unable to receive a quality, Catholic education in most dioceses.

This Culture of Life Institute would like to change that by providing a center that offers managed, individualized instruction for any child – regardless of abilities. It would also provide quality senior care and housing for the elderly. They, in turn, would be asked to stay actively involved and committed to the business of the Institute according to their talents and abilities. The Institute would offer protection and support for expectant single women. Finally, this Catholic Community Center would address the social, physical, spiritual needs of the greater Catholic community. The Institute will be a Center for the New Evangelization as called for by Pope Benedict XVl. We will “Not Be Afraid” to help those most vulnerable and lacking or to provide much needed spiritual, physical, and social supports. Our mission will be to answer the question posed by Our Lady to Sister Adele, “what are you doing here in idleness while your companions are working in the vineyard of my Son?’"

We have chosen Our Lady of Good Help, because Sister Adele understood the frustrations of living with a handicap/disability. An accident caused Sister Adele to be blinded in one eye. Despite this handicap, she started a school/convent for the poor children of her community without having initial support. Eventually her efforts created the Sisters of the Chapel of Our Lady of Good Help, a tertiary secular community whose members adopted simple religious garb, took no permanent vows, retained property and independence, and were free to leave. Their primary goal: provide the parochial education for the poor and needy. These members stood in testament to the church’s teaching that religious education of youth is a primary function and duty of the family and an orderly Christian society.

The US Catholic Bishops exhorted (a decree from the First Plenary Council of Baltimore, November 21, 1851) schools that “no parish is complete until it has schools adequate to the needs of its children.” Furthermore, the US Bishops instructed in 2007 that “the moral strength of a society is measured by how we treat our most vulnerable citizens.” How well are we faithfully working to complete this instruction? Please pray with us.

O QUEEN OF HEAVEN AND EARTH, Most Holy Virgin, we venerate thee. Thou art the beloved Daughter of the Most High God, the chosen Mother of the Incarnate Word, the Immaculate Spouse of the Holy Spirit, the Sacred Vessel of the Most Holy Trinity.O Mother of the Divine Redeemer, who under the title of Our Lady of Good Remedy comes to the aid of all who call upon thee, extend thy maternal protection to us. We depend on thee, Dear Mother, as helpless and needy children depend on a tender and caring mother.

Hail, Mary....

O LADY OF GOOD REMEDY, source of unfailing help, grant that we may draw from thy treasury of graces in our time of need.Touch the hearts of sinners, that they may seek reconciliation and forgiveness. Bring comfort to the afflicted and the lonely; help the poor and the hopeless; aid the sick and the suffering. May they be healed in body and strengthened in spirit to endure their sufferings with patient resignation and Christian fortitude.

Hail, Mary....

DEAR LADY OF GOOD REMEDY, source of unfailing help, thy compassionate heart knows a remedy for every affliction and misery we encounter in life. Help me with thy prayers and intercession to find a remedy for my problems and needs, especially for... (Indicate your special intentions here).On my part, O loving Mother, I pledge myself to a more intensely Christian lifestyle, to a more careful observance of the laws of God, to be more conscientious in fulfilling the obligations of my state in life, and to strive to be a source of healing in this broken world of ours.Dear Lady of Good Remedy, be ever present to me, and through thy intercession, may I enjoy health of body and peace of mind, and grow stronger in the faith and in the love of thy Son, Jesus.

Hail, Mary.....

V. Pray for us, O Holy Mother of Good Remedy,R. That we may deepen our dedication to thy Son, and make the world alive with His Spirit.

In 1198, St. John of Matha founded the Trinitarians to buy Christian slaves from slave markets in order to set them free; this needed large sums of money. The Trinitarians placed their needs under the patronage of Mary. Over the centuries, the Trinitarians were able to free thousands of people and return them home safely. In gratitude for Mary’s miraculous assistance, St. John of Matha honored her with the title of "Our Lady of Good Remedy." The Church celebrates her feast day on October 8. Our Lady of Good Remedy is often depicted as the Virgin Mary handing a bag of money to St. John of Matha.

What Are We All Waiting For?

2010-10-05T18:44:00.001-05:00

What Are We All Waiting For?
Most of us are probably waiting for something to happen or for someone to arrive at any given moment in our everyday lives. Perhaps you are eagerly awaiting the birth of a new baby. Maybe some of you are simply waiting for the arrival of Phase Three; others are hoping for news of a job offer or an improved economy. Many of us are eagerly awaiting the November election during which time we can democratically fire or hire a political candidate. Some of us are waiting at the bedside of our sickly beloveds – hoping for a miracle or a blessed release from further suffering. Some of us had to stand in line today at the slowest checkout lane in a store; others were stuck in traffic jams awaiting a miracle or two in order to get to a meeting on time. Many of our children eagerly look forward to their birthday, the teen years, acceptance into college, or Christmas.

Many of us await the return of a son, daughter, grandparent, sibling, or friend at Thanksgiving.
In other words, we are all waiting! Waiting is an everyday occurrence with varying degrees of anxiety, joyfulness, anticipation or dread. Waiting can be grouped into two general categories: positive, hopeful waitings or irritating, challenging ones. Regardless of the type of wait we are either forced into or have full acceptance of, we are all called to love in and through this waiting – and therein is everyone’s challenge. How well are we waiting? How well are we loving through the wait? How much beauty are we creating through the wait? Conversely, how much bleakness, loss of hope, anger, or lack of faith do we generate through the wait?

Carl Anderson, author of Called To Love, writes that “our bodies are like an artist’s expressive medium; it is not a shapeless raw material but is a work of art waiting to be drawn out of the marble, the colors, or the musical notes. If human freedom were disembodied, it might have more room to play with hypothetical possibilities but it would be unable to create anything beautiful or to share such beauty with the rest of the world.” So waiting serves a purpose- it allows us to be drawn out by God; it can also become a disservice to God’s handiwork if we refuse to cooperate with His slow, patient, formation.

People of faith should have a better understanding that our waiting in lines, for people, for job offers, for anything is merely symbolic of the final wait. In fact, all earthly activities, nature, and dimensions are symbolic of our hoped for destination: Heaven. How well we wait for the smaller things in life may be a pretty accurate reflection of how well we are waiting for the Final Event. The good news is that once we go through the Final Event - we won’t have to wait anymore! The bad news is that the wait for the Final Event is filled with challenging, irritating, mini- waits that partially define who and what we are and how well we have allowed ourselves to be drawn out of marble, out of colors, or musical notes”.

May all of us always remember that God also waits – He waits for our assent to be drawn out by His hand during all of our waiting and during the “whatevers” in life. He waits as we learn to love authentically by His Hand.
God Bless .

A New Way to Pay for College

2010-08-26T09:25:00.004-05:00

We had the opportunity to hear Fr. Tad (he has a much longer first and last name) lecture about IVF and all of its variations at the recent CCL Convention in Green Lake Wisconsin. Fr. Tad is a young, dynamic priest who has garnered a lot of respect for his work, education, and training in moral ethics especially with regard to life issues including end of life, In-Vitro Fertilization, reproductive technologies, and other matters.

Did you know that about 20% of all American babies born today have been "artificially reproduced" via IVF and its sister technologies? All of these efforts disrupt the inherent dignity of giving birth to babies generated "naturally". During IVF procedures, both parents allow themselves to be used in order to "get" a baby - as if it is their inherent right to have/own one. Likewise the newly fertilized human person is manipulated into being which poses far greater dangers to his/her future well being, survival, life and personal dignity. Furthermore, the IVF technologies promote the practice of creating "designer babies"; this was the subject of an earlier blog. Over a half million fertilized eggs still lie "dormant" and frozen in "test tubes" around the US awaiting someone's decision about whether to allow them to be thawed out and implanted in someone's uterus, adopted, used for scientific research, purposes, or discarded.

So how is IVF linked to paying for college? Did you know that Ivy League women are currently targeted by IVF technology - related companies to donate their "fresh, young, superior DNA eggs" to egg banks. These egg banks then use the "donated" eggs for IVF - to create "test tube babies". The term- donated eggs - is completely disingenuous since most egg donors are paid over $5K to $100K for every cycle that they allow themselves to be hormonally "hyper-stimulated"; technologists are then able to harvest multiple eggs/person/cycle in order to produce designer babies for the couples experiencing infertility. Notice, only "superior", Ivy League donors are sought after; companies do not need the average- run of the mill, female attending mid-western colleges! And so everyone's dignity is insulted by the philosophy behind IVF!

While this is a very "common" procedure, there is nothing ethical about it says Fr. Tad. The Catholic Church teaches that every baby has the right to be conceived, protected, carried, and nourished within the body of his/her mother. While there are naturally ethical ways to help infertile couples, IVF is not one of those means.

Helicopter Parenting

2010-08-03T14:29:00.000-05:00

Several articles have emerged noting increased concerns by “experts” about the negative impact that China’s one child policy may have on future generations, society as a whole, and the children raised by their doting parents. Most Chinese parents comply and/or conform to this governmental decree generating evidence that the statute will have negative psychological and sociological repercussions on that nation sometime down the road. For example, too many parents are fostering “narcissistic” and self centered offspring since they have only one child to “worry over”. China runs the risk of generating populations with severe shortages of females.
Lest America gets too smug about our freedom to be able to have as many children as we wish, it should be noted that most American parents willingly subscribe to the same philosophy that less children is better. And that is even more significant –we willingly take on the emerging problems linked to low birth rates. In fact, most Americans tend to have fewer children than required to replace themselves; we only have a “higher than European or Chinese” birth rate because of the higher birth rates among our new immigrants – legal and illegal. So, it follows that America runs the risk of raising youthful personalities who tend toward narcissism and self centeredness. It also follows that today’s parents may drift toward helicopter parenting – a parenting type that is overly indulgent, worried, involved, controlling, meddling, interfering, and pushy – as they choose to have fewer children to “worry over”.
Schools are beginning to realize this sociological phenomenon as well. Pastors, teachers, and school principals alike complain that too many parents are overly concerned about the popularity of child/ self and not as much concerned about being responsible parents who “effectively” parent. In fact, too many parents readily fit the mold of helicopter parents – they excessively concern themselves over their children’s affairs that measure external performance or affect social “standings” - like grades, test scores, position on the athletic team - rather than spending energy into forming the whole (the character and integrity ) of the child. Unfortunately, the helicopter parent isn’t limited to grade school matters; in fact this type of parenting does not change much even though the offspring mature. These types of parents march in droves to schools – colleges as well as grammar schools - to complain about the difficulty of their student’s courses and corresponding low grades; or they complain when their student sits too long on the bench during athletic events or fails to secure a starting position; some complain when their students failed to secure a top ten position or entrance into the National Honor Society, even though the students failed to rightfully earned these tributes. These same parents are too frequently bamboozled into believing their students’ untruthfulness over teachers’, peers’ or other parents’ truthful complaints and concerns. These types of parents believe that the world revolves around their child. Unfortunately the helicopter parent is able to wield a certain degree of power at different levels; after all, the “squeaky wheel is what gets the grease”. But the power that these parents wield is not respected or respectful of others.
Recently, our parish pastor told me that the problem is so great that someone needs to write a good book about effective parenting – one that exhorts parents to love parenting and how to parent well while admonishing those who fail to parent and/or avoid parenting at all costs.
On the other hand, too many parents are lumped into the helicopter parent category when they express genuine concerns about their student’s grades, performance, or behaviors. We know of a family who expressed legitimate concerns about their son’s lackluster academic performance only to be embarrassed into “letting go”. Two semesters and $40,000 later, the son flunked out of college due to the development of a drug problem. Had the college proffered up the information they had at their fingertips, an earlier intervention or positive solution may have been found. Most parents know their child better than teachers, coaches, and other people; we are frequently the first to sense a problem sooner than in loco parentis adults. In fact, one professor reminds parents that her own “hovering” saved her college son’s life. Nobody else had recognized the symptoms behind his emerging mental illness.
Yes it is true, that all parents need to be their children’s advocates but not at the expense of instilling narcissism or ego-centrism in their own child. While parents should encourage their students to “find their potential” we must always remind our students that their talents are God-given and not self-directed. As in all areas of life, balance is the name of the game. Watching over the infusion of character in all aspects of our kids’ lives including their spiritual, mental, physical, cognitive, emotional, and social life is important. Neglect or unnecessary concerns with regard to only a few developmental areas will result in the ridiculous hovering and over-parenting that is never effective.
Do we all hover at different times? Probably, but it is much easier to hover when we don’t have enough to worry about; conversely it is more difficult to hover when there is plenty to worry about!
Recently one young woman proclaimed to me that few women can effectively parent seven children in today’s world– there is simply too much to worry about. After badgering her for further explanation, she ended up concluding that maybe she needed to research her statement more. But her attitude is so typical of the social indoctrination that has been willingly “adopted” by our modern society which has unnecessarily over-medicalized natural processes including birth, birth regulation, menopause, fertility cycles, etc. It comes in part from modern day sociologists who suggest that motherhood and breastfeeding are just two more ways that allow males to have dominance over females! Or those who suggest that motherhood is so much more difficult today because new mothers are expected to be super heroes who have to go through pregnancy without drinking a drop of liquor, smoking cigarettes, maintaining low weights, have to use car seats for any other kids, all the while trying to break through glass ceilings. These writers forget that previous generations of mothers had to combine pregnancy and mothering efforts with gardening (by necessity), sewing (by necessity), cooking (no eating out for these hard working moms), and no babysitters or nannies for these moms, etc. And they also forget what real life is all about. For example, a recent article quoted Angelina Jolie as saying that having children and sacrificing for them is what has taught her the meaning of authentic love! Sounds to me like she is beginning to get the gist behind theology of the body and the family.
Let me conclude with one final story. Friends of ours have a single daughter – needless to say the mother worries constantly about her young adult more than I have time for with regard to my four adult and three emerging adult children and their spouses and children. By the way, we now have eleven grandchildren and life is busy and fun! One day I asked this mother to “babysit” our two youngest children; sure enough, that was the day Patrick fell down while riding his bike and got a bit “beat up”. This friend called to ask whether she should run Patrick to the emergency room. After asking a few questions, I was satisfied that he would be fine; I also told her we would be home within the hour as planned – needless to say we did not rush home! After arriving home at the expected time, we felt the brunt of her admonishment for being too casual about the whole accident. After all, we did not rush home or allow her to take Patrick to the hospital. She worried that he might have internal bruising or a broken bone. I told her that a broken bone was impossible since he was walking about without crying. I also reminded her we had quite a bit of experience with broken legs. Her look told me clearly that she wasn’t surprised to hear why!
This story paints the gulf that exists between those of us with many kids and varied experiences and those with few of either. It is the classic difference between those who “power parent” vs. “helicopter parent”. Time management theories plainly lead to the conclusion that parents of a large family have less chance of being and/or staying helicopter parents. While we all may overly parent our first several children, the chances that that flaw will linger dwindles as we get busier and busier with four, five, and six children and more. But I offer this advice to parents – all of us need to create balance between real concern and advocacy vs. over parenting or over casualness with regard to the precious ones that God has given us for a little while. And what a blessing they are. Take the time to consider whether your worries about your little ones just are one more sign that God is calling you to make room for one more!

Image and Likeness

2010-08-03T14:14:00.005-05:00

We are all made in the image and likeness of God. This means that we ought to be able to see God's genius in His creation - and so we can with our limited intellect.

For instance the other day, we saw two beautiful full rainbows in the sky- the second one was not merely a reflection of the other. It was its own rainbow but a perfect duplicate copy.

We have had opportunity to witness great compassion in others. This is a taste of God's compassion. We have all been introduced to a person we think of as a genius - again they foreshadow the great genius of the Almighty. We have met people with incredible artistic talents - musical, painters, writers, or others. Again they represent the beauty and artistry of what we will see in Heaven. Then there is the immense universe complete with stars, planets, meteorites, comets, and more. They were put there to remind us of the immensity of God. Other times we glimpse the enormity of suffering. This is to remind us of God's suffering as well when we reject His infinite love.

It isn't a coincidence that all of life is some sort of imagery or reflection of God and His Greatness. Recently we were blessed with two new grandchildren. These new babies really do reflect God's purity and innocence.

If only I could always go through life seeing how all of life is related to God's handiwork.

Father's Day Tribute - To Our Real Men

2010-05-20T08:21:00.005-05:00

A Real Man sacrifices and works for the common good of his family! But he does far more than that! According to John Walter Wayland, in 1899 a True Gentleman has many great characteristics but he especially upholds honor and virtue. This is Wayland's idea of a real man;

The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of proprietyand whose self-control is equal to all emergencies who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty,the obscure man of his obscurity,or any man of his inferiority or deformity;

who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another;

who does not flatter wealth,cringe before power,or boast of his own possessions or achievements;

who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy;

whose deed follows his word;

who thinks of the rights and feelings of others rather than his own;

and who appears well in any company;

a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.

Thank the real gentleman in your life today!

The Emotions Aroused by Breastfeeding

2010-04-21T13:36:00.012-05:00

Lately, there has been a lot of positive and negative articles written about breastfeeding - much of it is laced with emotion. It is hard to understand - now that I am "born and bred in the natural path" - how the simple act of breastfeeding can generate so much anger, emotion, and anxiety among women.

Recently a NFP student of ours wrote an email registering disappointment about the way I promoted breastfeeding in class. She accused me of being overly opinionated on the subject! Not sure if she remembered that I have written a book about breastfeeding! She also put us on notice that she and her fiance were no longer interested in talking to me (us) ever again - even about NFP - because of my zealous promotion of breastfeeding. An over-reaction? Certainly. Could I have been over the top by my explanations? Certainly - advocay can be a difficult thing to contain. But one thing strikes me as kind of odd - and it seems to be the sort of thinking that is happening all through our culture. Since when does lack of experience coupled with lack of knowledge allow someone to completely disregard years of personal expereince, research experience, and knowledge? Is it that thing called Pride? Is it not apparent to her that her accusatory positions also come across as insensitive, judgmental, and opinionated - of which I was accused of having?

Funny how much she reminds me of myself years ago when I also was very defensive and against breastfeeding. It was at that time that I had the opportunity to go toe to toe with a very big advocate of CCL, NFP and breastfeeding! His name was Dr. Herbert Ratner. Tired of my arguments, he came flat out and told me that I was self-centered, egotistical, and prideful. Do you wonder how that would have gone over in class? His comments stung but they also made me think! It made me answer the question: why was I so adamantly opposed to breastfeeding? The reasons I could come up with were just as he declared: pride, self-centeredness and selfishness. I could not yet imagine how much I would grow and change by giving (career, $$) all up for someone else.

Well his comments changed me! And to this day, I am thankful for those insensitive comments. Hopefully, God can use my insensitivies for such good purposes as well. Maybe one day this young woman will reconsider her "opinions".

One final point: have you ever noticed that many women fall back on the argument that "well, many women can't breastfeed?" They fail to realize just how few that number actually is!http://www.fijitimes.com/story.aspx?id=144888 discusses how many Fiji women successfully begin breastfeeding! True, though is that this "number" mysteriously increases exponsentially in an unfriendly breastfeeding culture! For women who actually cannot sucessfully breastfeed through no fault of their own, infant formula and baby bottles was (and remains) an important invention for their baby's sake (and orphaned babies)! But in reality, technology has rendered the simple act of loving one's baby through breastfeeding into a battle that pits women against women! The abandonment of breastfeeding has itself become a battle of rights and freedoms! So much emotion is wasted because men and women fail to appreciate the simplicity of God's design for love and life. And for my poor ability to witness properly to those not yet ready to hear what the design entails. Thoughts and Comments?

"Kicked Out For Breastfeeding"

2010-04-06T18:18:00.006-05:00

Today's paper (Pioneer Press; 4-6-2010) published a story by John Brewer that described the saga of a woman, her husband and two sons who were kicked out of Old Country Buffet because she was indecently breastfeeding her child. While the company denies that breastfeeding was the reason they asked the woman and her family to leave, it seems obvious that any other issues were actually secondary.

Things escalated quickly and the restaurant called the police to the scene. They claimed that the husband became beligerant and hostile and therefore they had to call the police. All because someone was "upset" about breastfeeding in public.

My book - the Art of Breastfeeding - talks about the breastfeeding buttinksis that oppose breastfeeding (especially in public) for more reasons than one! We can now add Old Country Buffet to the list. They may have been caught off guard by this woman however, as she seems to be a lactivist. Lactivists are those women who are so convinced about the benefits of breastfeeding that they will arrange for breastfeeding sit-ins at or boycotts of airports, restaurants, malls, and other places. Maybe she read my book? She certainly knows her rights! And she is right about her rights!

Boycotts can be a very effective means by which we express our disappointment, concerns, and justified anger at nitwits who dare to take away our legal civil rights. They are very effective means by which we partake in peaceful demonstrations and freedom of expressions. Maybe a boycott of this restaurant will show them that they shouldn't mess with lactating mama bears or human mamas either!

I have never been asked to leave any place except for one - because of breastfeeding. That was the steps of the Supreme Court building in Washington, DC. Although, I was shocked and tempted to assert my rights as this mama, I was reigned in by the fact that DC police were the ones who asked me to "stand up" claiming that there is no "squattering" on the steps of the US Supreme Court. They were simply daring me to breastfeed standing up and so I did. As you can tell, I sort of identify with this mama. I like her spunk!

While I always advocate for modest breastfeeding, I am certain that many more women and girls who have been significantly more scantily clad than mama bear have paraded the aisles of Old Country Buffet without consequence but equal attention!

So, just where in the world is objectiveness and real justice?

Certainly not in Old Country Buffet or the steps of the Supreme Court!

Responsible parenthood

2010-02-25T18:34:00.003-06:00

Responsible Parenthood

NFP (Natural Family Planning) – the great fertility awareness tool that it is - allows us to successfully track biological information in order to know when to try to achieve pregnancy or postpone pregnancy. It essentially provides us with information that gives us “complete” autonomy over family planning matters. NFP frees us from having to rely or resort to man-made barriers or contraceptives that are environmental pollutants and personal/relationship robbers.
Since the use of NFP is always good – why do we still need to pay attention to the Church’s call for responsible parenthood? Simply put, NFP is mere knowledge, what we do with that knowledge still matters. Attitude is everything. As taught in the CCL class, couples may first begin to realize there is a difference in the way the world defines responsible parenthood vs. the way JP ll defined it.
The secular world essentially defines responsible parenthood as the balancing act that entertains both elements of vice and virtue: it is the act of “balancing personal ambition with parental/family guilt”. In other words, the secular world suggests that people will experience guilt over being childless or being absentee parents when they pursue lifestyles that put all their personal talents toward job-related functions. This effort is touted as the way to get ahead- the way; it yields maximum material benefits and personal reward. Simultaneously, the world acknowledges that adults who seek only “materialism” veer toward vice such as selfishness and self centeredness. So society urges adults to have children only to the extent that it mitigates any continued feelings of guilt for “selfishness” and “self centeredness” while allowing them to pursue personal ambitions that provide significant material abundance. These families are propped up as the model for society. Their achievements and family size are said to be the envy of many. But is there any Truth in this model?
My prayer group just finished a short Bible study of the First Corinthians; St. Paul wrote this letter to the new, faithful, Corinthians to urge them to abandon the ways of their secular world and to live according to the Spirit and not the flesh. His urging is just as important and relevant to us today – especially in these matters of sexuality and responsible parenting.
By the way, the Church also defines responsible parenting as a balancing act but one which strives to grow virtue while abandoning all vice. Responsible parenting is all about infusing blessings into and within the family; sometimes these blessings are additional children, always these blessings produce joyful coexistence. And always these blessings move us to grow in virtue and abandon vice. And that is why we must pay attention to whether or not we are practicing responsible parenthood even while using NFP. Responsible parenting is all about developing virtuous attitudes as well as actions; they go hand in hand. We grow in all Virtue in proportion to how we love God; quite naturally it follows that we grow in personal and spiritual virtue in proportion to how we love our spouse and our children.
Our family becomes either one joyful, happy circle of relationships that keep growing us and each other as well as growing our physical numbers; or family can become one that is a hopeless or unhappy and a circle of relationships that keeps its members from growing and loving each other (and God) more.
In truth, responsible parenting must first include a loving relationship with God; we must be open to receiving His enormous blessings before we can authentically love our family members and bring blessings into our family. When we learn to authentically love God first and then our spouse, we are fortified against the ways and opinions of the secular world which castigates couples for: having large families; for not pursuing material wealth; for not putting both mom and dad to work; for breastfeeding; for not aborting a baby with Special Needs, for having a baby when we are over 40, for …

Abortion debates- Contradictions in catholic circles

2010-01-22T14:05:00.009-06:00

On the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, I think that it important to talk briefly about some contradictions in certain catholic circles with regard to abortion. They are the following:

1.While the Church clearly teaches that abortion is the taking of new life and always morally wrong, this message somehow gets watered down among catholics in schools and jobs over concern about guilt and the abortive mother. This concern is misplaced. Evidence shows that women without "religion" still have higher rates of depression and attempted suicides than birth mothers. This evidence comes by way of several Scandanavian studies which show that while abortion is very common and assumed to not have moral consequence, so is post-abortion depression. The evidence of increased risk for depressions also comes to us from a study that was conducted in Australia. Clearly, we have to worry about the state of the post-abortion mother but not by avoiding the discussion about the right and wrong of the abortion.

2. While the Church stands up courageously for all life, many catholic schools fail to educate all of our catholic children for a variety of reasons: lack of family money, large families can't afford high tuitions, special needs children, etc. Too many catholic schools - like catholic hospitals have become more elitist in approaching education and caring for the poor and the special needs children. Is it any wonder that society overall has become less caring as they watch the faithful become less involved and concerned as well. The axiom that the more we love God the more we love others rings so true today.

3. The ideal of sending our children to catholic schools leads many families to assume a two-person income . A long time ago, I remember reading a commentary from Pope JP II; he wished mothers would stay home before taking jobs that took them away from the family and loving and nurturing their young ones. Peer pressure is hard to overcome even for parents.

4. Many Catholic schools of all levels (grade school through college) seem oblivious to the mission and vision of forming well educated, exuberant, faithfilled, authentic, students so they can become "soldiers for Christ" as popularized in the 50's. Instead, colleges (catholic) seem more prone to generate soldiers against Christ. While many parents wring their hands over the lack of catholic formation occurring at their kids' schools, they continue to pay the bills and allow this lack of formation to continue.

5. Irreligious philosophers suggested that the way to turn out people who don't need "religion" is to lure them into sexual immorality. It turns out that adopting the irreligious attitudes and behaviors is part and parcel of why we continue to debate the morality of abortion in 2010.

More About Things

2010-01-16T10:39:00.003-06:00

Yesterday, a friend called me to bounce off a question. We all do that when unsure about things - that's one of the great value of having friends that we trust not to just "tickle our ears". True, sometimes we just want our ears tickled but not this time.
Her question was posed like this: "Her daughter (11 years old) was invited to a birthday party and wanted to buy her friend a birthday gift certificate from Abercrombie and Fitch? Anything wrong with that? Was A&F still into "bad advertisements", etc?"
My reaction was this:
First, I was struck once again by how young our children realize and yearn for what is considered hip by the hipsters!
Second, I reasoned that the daughter had probably asked her friend what she wanted for her birthday and the girl had told her about A&F regardless of the fact that it's merchandise isn't cheap. Whatever happended to the - "I don't want gifts- i just want us to have fun at my party" type of response.
Third, what happens when this girl fails to buy her friend this A&G gift certificate? Will she turn on her, shun her, make her feel less of a friend? Girls can be very mean to their "friends".
Finally, I responded to my friend that many advertisers cross the line as far as decency today. Even family friendly stores sport sexy ads so while A&F cross the line more and more extravagantly, I don't know that is reason enough to avoid them in this case. I think the more important reason to not buy the gift certificate is that it caves into that consumerism-materialism that seems to rule! I cautioned to buy a gift certificate from a more wholesome and cheaper store but that has nice clothes like Old Navy.

I think she liked the suggestion and plans on doing that.

Your thoughts?

Breakable things

2010-01-06T12:14:00.004-06:00

Happy New Year.

Over the course of time, I have lost many valuable things. These losses seemed devestatingly painful at the time. I remember clearly the day that someone stole (from my cubicle at work while a Co-Op Student at 3M) my wallet, my birthstone ring I had just received for Christmas from my parents and another ring from my boyfriend who is now my husband - Dave. I was very sad and hurt that a "co-worker" would dare to steal my beloved things.

My children have broken a few precious things over time also like my glass hummingbird, a few glass musical globes, glasses, dishes, and on and one. I have also broken cherished wedding gifts that I mourned over for at least a day. I have also lost valued earrings, and other pieces of jewelry. Just recently, my grandson broke my waterford salt shaker. At first I was angry that he even was playing with it in the first place.... gradually the anger was replaced with mourning and then acceptance - this rite was passed through quite quickly because I was only mourning things.

We all realize that things can actually be replaced- and over the course of time I have found I can live without these things quite easily! But what I couldn't live easily without is the love of my family. I am grateful that I have a loving husband and children.... so why is it that at times I make it seem that things are more important to me than they are?

Life is too short to worry about stuff - but it is the lives of our children and our husband that really matter. thoughts?

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-10T14:37:00.002-06:00

Friends,

I haven't been posting as much these past several months because I have been knee deep in reading abstracts, studies, and writing chapters for my next book targeted for the college crowd. Jackie Hilgert will once again edit this book for me and make it printable; then I will take it to the U of St. Thomas (first) . I will present the book as the major cornerstone for a course that studies the college culture and it's effect on the well being of students. It will be entitled Social Capital at Catholic Colleges. I would like to teach it within the Catholic Studies program. It may be a pipe dream but let's see if I can turn it into reality. I would appreciate your prayers that it becomes real.

Also, whenever you see a blog that you like please share it with others. I hope to increase my followings from 7 to 70 this year. With your help that may be possible.

Secondly, I unearthed the following poem written by Mother Teresa which I would like to share with you today. It seems so perfect for the Christmas season. I hope you enjoy it. I also hope that you and your loved ones have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (2011).

Life

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is a sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Have you read the Manhattan Declaration?

2009-11-25T10:08:00.001-06:00

I urge all of you to go to the Manhattan Declaration, read it and sign it - that is presuming you agree with it. It is a Christian Manifesto that is beautifully written. I think it is a sign of waking from our slumbers! Pplease check it out today! Copy and paste this url address and then hit go to: http://manhattandeclaration.org/sign-the-declaration

Let me know what you think!

Have a great Thanksgiving!

Universal truths

2009-11-02T08:44:00.002-06:00

These are three universal truths pertaining to all mankind:

1. No person has any right to indulge in a pleasure or demand a liberty that could ruin another brother or sister.

2. What is a safe activity or pleasure is not necessarily safe for another.

3. We are to judge from the basis of love and not mere knowlege.

If we all operated on these universal truths we would have a grand world. Did I make these up? Never- check out 1 Corinthians for these universal truths

Time Flies

2009-10-25T22:34:00.004-05:00

Wow, it's been a month since my last posting. This has been a busy writing month for me and my family. I have begun to write my sequel to Daughters Forever, Sons Forever and it takes a lot of my brain cells to think through the chapter content. Ha. My next book will be written for the student about to enter college or is in college; it will be entitled Daughters Forever, Sons Forever Off to College.

We went on a mini college tour with our number six child! Time truly does fly. He was impressed with my alma mater: the University of North Dakota. He loved the Fighting Sioux mascots even though their name is under scrutiny for lack of political correctness. If I were of the Sioux nation, I might rather be known as the fighting sioux than the sissy sioux but that is probably rather unwise to write publicly.

Also, it is interesting to think about the possibilities for the nation to have a national Press Corps that is in the tank for President Obama. He apparently doesn't know how to handle those who aren't in the same think tank. I guess most power seeking people believe that they know best and the rest of us are just too ignorant to see the big picture. So when a renegade news organization doesn't see it his way, President Obama questions their authenticity as a news organization.

I wonder if Catholics have been in the tank for the Democratic party as well? Would the pro-life cause be struggling as it is if they weren't? Look at what happens when US Bishops rightfully express concerns about the health care initiatives- Patrick Kennedy dares to ask them how dare they question the health care proposal! Guess he doesn't know how to handle those who think for themselves either. Maybe he also viewed Catholics as being in his same think tank.

We must all dare to ask some real hard questions of those in power.

I thought we lived in a nation that cherished freedom of press and speech and independent thinking? I guess that is also under advisement at this time. What do you think?

"Save the BOOBs Campaign"

2009-09-29T13:35:00.006-05:00

It’s 2009, overwhelming evidence points to the importance of exclusive and continued breastfeeding, yet legislators continue to negatively impact breastfeeding by wasting time and energy debating where and how mothers should breastfeed their babies in public!! Here is a clue for those worried about rising costs of health care- support breastfeeding every possible way to really reduce rising medical costs for babies, mothers, society!

Wisconsin (Bill 253.16) and North Dakota (Bill 2344) legislators have been debating public breastfeeding and recently passed legislation ensuring mothers of their rights to breastfeed in public as long as they are in an “authorized” location! Do you know mothers who prefer to sneak into unauthorized areas to breastfeed? Perhaps, if you know such a mother, she is merely trying to avoid the breastfeeding buttinskies that stare, worry about decency standards, and just don’t get breastfeeding! Thus far, Wisconsin has left out any modesty clauses to the bill; unfortunately North Dakota did not follow suit! ND legislators inserted this clause: "If the woman acts in a discreet and modest manner, a woman may breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, where the woman and child are otherwise authorized to be." Is anyone thinking? How and who are going to enforce “modesty”? The breastfeeding buttinskies- right! ?

I would have loved to have been a part of these debates! What are these legislators thinking? Does anyone bother to debate modesty standards for television, public places, or the fashion industry which puts out seductive clothing for young girls, teen girls, young women, and even older women?

Related to this is the “Support the Boobs Campaign”- no I am not inserting my own words. Recently such an ad appeared on UTube (http://mediablips.dailyradar.com/); it was followed up with a lively but one-sided discussion on FOX News. The ad is supposed to raise awareness for breast cancer; it's purpose is to bring in money for breast cancer research which works to eradicate breast cancer. It’s almost impossible to connect the dots between what you see and the ad’s intended purpose and message. The ad features a buxom, scantily clad (two piece – white- bikini), blond sashaying around in a public area – I think Wisconsin and North Dakota better get into the debate about the appropriateness and modesty of this ad! Anyway, the ad shows men smiling hugely at the passing blond whereas the 'watching" women are either expressing surprise, bewilderment, or jealousy; it was hard to judge their precise emotions. Meanwhile, the model bounces around the ad displaying a self confident smile that only a model in a white revealing bikini could pull off. By the way, I really can't remember what the model looked like! I mean her face!

Several female guests were asked by Bill O’Reilly whether the ad was offensive; unfortunately their responses clearly missed key reasons why the ad IS offensive to women. First, both women acknowledged that few men would be able to connect the ad with its appropriate message (reducing breast cancer); yet both thought it would be an effective fund raiser for breast cancer research since the men will enjoy watching the UTube ad and send in a few bucks! And they seemed to think that was ok! Enjoying the video for all the wrong reasons but sending in money – why? To save boobs? Whose boobs? Save the boobs For whom? The ad signals once again that it is ok to sexualize women's body parts while selling things or messages. This does nothing to raise the dignity of women - we are the ones most often exploited by porn and sex businesses.

Next, is anyone thinking about the breast cancer victims who have had to undergo mastectomies in order to survive??? Are these women now supposed to feel less attractive that the woman featured in the ad? Are they suppposed to feel less of a woman because of the treatment they had to undergo in order to stay alive? Are the husbands supposed to compare their wife to this model? The ad is out and out insensitive and hurtful to these women especially.

Third, why isn’t a breastfeeding mother used in the ad? Breastfeeding is a much more important reason to “save the boobs” campaign than sexualizing breasts for "girl watchers." Did you know that only western societies regard the breasts as sexual?

Fourth, why the ad didn't feature sick women fighting breast cancer as a reason to save the boobs campaign is beyond me! The campaign should have been dubbed " save the woman campaign featuring healthy but “boob-less” mothers and wives in loving relationships.

By the way, I cringe inside everytime I write boob- that is such a crass word for God's handiwork! Ok – now that I have gotten really worked up about this campaign, I want to tell you that this campaign is not going to get a nickel of my money! Even though gifts might fund research the way I look at it, it also sells the wrong message about the dignity of women. I won't be a part of such campaigns. I say we boycott donations to breast cancer research using these ads until and unless they get it right regarding why we really should save the "boobs". Readers, tell me where I have gone off the rails.

"Let prayer be our passion, let prayer be our practice"

2009-09-25T09:33:00.007-05:00

Below is an exhortation given 150 years ago; it remains pertinent especially given today's political, social, and religious polarity in the US.

"Let us humble ourselves before the Lord, our God asking through Christ the forgiveness of our sins, beseeching the aid of the God of our forefathers in the defense of our homes and our liberties, thanking Him for His past blessings, and imploring their continuance upon our cause and our people.

Knowing that intercessory prayer is our mightiest weapon and the supreme call for all Christians today, I pleadingly urge our people everywhere to pray. Believing that prayer is the greatest contribution that our people can make to this critical hour, I humbly urge that we take time to pray - to really pray.

Let there be prayer at sunup, at noonday, at sundown, at midnight - all through the day. Let us pray for our children, our youth, our aged, our pastors, our homes. Let us pray for the churches.

Let us pray for ourselves, that we may not lose the word concern out of our Christian vocabulary. Let us pray for our nation. Let us pray for those who have never known Jesus Christ and His redeeming love, for moral forces everywhere, for our national leaders. Let prayer be our passion. Let prayer be our practice." General Robert E. Lee 1863

Christian concerns at this hour should include:

The concern that: we have lost the practice and the passion of prayer.

That we have lost respect and concern for all life - pre-born, pre-conceived, newborn, and the aging; futhermore that we have replaced the belief that life comes from God with rhetoric.

That while we once believed that all life comes from God, we now suffer from the notion that life is man-made and disposable if all is not "perfect". This fails to account for the soul - the essence of human life and certainly not man-made.

That we have divorced life from authentic love.

That we have given up on the right to life and replaced it with the notion of it's "time to die".

That we are giving up on the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness by looking to a government rather than God to help us through difficulites.

That we have discarded Jesus' example of sacrifice for others and replaced it with entitlement, expectations for handouts and easy living.

That we value humans for what they have not who they are. For instance we value superior intellects, giftedness, rhetoric, human "wisdom", wealth, the ability to earn distinction, physical beauty. At the same time we fail to see these same virtues in those given less fortune, less ability, and less opportunity. We fail to see the whole person.

General Lee's exhortation is still timely; it is time to pray and time to live like we believe that God is God of all creation and we are merely His creatures.

The Candidacy

2009-09-21T14:49:00.003-05:00

Last week, Patrick (our 16 year old son) and I witnessed the "Candidacy" of 29 men at the St. Paul Seminary. This event is one of the pre-steps toward Priesthood; we were invited by Albert W. from Ghana. Albert is a wonderful young seminarian who we were privileged to meet through our parish. He just has several years left before final ordination. It was a very masculine event and one that we were blessed to have been at. Unfortunately, my husband missed it because he was sick with H1N1 - or at least it sounds more spectacular to surmise that's what he had!

If all these men continue with what seems to be their calling - we will have 29 more priests ordained in this archdiocese over the next several years. The numbers are astonishing! May God bless each of them! Please pray for this group as they study, discern, and decide. As the Bishop of Crookston said: "there are very few events in our lives in which we place our lives deliberately and solidly in the hands of God and tell God that we pledge to give Him our all. That night twenty nine men stood up, announced their presence in strong solemn tones, walked to the front of the Church and pledged to give God their all over the next several years! May He bless them abundantly.

Magnetism - God's natural law

2009-09-21T14:31:00.003-05:00

This morning I awoke with an unusual thought that I wanted to share with you. Have you ever thought about using magnets to describe our faith life to your children? Magnets can describe this quite cleverly - let me try to explain it to you first and see what you think.

If you hold two magnets with like poles facing the other the result is that they repel each other very strongly. In other words two positive poles repel each other. Even very weak magnets exhibit this same phenomenon. It is part of the natural law; it is also very obvious to whomever is experimenting with the magnets. Imagine this is two people in life - at times we seem to naturally repel the other. It can also be imagines as sin in our lives repelling us away from God.

Now put the two magnets with the opposite poles together Now they attract each other very strongly. This should represent God and us. The closer we are to God - the Supreme Positive Pole - the stronger the attraction and the desire we have to cling to Him; however the further we pull our magnetic self away from God - the less of an attraction we have for things of His. Finally, we might even end up without any attraction at all. Sin and the corresponding lack of grace affects us like the two magnets that are pulled apart from their natural attractions - from their sphere of influence. As we become grace-filled we eagerly cling to things of God; as we orbit out of His pole - or sphere - due to sin, temptation, etc. we gradually feel less and less of an attraction to Him. As we leave His attraction, we are pulled further and further away from all that is good. Just like the little magnet finally leaves the sphere of influence of the big magnet as it is pulled away, we also leave God's grace as we are pulled away. I think this is why God made magnetism - don't you agree?
I hope you like this analogy - it was God's little message to me today.

What's In Your Water?

2009-09-15T11:40:00.005-05:00

What's in your water - literally! Recent studies about various water ways released the following information:

1. Estrogen from the Birth control pills are flooding into the water systems - they are not removed by our waste water sewage systems. (Dr. Karen Kidd, University of New Brunswick in conjunction with the Canadian Rivers Institute)

2. Over 100 million women use a hormonal contraceptive - either combination or single hormone products.

3. Estorgen ends up in the water systems. "Pollutants are metabolized in our bodies as estrogen. And it is the lifetime exposure to estrogens that has increased world cancer rates by 26% since 1980.... We live in a toxic soup of chemicals" according to Dr. Susan Love (cancer surgeon)

4. Hormonal pollutants can affect human health by increasing the rate of breast cancer and other endocrinological diseases. (Carnevali & Mardonna, 2003; Davis et al. 1998)

5. These are the effects of excess estrogen comtaminants found among various fish populations:

lesions
reproductive impairment and altered behavior
feminaization of male fish
depressed serum testosterone levels
decreased egg and larval viability
altered enxymatic activities
decreased embryonic development and cellular damage
damaged fish create a threat to the ecosystems by eliminating fish populations (specific) and eventual contamination of human beings via the food web dynamic. (Lascombe et al 2000; Davis et al. 1998)

6. High concentrations of estrogens in water ways are directly proportional to population sizes and degree of urbanization.

7. Brittany Kimball, Univ. of Washington, May 30, 2008 wrote that "public notification of this accumulation has been limited due to a lack of comprehension of the implications by the scientific comunity". So, who is responsible for squashing public notifications? Are the culprits the pharmaceutical companies who stand to lose billions of dollars of revenue as women discontinue using harmful birth control products? Is it the AMA? Will they ever acknowledge their complicity in having duped women into believing that the Pill is harmless when in fact it isn't. Where is the green movement or interest regarding our water ways when hormonal contraceptives are indicted as the pollutants?

8. The estrogen and progesterone compounds are not removed via the waste water treatment policies; nor are they removed with your kitchen sink drinking water filtering systems.

The real question becomes: Are human populations evidencing signs of contamination by excess estrogens? Hmmm, let's think whether there is an increasing feminization among male populations; increasing behavioral problems among both male and female populations; decreasing fertility rates; increasing fertility problems; increasing breast cancer rates (this used to be an old-lady disease but now younger and younger women are diagnosed with breast cancer); increasing incidence of PCOS and other endocrine problems; increasing diagnosis of low testosterone levels in men (requiring treatment with Viagra-like products); early age onset of puberty among girls; or early age onset of menopause among women?

Creeping evidence of all of the above is readily observed. Yes, it is true that younger girls are evidencing abnormally early breast development and early age onset of puberty. Yes, Viagra seems to be in great demand according to the TV ads. Yes, there are increasing fertility issues. As a NFP teacher, I see way more PCOS cases than in previous decades . Are these normal incidences which just show up as blips or are these abnormal blips becoming the norm due to over-exposed -to-estrogen populations?

Herman-Giddens concludes "it's virtually impossible to study since there is no place to find an unexposed population." Creepy! Is it time to protest what's in your drinking water? Just don't drink the tea they serve you at the rallies.

Thoughts & comments?

Nagging - never a good thing

2009-09-08T09:02:00.005-05:00

There is a lot of debate raging over the President's speech to the school children today. Here is my opinon with regard to this debate.

Some argue that the President is trying to indoctrinate the children - I would suggest that it takes a lot more than one speech to do that. Society in general is doing a pretty good job at that and not enough parents are concerned about the general indoctrination going on in schools, among peers, by the medical community, and others. So it seems a bit disingenous to worry about a 20 minute speech rather than worrying about the steady indoctrination of television, Hollywood, schools, school based clinics, etc.

Some parents worry about what the President is going to say. I'm not too worried; while he has made many recent blunders I think he will be careful here and not because the kids will be listening but because the parents will be. Another thing; any television address that lasts 20 -25 minutes is too long to hold the children or young adults captive. Their attention to detail will be long lost.

Let's take it to a practical level - even though many of us disagree with the President on many points I am sure that none of us disagree with every position or statement that he makes. In this light, let's be careful and fight only the worthy fights - the ones which affect faith and morals and leave the nagging aside when issues are frivolous or more worry than substance. We lose credibility when we constantly nag about frivolous or less significant matters. Most of us are wearied by nagging - even if we are the ones doing the nagging. We certainly are wearied when we are nagged against. The Biblical wisdom teaches us not to nag " our children lest they lose heart."

So regarding today's speech, I say the President should tell the kids to listen up, study, and graduate. He should have picked an evening forum rather than school time but he didn't and that is a privilege obtained from his election. I think we have far bigger issues to challenge the president about- for example selecting Czars with power who haven't been vetted by Congress or the American people; the financial affairs of the country; the effort to have the federal government fix life rather than letting states determine the well being of their citizenry; the right to life of all Americans - born and unborn; right to have and hold a job; and more. When we nag about every single issue we lose sight of the bigger fights. We also lose momentum.

Thoughts?

More about the Health Care Initiatives

2009-09-01T17:01:00.011-05:00

There is a lot of talk about how to fix the broken medical systems we have in this country. I would like to offer a few thoughts for obvious ways (but not talked about) to increase health and well being in this country. They include but are not limited to the following:

1. Mothers should practise exclusive and long term breastfeeding for their infants. Evidence shows that this practise gets infants off to their best start in life: physically, emotionally, cognitively, health-wise and for optimum growth. There are benefits for Moms as well. To know more read the Art of Breastfeeding.

2. Sex ought to be confined to loving, marital relations between a man and a woman. Promiscuity - a lost word - is proven to cause cervical cancer, STD's, emotional damage, divorce, and more. God's reason for inscribing the Sixth Commandment & the notion of marriage as permanent, loving, monagomous, and faithful.

3. Marilyn Shannon writes in her book Fertility, Cycles and Nutrition that the 80/20 rule will keep most of us very healthy- this means 80% of the emphasis on health needs to address eating right, getting exercise, and getting adequate sleep; it is essential to maintain a healthy BMI through eating properly and getting exercise.

4. Smoking and unhealthy alcohol consumption is bad for one's health. Just say No is important here as well. Illegal drug use is obviously a detriment to one's personal and public health. What happened to the war on drugs?

5. NFP is the ticket to maintaining health. Wonder what NFP is? Check out http://www.ccli.org/ for more information.

6. Forget about delaying pregnancy until the late 30's and early 40's. There are many complications, harms to health, and heavy medical costs associated with any combination of the following: delayed marriage, delayed pregnancy, birth control use, promiscuity, and artifical conception techniques such as invitro fertilizations, sperm donation. Wonder how much each invitro fertilization costs insurance companies? Zillions! Consider this piece of information found on the internet: "As the average IVF cycle charges are between $10,000 and $15,000, analysts have reported costs of about $35,000 per delivery in younger women, while medical costs per delivery are over $132,000 for women over 40. " The medical costs for the eight "octo" babies are many more times the costs of 8 healthy, term babies conceived naturally!

Some natural things to consider!

Town Hall Meetings

2009-09-01T11:11:00.004-05:00

We attended last night's town hall meeting with Congresswoman Betty McCollum at Macalester College for two reasons. We wanted to see what the meetings were all about and we also wanted the chance to express our opinions on the "state of the union". The first purpose was satisfied but the second was definitely not - our ticket number was never called out in the random selection process.

Curious to me was the fact that there was more rancor displayed while standing in line than displayed inside as various opinions were expressed. We were surprised by the fact that more people expressed either outright concern, caution, or reprimands in a heavily Democratic-leaning congressional district. All comments - regardless of position - were interesting and thoughtful and their stated opinions were well worth listening to! We are glad we attended.

We felt there were several noteworthy observations:

1. It was obvious that organized efforts came from the Democratic party - they had their perfectly coifed signs saying Thank you and We need Health Care Reform Now. Didn't see any "right wing" organized efforts as so often reported in the various media.

2. Our sign suggesting that the unborn, the elderly needed protections, and term limits for all politicians raised a number of "snotty" & off-based comments from people. One elderly man said he isn't worried about anything - a woman suggested the plump man beside me (who was obviously supporting our sign) "lo0ked like he needed an abortion!" It definitely brought out the worst in people - including myself. I left with less than a positive opinion about many fellow Americans! Mea Culpa.

3. Betty stated her opinion on the medical care bills but failed to explain what Obamacare covers. She stated "no one was trying to ram something through Congress; in fact there wasn't even a bill to consider yet". What was the 1000 page deal then? She also stated we don't need language regarding citizen benefit only because that's the way it is. She also stated that abortions would not be covered because it is like Medicare coverage right now. I am willing to bet that most politicians want to avoid the abortion debate & the citizen issue - they are satisfied in leaving it "temporarily understated" only to be tackled and pushed through another day. I hope my readers know that this is very similiar to the creation of school based clinics - they were never created to deal with sex issues according to the infamous Jocelyn Elders at a Senate hearing I attended years ago! Surprise, surprise - today they hand out contraceptives, do sex counseling, and more without parental notification - it is legal in the state of MN for minors to provide their own consent in areas of drug, alcohol, and sex matters!
When I questioned one woman about the details of the bill, her reply was that's the way of the legislature- details come later! Woe to us if that's the truth! Who of us would write a contract with the details later after securing the $ and the signatures!

Betty suggested that insurance companies were crooks - she didn't read the paper which stated that they are lobbying blue-dog Democrats hard, giving them money more than any other group for their war chests and the blue-dogs are accepting this money from these so-called crooks. Doesn't that make them a "crook" also? Is this calling the kettle black?

There were many more contradictory statements which leaves me wondering why? I left knowing nothing more!I still don't know what the heck this debate is really all about - is it economics, health care, insurance companies, medical care? Facts are few, emotions run high. Sales people know that they need a straight, clear message when selling a product - it's called the elevator talk. Politicians need this as well. One man summarized it well last night: while Corporations make money they can't take your home, your property, your money, only the Government can do that! Let's make sure the government takes from us what we want them to and doesn't take what we don't want them to!

On a brighter note- go see Julie and Julia; it's a great movie!

Modesty - What Is It?

2009-08-13T10:49:00.005-05:00

A number of talks entitled "Dressing for Dignity" have sprung up around the country as parents try to reign in the the sleek, low cut, sexy dressing standards created by our fashion industries. Even news anchors are often seen exposing way more skin and cleavage than previous generations allowed - a sign of the times. These styles have even crept into the designer clothing for younger and younger girls. Some parents wonder what all the fuss is about - others are very concerned when they think their teen is over-exposed. Our costuming is just one more area where the culture is dividing - and sharply.

I would like to capture a short "sermon" I recently heard - it should help drive home the most important reason for modesty. Modesty of dress, mannerism, behaviors, speech, and thought is included in this discussion.

God created man and woman to be different from each other in a very complementary way! A very easily understood example of this obvious complementarity is loving, marital relations. however, original sin caused sexual tension! Today, the sexual, emotional, psychological differences between the two sexes are most often portrayed in a negative way (Men are from Mars and Women from Venus) rather than highlighted as the manner in which men and women are attracted to each other, bond, and love each other. Few of us are interested in talking to ourselves each day - rather different personalities, thought processes are interesting, engaging, and worthy of debate.

The Fall of Adam and Eve were the original reason why tension exists between and among the sexes. The original design of man as protector, defender, explorer, and lover can easily erode to predator, attacker, user, and dominator. The orginal design of woman as nurturer, protector, queen and lover virtues are also easily eroded to opposing vices.

When man leans toward vice, it is the modest woman who helps pull him back toward virtuous living. If she has begun to lean toward vice, she will join him in surrendering to the flesh rather than the spiritual. When a woman respects herself, she does not give in to the siren call that suggests she allow herself to be used by a predatorial male.

Some women suggest that she should be able to dress anyway that she wants - if a man has a problem with cleavage that 's his problem! These women are assenting to disrespect and being used because that's what the predatory male does regardless of her feelings! Furthermore, she may even be using herself as a weapon against male weaknesses - to her advantage.

We are never to use each other or ourselves - we are to act as if we are (and we are) made in the image and likeness of the Creator. He is a lover not a user! And this is the reason we are to instruct our daughters in modesty - so they are respected and treated with dignity by all males.

A good litmus test of modesty is this. As a girl enters the room- what is the first thing the male looks at? If it's her face- that is a good sign regarding her dress. If he notices a body part first- other than her face - then she is inviting, inciting, and encouraging lust, disrespect, and being used. Most young girls do not understand that males are more visual than females - girls are more emotional and intuitive than males. This doesn't make one better than the other- it just makes them different. We are not to use the differences to divide, disrespect or coerece; rather we are to understand the differences so we can help each other get to the final destination- Heaven.

Stained Glass Windows

2009-08-03T09:34:00.010-05:00

Have you ever looked at the stained glass windows of a Church from the outside? They look rather ugly and uninteresting; some may wonder what the windows depict but most go about their way without considering the windows in much detail simply because there isn't much detail to be seen! From the outside vantage point, the stained glass windows look dark and imposing and even ugly!

Now, regard the stained glass windows as pre-figuring the Church itself. When having an outside vantage point, people fail to see the beauty within the Church. In fact, the Church may appear overly imposing, dark, unfriendly, cold, uncaring, certainly out of step with the outside world's point of view. The windows certainly don't look very special from the outside perspective! The Church opens its wide "portal" doors in hopes of attracting those who get a glimmer of its beauty (from the stained glass windows -figuratively and literally). It attracts the curious, the interested, and the open.

When someone steps inside the Church - both figuratively and literally - he or she sees the beauty of the stained glass windows for the very first time - the light streams through them re-creating them. The windows look incredibly different from the inside than they did from the outside. While light may surround the outside of the windows, it fails to expose the true beauty of the windows. A person with new faith will see a newness and a new-found beauty; they begin to appreciate the depth of the light within the Church. One never fully appreciates the Church's beauty when remaining on the outside looking in; it's only from the inside can we wonder in awe at God's truth and creation.

Until we have the opportunity to see the stained glass from the inside - where the light is allowed to re-create the windows - where the light underscores the imagery and reality of the Church, we fail to see and seek truth. When we remain on the outside, we will only see the "window's" flaws, the cracks or chinks in the windows, the need for tuckpointing, it's broken panes. But when inside the Church, we see things never before possible; we see depth, beauty, variety of colors (gifts), importance, significance, intensity, and necessity. It's from the inside that we can be awed by the stained glass; it's only from the inside that we can fall in love with the stained glass imagery and vibrancy. (sacraments, grace, moral and spiritual teachings, liturgical life, formation). We are all invited in to stay and experience the beauty and richness of the Stained Glass (the Church).

Think of this reflection the next time you go to Mass; study your Church's stained glass windows, regard them as God's invite to you to deepen your relationship with Him. He wants us all to grow in our faith, to renew ourselves, to unite ourselves to the Church. We are asked to draw in others as well. May we all be refined, renewed, re-stored to the Will of God.

Much of this reflection came from a homily I heard this past weekend; I thought you all may enjoy it as much as I did - just wanted to share it with you.

Check out my new release entitled: A Book For All Seasons. This book features beautiful, stained glass pictures which divide the various Liturgical Seasons of the Church Year. The readings and Gospels for each Sunday are given along with reflection questions, space to take homily notes so we can recall them later with family discussions. Finally, space is provided to reflect on the readings and the homily and write spitirual goals for the upcoming week. Check out http://www.fortifyingfamiliesoffaith.com/ for more information. This will make a great gift for yourself and your family and friends.

Vacations

2009-08-03T08:59:00.008-05:00

Did you know that the root word for vacation means to empty? Guess that implies that a vacation empties us from past work, duties, assignments, responsibilities, etc. I would argue that few vacations empty us - rather a vacation can take us on a new adventure filled with new sets of opportunities and even work/responsibilities.

For instance, last week we went up north and spent a week on a lake. Getting there meant we had to plan and pack our way up north. We had to make endless trips in and out of the house stuffing the car and boat. Once we were there, our kids spent the entire time beating their brains against their skull while flying over lake waves on a tube and skis. Finally the effects of motion sickness began to take over. In fact, headaches were common.

Isn't it interesting, how headaches, mosquitos, bugs, nasty biting flies, sunburn, water & waves, help us to relax and enjoy each other's company just that much more!

While it may seem like I am complaining, I am not! Several years back we hear a talk at a convention which emphasized the wisdom of boating with teenagers. It allows boys to assume that wholesome "piracy role and adventure. After hearing the talk, we looked into buying a boat - an older one fit our pocket book. We found one perfect for a family with three kids - ok we settled! While our old boat is certainly not the cadillac on the lake, it has not let us down! The speaker 's assessments of boating with teens was right on!

It has allowed out teens to defy gravity and catch the big ones - fish and waves - OK, the fish are not really that big but big enough. Our son enjoys feeling like the skipper and a pirate! (well sort of). My husband enjoys the thrill of speeding and turning fast - similar to feelings he had while riding his motorcycle years ago! I love being on the water rather than looking at it from the shore. We have all had a great time bouncing over waves, and then stopping to jump in and swim. Tubing is like one giant roller coaster which goes for hours and hours without stopping!

Vacations are great - however I remain skeptical about their ability to empty us. Instead I think they re-fill our "gas tanks" with positive energy and mood!

Parental Mistakes - Our recent one

2009-07-22T11:49:00.008-05:00

Recently, as parents, we made a big blunder. We took our kids to an R rated movie that was pure trash. Why didn't we leave? Why did we go there to begin with? What were we thinking? Maybe we should have been alarmed when we didn't see any other kids were in the audience - of course it was pitch black in the theater becuase we were a bit late. While I could give additional excuses for our blunder (with some validity), the truth of the matter is we were not diligent enough (as parents) to protect our children's innocence or even our own.

The movie gave us some talking points but it would have been better to have had the talking points without the visual imagery burned into our memories. Afterwards, it is fair to state, we all felt like we had walked through a garbage dump; it's stench and slime clinging to our memories. The movie was like porn - it's images remained long after we left the theater.

The very next day, our blunder was highlighted by our son's friend's parent when she asked me about the movie. Our mistake had indeed been discovered! Her son had been told by my son that "Mom laughed during the movie" implying I enjoyed it! Yes, I did laugh- parts of it were funny; needless to say, my son and I had to have a second discussion! The parent was interested in knowing about the movie because her son had been asking to see it; she was more diligent than us in that she had read the reviews, saw the ratings and had concerns about the movie. What followed was a great discussion; we each got to know the other much better! Unfortunately I felt convicted as I should have; my reputation deservedly received a bit of a tarnishing. Yes, it is a contradiction to promote chastity and take your kids to this movie!

All parents will make an occasional mistake here and there. We will need to pick ourselves up afterwards, reaffirm why that was a bad decision, make the decision to not repeat it again, and ask God's forgiveness for weakness and poor judgment. But there will be consequences as well to our mistakes.

It brings to mind a recent story about a young woman who decided to become a sister (she lives in Italy). After making her decision, a jilted boyfriend posted nude pictures/poses of her on the internet for a number of reasons. His motives and actions are notably ugly for a variety of reasons; nevertheless, they cause us to also question the motive and reputation of this young woman.

The moral of the stories are: truly we are our brother's keeper. We are all called to help each other stay on the straight and narrow path to our heavenly Father. Our sins will be revealed in either this lifetime or the next! I am indebted to the mother who asked about the movie - I appreciated her investigation into our decision. I was relieved that she didn't just write me off as a bad parent! I appreciated her remarks! She taught me an important lesson that I need to remember. I appreciated the reminder that our sins have a ripple effect- they extend to people we can't even imagine would be affected!

Thank you God for placing people in my life to remind me of you! thank you for trying to make me a better person. Help me be strong for my children.

Ok, I will finally admit to you the title of the movie: The Hangover! Yes, we are that stupid sometimes! Mea Culpa.

What's a Nihil Obstat?

2009-07-17T08:51:00.005-05:00

As a Catholic, I was aware of the Nihil Obstat and Imprimatur but unsure of their application for my books. Early on I had received counsel that since the books would be used by parents and teens, and not in classroom settings, I probably didn't need to submit the books to the censorship process within the Church regarding this certificate. However, I regretted not taking this extra step early on after trying to promote the book within diocesan and parish circles. People did want to know whether it passed the censorship process with regard to faith and morals.

So I decided to submit the books - after publication - to the censorship process and take my lumps. I wanted to know if the books contained any substantive errors with regard to faith and morals - a slip of one word here or there can impact this scrutiny. The Great News - which I am greatly relieved about - is that Daughters Forever, Sons Forever has received the Nihil Obstat certifcation! It's a relief knowing that I will not have to retract any paragraphs or sentences in this program.

I believe and understand that the Catholic Church has been given the authority by Jesus in matters of faith and morals. It is important that the Church scrutinize works which discuss faith and morals in order that they profess the true faith without error. (Catholic Catechism 890)

Each diocese in the Catholic Church has one or more censors which carefully review books such as mine - without charge - and give them the certificate if nothing therein is found to be contrary to the Faith (relevant Canon Law: "Title IV: The Means of Social Communication," ¶ 822-832)

The procedure should work like this: write a book, submit the manuscript (pre-publication) to the Diocesan Censor. A phone call to the Chancery office will help you determine who this person is. When the Censor gives his stamp of approval for the works , he notifies the Diocese who then notifies the author. If there are objections to parts or paragraphs, the author will have to change the work, resubmit the refreshed manuscript, and the review begins all over again.

After receiving the Nihil Obstat, the book is also sent to the Bishop for review. When a Bishop finds nothing objectionable in a work, he awards the "Imprimatur" which means, "let it be printed." When the book is written by a person who is a member of a religious order, the manuscript is first sent to his religious superior before going to the Diocesan Censor. The religious superior will give the book the stamp of Imprimi Potest; this means that the book can be printed. The work is then passed onto the Diocesan Censor.

The "Nihil Obstat" and "Imprimatur" are official declarations that a book is free of doctrinal or moral error. This in no way implies, that the Diocesan Censor or the Bishop agrees with the content, opinions or statements expressed in the book. It does not mean they necessarily like the book or that the book is without error regarding secular information. It certainly doesn't mean that the book is infallible! Rather, Nihil Obstat means that the doctrinal and moral teachings of the Church are not undermined, attacked or taught with error.

I am happy that Daughters Forever, Sons Forever has been given this certificate - now I can promote it with even more assurance. For those thinking about writing a book that will be promoted within the Church, take the time to have it reviewed by a Censor before getting it published.

Another Stop?

2009-07-06T12:15:00.003-05:00

Vacation stops elicit obvious emotional responses from our kids - young and old. They are either excited about the next stop and look forward to it or they complain or whine about having to take one more hike, get out for one more overlook, or make one more bathroom visit.

We must not let their "ignorance" or negative emotional outburts prevent that next stop! When they least expect it, a dreaded stop suddenly becomes the most interesting, the most challenging, the most rewarding place our children have ever seen!

This past weekend we were driving along Lake Superior aka Gitche Gumee and made "that one more stop" which created a thunderstorm of protest by a certain teenager of ours - he thought it would be the most boring ever. Our thick parenting hides refused to give in to his protests. Is he ever glad we didn't listen to him! It turned out to be the most adventurous stop "he has ever had" including the opportunity to jump off at least a 20 foot rock into the cold waters flowing into Lake Superior. We even captured it on video. Stunningly beautiful for all who visit the shores along Lake Superior! Refreshing for those who dare to enter its waters. An obviously God-made world to all who look with eyes and hearts that are open to His Creations.

Parents present their children with so many learning opportunities as they travel along the highways and biways of this great land. Stop to visit those historic sites & religious shrines including old, barely recognizable presidential centers, Civil War battle sites, Revolutionary War Sites, shrines, cathedrals, and other civic sites your kids thought would be boring! Don't give into their whining and pre-visit complaining. They never know what is truly around the next corner or stop that fuels their interests, peaks their thirst for knowing more about this country, their faith, or their ancestry.

As parents we can appreciate the fact that it is actually fun to learn new things every day. Parents, kindle that love of learning that is all too often lost upon many of the young people around us because it's going to be boring!

Fuel their sense of adventure by letting them learn about lives from long ago - have them hike those same trails, live those same simple lifestyles. And above all, know that many times our kids "doth protest too much" about things they simply do not know.

The Revolving Door Policies for College Students Home for Summer

2009-06-22T08:53:00.008-05:00

Do you yearn for your college-bound student to return home for the summer but begin to feel guilty as you look forward to the Fall when they go back to college. Do you wish Fall wasn't so far away? Do we have the same feelings with regard to our younger grade schoolers and high schoolers? Do you wonder where the connectedness went? How was it that we felt so in tune and harmonized to our little children but disconnect with our teens and older children? Is it natural to disconnect or is it a social expectation?

While I don't have answers for these questions, you may be interested to know that it's natural that just about right now many families begin to have adjustment problems with their home-bound students even while loving the fact that they are home once again. Furthermore, the "key lecture" we give our returning students during these adjustment periods often center around the following: reminding him/her that the world does not revolve around them, reminders to consider a "family" schedule, reminders of how to act appropriately around younger brothers and sisters; reminding our college-bound student to be "others" centered, rather than primarily self centered and self focused; reminding them of the importance of family; orienting them back to the family rather than self; reminding them to be helpful around the home rather than to be dependent on other's attention, care, and efforts; reminding them of their spiritual roots, the importance of prayer, Confession and the Church rather than being free-spirited.

These reminders seem especially important around 3-4 weeks after their arrival home. Are lectures orchestrated to occur at this time? No, but the timing of parental lectures is oddly similar; as parents we can "take" a bit of self-centered attitudes from our kids. However; as time goes on and the attitude doesn't "re-adjust" to include others, parents must rise to the occasion and "knock the student off their self-imposed pedestal" by reminding them they are not the center of the universe. This humbling of our students is necessary for their own sake. While we want our children to grow up and become "independent", it is important that we remind them that true freedom and peace comes from discovering and living according to God's will for their lives; peace does not generate in and of the world but from God.

Summer becomes just one more teaching opportunity for parents and one more learning experience for our young adult children who come back home to live. May you all have a great summer. Enjoy those children- life is short. May God Bless you and keep you all safe.

Why Do Women Talk So Much?

2009-06-05T09:55:00.008-05:00

Some husbands wonder how women can talk and talk and talk without tiring or losing interest in the subject matter. Maybe sometimes we women even wonder how we can talk so much without tiring! Well, now we know! A study shows that connecting emotionally with another friend helps to boost our moods and reduce or eliminate stress!

Scientists discovered that progesterone rises or falls depending on whom and what we are talking about. Neutral discussions do nothing for our female moods; in fact, the study showed that progesterone actually falls during such discussions. On the other hand, when women feel emotionally connected to someone via talking, then our hormone levels rise elevating mood and reducing stress.

Progesterone, a marker used to measure oxytocin levels, was studied. Oxytocin is often dubbed the love hormone because it is released during breastfeeding, during intimate times, and even during eye to eye contact. It is essential for building relationships and strengthening human bonding. This is partly why breastfeeding enables closer mother- baby bonding. It also helps explain the strength of the human bond between husband and wife.

Interestingly, the study demonstrated that increased progesterone levels predicted a increased willingness to risk one's life for another. It is important to note that progesterone elevates significantly during pregnancy; naturally this is the time when mothers must be willing to put their own well being secondary to the well being of their unborn baby in order for a successful outcome to the pregnancy.

Of interest to me was this statement: "the hormonal basis of social bonds enable people to suppress self interest* " This should beg further investigation into whether or not the artificial regulation of women's and men's natural hormone levels (via the Pill, hormonal contraception, hormonal growth therapies, sexual dysfunction therapies) pre-empt good social bonding and the suppression of self interest. Do these therapies stymie bonding? Do they increase self interest? Take a look around. It wouldn't be that far fetched to wonder if the effects of the Pill are much more than simple birth control measures! Perhaps they limit bonding. Perhaps these hormonal birth control measures drive down authentic love. Perhaps they increase self interest! This is what JP ll taught in the Theology of the Body discourses. This brilliant observation by the Pope years ago seems to be confirmed by hormone science studies.

What say you?
*Hormones and Behavior by Stephanie Brown reported in www.twincities.com

What Comes First- Aging Or Menopause?

2009-06-02T13:47:00.005-05:00

What comes first- menopause or aging? Does aging naturally result in menopause or does menopause cause a more rapid aging? This is the billion dollar question which must be asked by generation of women, men and science.

Menopause research could quickly and erroneously conclude that menopause causes negative aging; however, is this the proper order of events? The medical-pharmaceutical industries are betting big bucks on this as they search for ways to medicalize (control) menopause.

Different research sources regard menopause quite differently. Some research positions the menopuase state as unnatural due to longevity of women in today's post-modern generations. Previously, large groups of older women simply didn’t exist because many died prematurely- due to childbirth, illness, infection, and other causes. Today's women, in large measure, live up to one third of their lives after menopause! Our improved longevity is due to modernized childbirth and post partum care, better nutrition, antibiotics, superior sanitation measures, and enhanced health. Women live longer than before and they live longer as older women – therefore menopause is more apparent to the medical arena.

To assume that living longer is the problem or that menopause is unnatural because of longer life spans is simply faulty reasoning on top of faulty reasoning. It is faulty to presume that because menopause wasn’t "wide-spread” in previous eras, women weren’t meant to live for many years beyond natural menopause. Menopause is not a cruel joke for women who happen to have outlived their ancestors by several generations. Some scientists have remarked, very off point, that women are the only species to outlive fertility and thus menopause is unnatural! Their solutions to this problem are to control and over- medicalize menopause.

Medicalization of menopause attempts to stave off menopause or its effects & symptoms to an even older, unnatural menopausal age. If the medical arena assumes that menopause is a disease they look for therapeutic and medicalized treatment plans. As a result, hormone replacement therapies are considered the way to ward off menopause. However, the therapeutic paths forward are less clear to many women and doctors given the evidence from the Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) and the Heart Estrogen Replacement Study (HERS).

The results of these large menopause studies will be considered in a future blog.

Air Force Graduation Week

2009-06-02T13:40:00.002-05:00

Normally, I avoid blogging about personal, family matters; today bear with me as I “brag” blog about some personal memories and experiences from Graduation Week at the US Air Force Academy (USAFA). Our son, Michael, graduated this past Wednesday, May 27, 2009 from the USAFA. Michael was simultaneously commissioned as a second lieutenant- he now enters active military duty in the defense of our nation.

Before detailing the events of the graduation, let me take you down my memory lane. Over 40 years ago, my grandmother worked as a civilian at Ellsworth Air Force Base, Rapid City, SD. One day, she delighted us with tickets to the air show of the mighty Thunderbirds – little did I imagine then that today my son would have hopes of flying fighter jets. Furthermore, as little girls, my sisters and I would swing wildly back and forth while singing the following at the top of our lungs (you may recall this song was sung to the tune of the Air Force Song): “They took the blues from the skies/ and the pretty girls eyes/ and a touch of old glory too/ and gave it to the men /who proudly wear /the US Air Force Blues.” Today our son wears these blues.

A decade later, I came very close to joining the Air Force ROTC while attending college at UND – Grand Forks, ND. The physical and preliminary testing & paperwork were well underway; however a week prior to signing the papers, I received an offer from 3M Co. for a Student Co-Operative employment opportunity as a process engineer. It was during this co-op stint that I met my husband, Dave; following graduation, we married and both worked at 3M as engineers. Thus, today’s connection to the Air Force actually was obtusely aligned a long time ago.
Graduation Week flooded me with these memories and established new ones. Graduation week also re-emphasized how opportunities and life choices are often more momentous than we appreciate at the time. I know that Michael is a far better choice for the Air Force than I would have been! We are thankful for the path that God continues to provide for us all.

What was Graduation Week like? Well, it began with almost our entire family camping at the FAMCAMP on base of the USAFA; friends, aunts and uncles, nephews, cousins attended as well. While the weather was cold, rainy and troublesome, we endured. Not only did we endure, we enjoyed the moments filled with pomp and circumstance.

The week began with Sunday Mass in the Cadet Chapel. In place of the homily, the Catholic Chaplain welcomed Dr. Thomas Jones as a baccalaureate speaker. Dr. Jones is a scientist, pilot, author, former NASA astronaut, and Catholic. He was able to witness the beauty of the whole of creation- including the stars, planets, asteroids, and the earth while on his four space missions into orbit. Dr. Jones talked about his gratitude for the prayers for the safety of the flight prior to launch. Before one mission, he was particularly consoled by a mass reading from Jeremiah which promises that God protects us from danger… He also related a memorable moment during one space mission in which he and the two other Catholic astronauts (3 of the 5 astronauts on board were Catholic) received the Holy Eucharist at the moment when daylight suddenly flashed into the shuttle windows. The sudden brilliance underscores the nature of the Eucharist according to Dr. Jones and all Catholic believers. Furthermore, the beautiful blue earth underscored to him how the Blessed Virgin protects us with her blue mantle.

His mission walk in space reinforced how insignificant man is compared to the cosmos and to God’s glory; nevertheless we are lovingly created in the image and likeness of Almighty God. Dr. Jones ended with the caution that certain risk taking is necessary in a world fraught with problems and challenges; however, the risks and the benefits must be considered cooperatively. Jones feels we are in a risk averse culture but repeats the philosophy of JP II: be not afraid.
We were able to talk to several officer professors in the Physics/Meterology Department. They threw a wonderful open house for the graduating cadets who majored in these areas. Our son is now a meteorologist – he has wanted to be one for over a decade! We were also blessed to have the presence of a priest friend –Father Scott Carl-who said several daily masses during the week.

We had fun at a party thrown by our son and two other cadets: David Abraham and Joseph Atherton. Members of the different families were in attendance and it was a creative mix of good food, slide show, and conversation. The next night we were grateful to pin the shoulder boards on Michael during his commissioning ceremony. His commissioning ceremony took place at the Superintendant’s residence. This historic compound was built by Albert Carlton – a pioneer who made a fortune from the gold mines of Cripple Creek, Colorado.” After retiring to the Broadmoor, the Carlton’s wanted a summer home; they purchased property and built the home in 1930. The home was completed in 1931 and Albert died shortly thereafter. Mrs. Carlton added onto the property and made it her permanent residence. After her death, the property exchanged hands becoming a country club prior to being purchased by the federal government in 1954.

The compound features a number of exquisite, stucco structures built according to the “Spanish Colonial Revival Style; this includes classical iron work decorating the windows and balcony; harmony with the surrounding environment, gently sloping tile roofs, and continuity between the interior and exterior of the structure.” It was originally outfitted with furnishings from Mrs. Carlton’s European trips. We ventured into the dining room, the sitting room, the grounds, the game room, and more.

Graduation day felt like a festivity with tightened security. We witnessed the obvious presence of secret service agents, police dogs, and military police all around the grounds. This heightened security was due to the presence of Vice President Joseph Biden and the Secretary of the Air Force Michael B. Donley. VP Biden delivered the Graduation Address; the address was a mixture of politics, personal witness, and encouragement to the newly commissioned officers. He made a few blunders during the address; for instance he commented that while visiting Afghanistan the previous week he descended to 900,000 feet- none of us thought that was possible! He also poked fun at the President regarding Teleprompters. It was encouraging to learn that his son, Bo, is also serving in the military and is currently positioned somewhere in Afghanistan. Hopefully, he will be watching our sons and daughters backs as promised in part due to increased awareness of the needs of military personnel via his son’s experience.
Over 1000 cadets were called forward to receive their diplomas, shake the VP’s hand, and swear an oath to the country. This process took over 2 hours but was never boring! Within a split second of throwing of the hats, the mighty diamond formation of the Thunderbirds roared overhead without prior warning or sound. Their thunderous engines were clearly heard as they passed the stadium. The crowd cheered almost as loudly. The air show followed graduation; it was choreographed to wonderfully patriotic American songs. It was a grand finale to a wonderful day. My brother Kevin so profoundly questioned how these beautiful machines could also be so horrendously deadly. The F-16’s have delivered many bombs and missiles to enemy combatants.

These were the memories of Graduation Week. Fun, excitement, fatigue, cold, memories, pride filled the week. We are proud of Michael. Thanks to family and friends who have supported him over the years. Thanks to Kathy, Kevin, Patty, Brandon, Kaydance, Fr. Carl, Michelle & Kaan, Jackson, Kristian, Lindsay & John, Matthias, Kelly, Patrick, Kyra for coming to Graduation Week!

It's Time for Black and White

2009-05-21T08:59:00.003-05:00

My new release, entitled Black and White is now available. This book links the Ten Commandments to the Beatitudes found in Matthew's Gospel. The Black and White curriculum teaches about the Ten Commandments in a brand new way; the emphasis is on what we should be doing as Catholics.

The curriculum is perfect for every student; it is especially appropriate for those students who are preparing for Confirmation. It is an excellent tool for stamping/imprinting the Ten Commandments on our children's hearts.

Black and White and its parent/teacher guide are available on my website: http://www.fortifyingfamiliesoffaith.com/ and select Catholic bookstores around the country (including One More Soul.com.). I would like to invite those who are attending the MN Home School conference, May 28 & 29th, to please feel free to stop by my table, introduce yourself and browse through my books designed to fortify families.

For your information, this is an excerpt from the introduction of Black and White:

"Organizations need fundamental, basic constitutions in order to grow and thrive. These provide foundation, basic structure, purpose, mission, and vision. These documents give an institution’s “followers” – i.e. their members - reason to belong, support, and subscribe to the organizational directives.
The Church also has charters, constitutions, and working documents. Most of these are divinely ordained rather than humanly crafted. God has provided the Church with the Ten Commandments, the inspired Bible, and its ecclesiastical structure. Parish communities have sprung up from these basic foundations.
People need structure and organizational directives – especially moral ones - for their personal, social, and spiritual well being. Without direction, anarchy and decadence become likely. All of society needs moral laws to dampen natural selfishness and to provide direction.
Black and White examines God’s moral codes found in the Old and New Testament and the Church’s instruction in the principles of Christianity via the Catechism of the Catholic Church. This book in effect blends God’s moral code found in the Bible with contemporary Catholic instruction. It considers what the commandments and the Church bid us to do as believers. Often people consider what the Ten Commandments forbid rather than considering what we are called to do as Catholics and Christians. As disciples of Christ we are to arm ourselves with virtue and avoid vice and temptation. This book provides a tool for that type of reflection. Black and White is also a type of an examination of conscience booklet. It focuses on what we should do rather than what we should not do. It takes a good hard look at the sins of omission. You will learn more about the sins of omission in the pages to come. "

It's Black and White

2009-05-21T08:46:00.003-05:00

My new release, entitled Black and White, is now available. This book links the Ten Commandments to the Beatitudes - it emphasizes what we should be doing as Catholics. A Parent/Teacher guide is also available; this guide outlines each lesson plan and includes a test and answer key.
The Black and White curriculum teaches the Ten Commandments in a new way; too many of our teens don't know the Ten Commandments even though it should be stamped on every Christian heart. This curriculum attempts to change that! This book is designed for students enrolled in CCD or Confirmation classes, or other religious education programs. This curriculum can be used in the home or in class room instruction. It has the Nihil Obstat Certification.
the curriculum can be ordered online at www.fortifyingfamiliesoffaith.com. For those attending the MN Home School Conference at Macalester College May 28 - 29, 2009, I will be there to showcase this work and Daughters Forever, Sons Forever. See you there.

Using Ultrasound to Identify Lactating Breast Problems

2009-05-18T10:21:00.000-05:00

IDENTIFYING LACTATING PROBLEMS VIA ULTRASOUND TECHNOLOGY Part 3of 3

This week’s blog will focus on breast problems and Ultrasound technology. Identifying a breastfeeding problem is the necessary first step toward its resolution.

1. Lumps in the breast are never considered normal - even during pregnancy and lactation. They should be investigated properly - if the reason is unkown - using Ultrasound technology; in fact Ultrasound screening is now considered the first choice of methods used for investigating unknown breast lumps. Ultrasounds can differentiate between a cyst or fibroadenomas (tumors) even during lactation.

2. Breast tumors are uncommon - yet identifable - during pregnancy or lactation. Biopsy of the tumor is necessary to learn whether it is benign or malignant; ultrasound technology cannot pinpoint whether a tumor is benign or malignant.

3. Breast cancer is rare among pregnant and lactating women – the reported rates vary from 1/3000 (0.033%) women to 1/10000 (0.01%) women. Symptoms usually begin before or during pregnancy; increased mammary blood flow during pregnancy and lactation is thought to accelerate the growth of tumors that are present.

4. Galactoceles (dilated terminal ducts (ductules)) are the result of an obstruction of a milk duct- this obstruction may be due to a lesion or inflammation. Aspiration of the ductile using ultrasound guidance is both diagnostic and therapeutic.

5. Plugged ducts normally show up as a tender lump on the breast - usually it is not accompanied by redness or fever. Suspected causes include abrupt decreases in a breastfeeding baby’s feeding pattern, underwire bras, restrictive clothing or scarring due to an earlier breast surgery or infection. Recently, selective secretory immunoglobulin (SSI) A deficiency has been identified in women who have recurrent blocked ducts - further research is needed. Treatment of plugged ducts include massage of the lumpy (nodular) area and increased frequency/length of breastfeeding. Ultrasounds can be used to follow the plugged duct; needle aspiration of the plugged ducts is used when it is necessary to speed up the resolution of the problem and pain.

6. Abscesses can be identified via ultrasound; furthermore, ultrasounds are frequently used to help guide physicians drain abscesses, and for followup after breast procedures. Abscesses rarely (3%) occur after a bout with mastitis.

7. Breast Engorgement normally occurs within 2 – 5 days after giving birth. The treatments to be used to alleviate engorgement include cold compresses and frequent breastfeeding. Severe engorgement may compromise a mother’s milk supply by causing nipple trauma or mastitis.

8. Mastitis is an inflammation of the breast; an infectious case of mastitis can occur due to the entry of pathogens including staph, strep or e-coli or it can be the result of a non-infection. Pathogens enter the breast via the nipple fissures - these fissures are often the result of having sore nipples or other nipple trauma. Non infectious mastitis is also possible due to blocked ducts, engorgement, or physical injury to the breast; these problems can lead to localized inflammatory response of the breast tissue. Monitoring mastitis with ultrasound technology is helpful; the monitoring is helpful for showing resolution of the problem.

9. Ultrasound imaging is considered to be the most appropriate, initial, investigative tool to use to evalutate problems such as those listed above. If any of you have unresolved or ongoing breast problems after birth, consider "getting thee to an ultrasound.”

Using Ultrasound Technology to Identify Breast Problems - even while breastfeeding

2009-05-15T09:58:00.000-05:00

IDENTIFYING LACTATING PROBLEMS VIA ULTRASOUND TECHNOLOGY Part 2 of 3

Last week you learned that the Ultrasound Technology has greatly improved making it a viable option for identifying breast related-breastfeeding difficulties.

Ultrasound imagery has also revealed the following:
1. Breast tissue changes are significant during pregnancy and lactation. Previously it was believed that the glandular breast tissue - rather than adipose (fat) tissue- became the dominant tissue during pregnancy/breastfeeding. Studies show that proportion of glandular tissue increases more than adipose tissue; however, it is not necessarily true that a pregnant/breastfeeding breast has more glandular tissue than adipose tissue. Evidence shows that the proportion of glandular tissue to adipose tissue varies greatly among women; in fact, only 20% of a select group of women had more glandular tissue than adipose tissue.
2. Breast investigation requires using the highest resolution of the imaging technologies.
3. Ultrasound research does not need to compress the lactating breast; in fact, compression interferes with the ultrasound results. Compression is a major discomfort of mammograms.
4. Ultrasound technology should first survey the entire breast for any abnormalities. When an abnormality is detected, targeted ultrasound zeroes in on the problem area.
5. Nipple piercing and nipple surgery can affect the milk flow; these procedures can reduce the necessary blood flow within the lactating breast. In fact, research demonstrates that mammary blood flow, necessary for milk production, can decrease by 66% of what it should be. Ultrasounds of the nipple- areola can reveal reduced blood flow.

6. Lactating mothers should breastfeed her baby or express milk prior to an ultrasound; an “emptier” breast produces better results.
7. Mammary blood flow doubles by 24 weeks into a pregnancy; this blood flow continues to be elevated throughout full lactation. The average mammary blood flow varies with women.

8. It is normal to experience mammary blood flow variation between the breasts of one woman. Breasts are frequently asymmetrical in size, shape or milk production.
9. The 24 hour mammary blood flow required to produce one liter of milk is believed to be similar to other mammalian species. The ratio is 500:1 (500 liters of blood flow per 24 hour period to is required to produce 1 liter of milk).
10. Milk ejection signs include: sensations of pins and needles in the breast, milk leaking from the nipple, pain pressure, and the maternal feelings of warmth or nausea.
11. "There has been little investigation of the lymphatic drainage of the lactating breast despite its importance in engorgement and mastitis. "

Stay tuned for more next week....

Life & Death - our mysterious path to Heaven

2009-05-11T10:46:00.005-05:00

We (Dave & I) are driving sadly away from a funeral of someone that we were blessed to have called a friend. It is surreal that Giselle has passed from this life – she was so young! Hers was a peaceful transition to a new birth - eternal life that will be free of any aging, additional cancer, illness, physical pain, and earthly concerns. Nevertheless, she will be sorely missed.
The pastor’s words during the funeral homily are worth noting - I will try to capture some of them in this posting.

Giselle spent her whole life serving God and the family that He helped her "co-create" with Andy. She lovingly, joyfully, and willingly served her family and God - she knew that this mattered. She knew how to love and trust. While we frequently and erroneously try to canonize people at their funeral- her pastor believed that in this case it was ok - he believed that Giselle is already enjoying the presence of our Lord. I think so too. Why? There were many signs…

Giselle exuded joy, peace, love, faith, charity, fortitude, temperance, self control, and, patience in life and also during her battle with cancer. She readily offered up her suffering- and it was real- for some very special intentions. She didn’t look back when asked to forfeit her life despite leaving behind a loving husband and five young children who will miss her greatly. Regardless of her undying love for them, she loved God more. This is the life of a saint.

Furthermore, Giselle died with great dignity, acceptance and peace. She understood what it meant to offer up her suffering - she commented that if it helps anyone or anything (and she believed it did) she would gladly do it all over again. The last hours - when told there was nothing else they (doctors) could do - she wrote down that she was ready to see God face to face. When asked if she was afraid, she wrote that she wasn’t – and she wasn’t! She welcomed death knowing that in dying she would be born to eternal life.

Her battle against cancer was mounted courageously even while accepting the fact that death was highly probable. Giselle told us that she could accept God's plan whatever it was ; furthermore, she accepted His plan without asking "why me?"

Giselle painstakingly wrote thoughts and love notes in a journal after learning that her odds weren't that great. She did this for several reasons- she knew that her words would provide a testimony to her faith, a lasting legacy to her husband and children, and an encouragement to her family after she wasn't there to talk to them directly. She loved Andy and the children.

Giselle had a devotion to Our Lady- she died in May - the month traditionally dedicated to Mary.

It has been said that God asks mothers especially - to not look back- to let go of their babies. Giselle did that - she let go because she loved God. She also was able to let go because she had fully experienced authentic love on earth with her husband and children - she had no regrets. She had learned to love with her whole heart, mind, and will. She had learned to love righteously – her love and life became ordered by faith-filled priorities.

The priest issued a warning to all of us who grieve her passing – but especially to Andy and the children. He reminded the children that they have received the faith from their mother; they are now responsible for growing this faith in the days, months and years ahead despite bearing enormous loss and the pain of separation. They are called to be saints like their mother. Surely, they will be tempted by Satan to despair of God’s love in the days ahead. They will be tempted especially on days when the loss hurts so badly. Surely, Satan will tempt all of us by reminding us that God took Giselle when she was young and active - we will be asked to consider why God couldn't have waited. Satan will paint God as missing in action (MIA) or AWOL (absent without leave) or even selfish for taking Giselle to Himself before we were ready to let her go. He will remind the children that God took Giselle before their graduation, their wedding day, the birth of Giselle's first grandchild.... He will tempt them to be angry with God for taking her before they were ready to let her go.

In truth the real question is this: are we ever ready to let someone go? Truth be told, the answer would be no. God, in His wisdom, took Giselle when she was ready. The rest of us need to get ourselves ready.

God will ask all of us in the days and months ahead: do we love Him? Do we trust Him? Will we honor Him? Only God understands why Giselle died May 3, 2009 and was dedicated to Him on May 8, 2009. May none of us despair or grow bitter with her departure. May God Bless Andy and the kids with grace and hope during their intense mourning. May they grieve like St. Peter. May we all mourn with righteousness.

Andy and Giselle demonstrated authentic love- they helped countless marriages with their NFP instruction in class, in person and on the air waves. What they did mattered to God. He blessed Giselle with countless gifts of grace that enabled her to endure the suffering and accept her death.

Andy and the kids can surely know God's love because He graced them for a little while with a saintly wife and mother. What more could they ask for or have received?

On a final note, after the reception we were gently reminded by a faith-filled old man (he describes himself as old- he's 85) as he witnessed to the beauty of marriage. Dr. Busam told us that we will not be able to fully experience Andy's pain unless we have also lost a spouse. He went on to say that " it is true - when we marry, we become one body. When our spouse dies, we are literally cleaved in half! Oh the pain is tremendous and the suffering untold. Furthermore, we never really heal from the loss. "

So let us all pray for marriage which is under attack today. Let us pray for all widows and widowers. And let us pray especially for Andy and the kids in the days and months ahead.

Using Ultrasound Technology to Identify Lactation Problems

2009-05-11T09:41:00.006-05:00

IDENTIFYING LACTATION PROBLEMS VIA ULTRASOUND TECHNOLOGY Part 1 of 3

The Art of Breastfeeding advocates that breastfeeding is best for baby, mother, father, and society. Nevertheless, some women will encounter difficulties with breastfeeding due to either mechanical or behavioral problems as outlined in the book- what about them?
Mechanical breastfeeding problems can involve the breast itself including engorgement, mastitis, or other situations. The International Breastfeeding Journal recently published an article, dated April 29, 2009, on the effective use of ultrasound technology to identify breast problems while lactating. The title of the article was Ultrasound Imaging of the Lactating Breast: Methodology and Application.
The article points out the problems of using Mammography or Galactography to analyze breast/lactation problems. In the first case, increased glandular tissues and secretion of breast milk during lactation make radiographs difficult to interpret accurately. Furthermore, Galactography – which involves injecting contrast material into the duct orifices of the breast nipple- offers only limited information / views of the ductal system decreasing its usefulness. Also, Galactography; which injects foreign "dyes" into the breast; increases the possibility of breast infection. Previously, Ultrasounds weren't any more helpful for investigating lactating breast complications. Increased breast densities and accumulation of the milk during lactation rendered the older ultrasound images useless. Today however, improved ultrasound image resolution makes it possible to identify breast problems -even for lactating women.
The article cited many interesting facts that I thought you might be interested in reading. For example, recent breast research has revealed the following :
1. Many women may have far fewer main breast ducts than previously thought- most text books cite that women normally have at least fourteen.
2. Furthermore, dissections of breasts of women who had died while breastfeeding did not support previous assumptions made about the lactiferous sinus ; rather, the dissections revealed that the ductal branches merge into one main collecting duct very close to the nipples.
3. Milk ducts only distend at the time of milk ejection accommodating the transport of milk to the infant rather than storing milk for removal.
4. These new findings provide clarity to the operation, anatomy, and purpose of the various parts of the breast. You may wonder why this type of information is important. It is important that the various pathways of breast milk be identified and understood in order to accurately assess lactating breast problems. Furthermore, this information is necessary when reading and interpreting mammograms or ultrasounds; this furthers disease identification and resolution of breast problems. In the next several blogs about ultrasounds, you will read how ultrasound technology has helped identifty problems of the breast during lactation.

Abortion and the President

2009-05-04T14:24:00.005-05:00

During President Obama's 100 Days In Office Address, he recounted his personal philosophy regarding abortion. The President answered a question about FOCA (Freedom of Choice Act) by first stating that abortion was an ethical and a moral dilemma - an interesting admission! He then went on to state that a woman was much better equipped to consider the moral and ethical implications of abortion than Congress or the Courts. Too bad, using his logic, that both have already weighed in on the matter and pronounced abortion to be legal.

President Obama obviously believes in one's ability to have a fully informed and operative personal conscience - this is not an uncommon philosophy today. But, let's really examine women's ability to personally assess the ethical and moral nature of abortion when experiencing a crisis pregnancy.

First, crisis pregnancy infers that it (the pregnancy) occurred under less than ideal circumstances; either a contraceptive method failed, the mother is unmarried, a woman was raped, or she is involved in a relationship in which pregnancy is feared and/or unwanted by herself, her husband or boyfriend, or casual acquaintance. In any case, there is pressure to abort the newly conceived life by the one who fears or dreads the pregnancy. This could easily include the mother -to-be herself, her boyfriend or husband, co-workers, fellow students, or parents of the pregnant woman.

Overt pressure clouds someone's ability to reason properly. Sin also clouds our ability (conscience) to reason properly. It is fair to state that a "sin(s)" was involved in the resulting "crisis"pregnancy. When a woman is unmarried but sexually active, she and her partner commit sins against chastity. Married couples who resent a pregnancy fail to love each other authentically. Rape is an aggression against an innocent person. Therefore, most will agree that some type of unloving action occurred between two persons when a woman winds up with a crisis pregnancy. This doesn't mean that good can't result from the pregnancy, with God all things are possible.

Recently, a commentary reminded me how sin clouds our intellect and our ability to reason properly while disposing us to further sin. Pope Benedict teaches that we see Christ - not with our eyes - but with our souls and our hearts. Only when our souls are pure, are we able to see Him clearly. Only when we see Him clearly, are we able to reason properly. Sin calcifies (hardens) our hearts making it difficult to see or respond to God as we should.

Therein lies the problem with President Obama's statement. None of us are able to see or reason clearly while in the state of sin. While it is nearly impossible for the Courts or Congress to make truly righteous judgements or laws, I disagree when Obama states that a mother facing a crisis pregnancy is best equipped to make the right decision.

When faced with a crisis pregnancy, the mother- to - be must first look to the wisdom of the Church and the righteous example of the Blessed Virgin Mary who faced pregnancy as an unmarried woman. Although Mary had a holy pregnancy, she nonetheless had to face many of the social pressures facing today's unmarried mothers. Only when we depend on God and His Church, can we rest assured of finding the right answers in the right places.

Pass this article on to someone who you think may benefit from it.

Menopause: friend or foe?

2009-04-27T15:16:00.005-05:00

Menopause: friend or a foe? Should we look at menopause as formidable and difficult or insignificant with no great concerns? Some consider menopause to be a cruel joke of nature; others find comfort with the inauguration of the menopause. Which is it?

Attitude is all important – when we fear something it will likely be more worrisome than it needs to be. Research has shown that young girls who fear menarche (the first menstruation) are more likely to suffer from painful menses and other negative symptoms. It seems likely that women who dread or are unprepared for menopause may experience more negative menopause symptoms as well. One researcher points out that “women process information internally and in relation with others.” [1] I recall the words of my doctor as we discussed menopause. He wisely advised me to age gracefully whatever the circumstances. His advice struck a chord with me; it invited me to explore the concept of aging gracefully.

How does one age gracefully? The late Pope John Paul ll’s summoned us to not fear; his appeal resonates for those trying to age gracefully.

Aging gracefully means learning to set and balance realistic expectations and goals for one’s state in life using appropriate tools and knowledge. It means living healthily; keeping one’s eyes fixed on God; maintaining hope, faith and trust in God; and accepting our aging as part and parcel of living. When we are not aging, we are not living! Our energy needs to be focused on re-balancing our psychological, spiritual, physical, emotional, psychological and cognitive dimensions whenever we face a disrupting force or transition stage in life. To age gracefully means aligning our whole self in a positive fashion. The menopause experience must be examined in light of all the dimensions which wrap up and are part of our human person.

Research on menopause is both interesting and troubling. It is stunning just how much science does not know about the female body – young or old! Many studies cite common experiences or complaints that some women experience some of the time during their menopausal journey; however, no studies can pinpoint with any certainty the one experience or the one symptom that is common for all women who undergo menopause. Nevertheless, the medical community has come up with a "one shoe fits all" approach to treating menopausal symptoms or problems.

Couples must face the adventures of life together – including aging. Most studies fail to examine how spousal attitudes, experiences, questions, fears, or, hopes impact the menopausal woman. Readers discovered in my other book, the Art of Breastfeeding, that the husband is his wife’s most important support and ally to help her begin and continue breastfeeding with success. Similarly, women approaching menopause need supportive and informed husbands willing to help her investigate, problem solve, make sound decisions, and stay positive about life in general. Husbands are often the key to getting necessary support when wives are struggling with severe or complicated menopausal symptoms, problems, or, misconceptions. Husbands also need to understand the basics of menopause and it’s consequence to fertility as it relates to their mutual commitment to Natural Family Planning.

Similarly, wives need to understand what is happening to their husbands as they age. Women will be called on to help their husbands face male aging. The husband needs a supportive and informed wife just as she needs a supportive husband. Both must be willing to help the other investigate, problem solve, make sound decisions, and, stay positive about life in general.

Understanding the journey through fertility to pre-menopause, perimenopause and menopause is fairly complex . Menopause is not a one-day event; it is a journey, a process, a transition due to aging. It impacts fertility permanently. Most women live one third of their lives beyond menopause.

Menopause has become over-medicalized for a number of reasons; these will be explored in a later blog.

Menopause is part of God’s plan and design; it allows women and men to take a moment, to pause and think about their lives before plunging ahead into the next developmental stage called middle age. This pause gives people time to consider things like what they have accomplished thus far, what their values are, how influential they are with those they love, and other important matters Pondering these questions allows us to think about what we would change if we could. It allows us to question our entire life experiences.

Aging actually begins the instant we were created. While aging seems to speed up over time, it doesn’t. We age steadily and constantly. Use the menopause experience to examine your faith, your hope and your love for God. Use this menopause to examine how well you love your spouse. Consider where you have been and where you want to go in life.

Thoughts or comments? More next week.

[1] P. 47 Journey to Cessation p. 47

Designer Baby: Part Three of three

2009-04-23T13:13:00.003-05:00

Oh the conundrums that "science" generates when it tries to artificially reproduce human life.... let's examine a few.

Consider the number of "test-tube" babies who will never know their biological brothers, sisters, or "parents". Eventually, two may meet, fall in love, and plan to marry without realizing their in-vitro connection.

What do we do about the myriad of frozen embryos awaiting an open womb? Perhaps the only moral resolution is allowing the "forzen' life to naturally decay in the frozen state; however, when does that occur? How long?

Did you know that a baby was artificially produced with the intention of using him for treating an older sibling's health problems? (Nash, 2000)

The advances in artificial reproduction have gone beyond servicing life - these artificial advances service opportunity, materialism, and consumerism.

Dr. J. Steinberg- a designer baby doctor- recently stated the following: “Many countries do not allow designer babies; the US has no legislation prohibiting these scientific procedures… What do you think I see when I visit those countries? I see a bunch of people with Down Syndrome walking around!” Take his statement at face value. Steinberg obviously thinks that babies born with Down syndrome are a liability. He is talking about our beloved youngest daughter - and many other wonderful individuals.

InVitro fertilization is a vice and it invites additional vice; it is no wonder the Church declares it to be an illicit procedure.

Breastfeeding: Best for Mothers

2009-04-22T08:39:00.002-05:00

One of the priniciple themes put forth in The Art of Breastfeeding is this: Breastfeeding is best for baby, mother, father, and society. Reasons are provided that "prove" and support my thesis statement. It was interesting to read the recent (4-22-09)St. Paul Pioneer Press article entitled: Moms who breast-feed see benefit, study finds."

Breastfeeding studies prove over and over that breastfeeding is best for baby - but not just babies. The mothers benefit as well as shown by a new large study showing that women who breastfeed have decreased risk for developing high blood pressure, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease decades after discontinuing breastfeeding.

As with other studies, the length of time a woman breastfeeds is important - the longer she breastfeeds the greater the benefits.

Naysayers suggest that the breastfeeding benefits may not be directly related to breastfeeding; rather, they suggest that women (who breastfeed) may lead more healthful lives- they take better care of themselves. If it is true that breastfeeding mothers take better care of themselves, good for them! Perhaps they intuitively understand that what and how they eat affects the quality of their breastmilk - therefore, they eat better because it is best for baby!

Either way, breastfeeding benefits mom and baby. But guess what, it also benefits dad and the whole of society as well. Breastfeeding is really the gold standard for feeding - everyone is better off practicing exclusive and continued breastfeeding.

What About Menopause?

2009-04-20T09:52:00.008-05:00

Beginning next week, I will share with my readers new and pertinent information about menopause. I will also stay committed to posting information and discussions about breastfeeding, parenting, special needs issues and more. Stay tuned.....

You may be interested to know that several years ago, I was invited to subscribe to Sage Pub - this is a great online resource for writers and researchers. It gives people like me easy, unfettered access to journals, papers and abstracts, and other publications for a variety of areas and disciplines. Having access to this online "library" has opened up information for me that I would not otherwise have easily obtained. It has been great having this access! It helps me blog more intelligently about the topics of interest.

The source of "scientific" information facilitated the publication of my first two books: Daughters Forever, Sons Forever & The Art of Breastfeeding. I have begun collecting research for another book entitled: Daughters Forever, Sons Forever Off to College! The box-full of information awaiting me is getting ever deeper and wider! A full list of my books can be found on http://www.fortifyingfamiliesoffaith.com/.

Please let me know if you have any particular questions or curiosities with regard to menopause, breastfeeding, or parenting, or any other related subject - I will try to get a discussion going on that point as well. Hope you join in the discussions! Please feel free to forward any blogs to family or friends. Let's get some great discussions going!

The Designer Baby: Part Two of Three

2009-04-14T13:11:00.001-05:00

In the last posting on this topic, we discussed briefly about the fruits or results of In-vitro Fertilization; today, let’s look at the concept of the Designed Baby.

Designer babies are here! While other nations ban sex selection except for “medical purposes,” couples are taking advantage of America’s morally neutral stance with regard to artificial fertilization, reproduction and designer babies. There is a rush of couples from other nations - which prohibit sex selection except for medical reasons - to facilities like Dr. Jeffrey Steinberg’s Northridge Hospital Medical Center. They come to this clinic to get their boy, their girl, or their “perfect” blue-eyed, blonde baby. They come from here and abroad; some come to Steinberg’s clinic from China, Canada, Australia, Mexico and some European nations. They come because they afford to be picky about their progeny.

Steinberg is proud to offer sex selection services to infertile couples; he is happy to sell consumer eugenics to his conditional parents-to-be. They are conditional because they don’t want certain babies. He offers embryo selection, sex selection, and the prevention of sex-linked or inherited disease to these couples. He offers services that need to be confronted and contended with.

The Caiphas effect is readily obvious when proffered opinions state: “sex selection of embryos is clearly ethical when the method is used to prevent genetic disease but not the choosing of one gender over the other!” Designing babies fails to respect all life - it also dishonors the natural human reproduction processes. The immorality of these artificial reproductive processes should be obvious when the clinics also offer low interest, 100% financing complete with discounted travel packages which include dining, and hotel reservations. This should bother even the conditional parents-to-be - but it doesn't seem to.

Artificial reproduction crossed the bio-ethical line when it moved from assisting natural fertilization to replacing natural fertilization. It crossed the fine moral line when it failed to support and respect all human life.

Artificial reproduction is designed for a very small group of infertile couples who demand and expect pregnancy and view pregnancy as a right rather than a God-given privilege that needs to be safe-guarded and respected.

Artificial reproduction attacks the very entity it is trying to create: new life! It uses Caiphas’ logic to justify certain actions. It treats the creation of human life as a commodity, a consumer good, a profit- making endeavor or a manufacturing process. Soon quality control laboratories will spring up to monitor the “quality” of the designing baby techniques.

In an article from Reason Magazine, Greg Beato ask (3/24/09): “could it be that parents determined to micro-manage their progeny’s eye color are the ones who care the most?” His question is really just an empty pundit because it fails to ask a full question. The real question would ask what these parents care the most about! Could it be that parents determined to micro-manage their progeny’s eye color are the ones who care the most about the intelligence of their baby? Their baby’s looks? Their baby’s height? Their baby’s physical, mental, health characteristics? Could it be that parents determined to micro-manage their progeny’s eye color are the ones who care about – are the most picky about - who they are willing to love? In other words, are the parents, in fact, conditional parents-to-be or caretakers? Is their quest to find the perfect baby because anybody less than perfect just isn’t worth loving and caring for?

These are the real questions that haven’t been asked.

Everyone needs to know that design-a-baby procedures, like design the teddy bear in the shopping malls, occur at $20,000 per procedure. Meanwhile, babies, like my daughter, are especially targeted for extinction! Couples are practicing sexism without being called on the carpet for this prejudice when they only want a boy or a girl. Individuals or couples are hoping to create “genetically superior” offspring by using pre-selected sperm and /or eggs without realizing that even superior offspring can fail miserably in the game of life. More next time...

The Culture of Life Institute

2009-04-09T13:19:00.001-05:00

A lethal war is being waged against unborn babies with special needs. This war is instigated out of the sight, minds, and consciences of most Americans. It is waged by physicians who believe that “designer babies” are the solution to the prevention of babies born with Down Syndrome or 4,000 other genome “problems.”

The war against the unborn babies with mental and physical birth defects is made easier by those who insist that private schools don’t have enough money to fund students with special needs. It is ameliorated when others dismiss the fact that special needs babies are created equal to “extra-ordinarily gifted children” in God’s sight. We understand these issues; our daughter Kyra has Down Syndrome.

The silent war against the elderly is another sinister war; this one is waged by disparaging the elderly people’s influence, importance, and worth. This war hopes to “re-assign” the aged population to elderly “reservations,” assisted living places, or nursing homes that are essentially devoid of children, grandchildren, close connections with their families, hope, life, and service to others.

I have a dream -- someday I hope to help start a Culture of Life Institute. This Institute would open its school doors for my Kyra and all the other Kyras of the world. But it would also welcome their brothers and sisters, grandparents, and others. This Institute (K-12 independent Catholic-school/assisted living/nursing home community) would re-unite the old to the young; it would re-connect families; it would provide opportunity for the elderly to give of themselves to the young children; it would allow children to give back to the elderly; it would be a lively place full of example, faith, life, and learning.

If you are interested in helping us carry out this special enterprise, please send me a note.

The Designer Baby: Part One of Three

2009-04-07T13:08:00.001-05:00

The news has been filled with information about the Octo-mom, Designer babies, and other salacious information, yet the ethics and/or morality of the technologies used to create the stories remains unexplored in any meaningful or thoughtful manner. This post will attempt to engage the reader in this type of examination.

The procedure which makes multiple fertilizations possible – beyond what nature allows - is called In-vitro Fertilization. This reproductive technology allows infertile couples and others to “achieve” pregnancy. n-vitro Fertilization occurs outside of a mother’s body; multiple eggs are gathered and fertilized with pre-washed or pre-screened sperm; this generates multiple (eight and more) fertilized embryos with each in-vitro procedure. Invitro Fertilizations are the artificial means used to “make a baby”; it is an illicit procedure according to the Catholic Church and its reasons for this declaration run deep and wide.

Recall how Caiphas, the Jewish high priest, justified the crucifixion (sacrifice) of one (Jesus) for the greater good of all. His illogic, misguided, and immoral justification is duplicated today when we use illicit methods, such as In-vitro Fertilizations, as justification for the greater good they produce, i.e. giving couples what they want – pregnancy. Procedures which facilitate the natural processes of reproduction are normally not illicit; however, artificial procedures which replace any of the natural reproductive processes necessary for creating a baby by its mother and father are wrong. Replacement processes are an affront to the dignity of the mother, father or new life. Furthermore, they fail to protect all human life it generates.

Consider how the dignity of a man is stripped from him by the procedures, techniques, and preparations necessary to gather sperm. Other times the dignity of a woman is interrupted when she is used for gathering eggs or as a surrogate mother. Many times a number of fertilized eggs are sacrificed while reproductive specialists search for the more “perfect” specimen. Other times, the new life is held in a permanent frozen state awaiting the dictate of mother, father or state.

It has been argued that the goodness or evilness of an action is evident by the “fruit” that it produces. Well, eight, underweight, babies born to a single, unemployed mom gives us a glimpse of the fruit of In-vitro Fertilization. Are there any more examples? More next week.

Parenting Teens

2009-04-07T13:05:00.000-05:00

“Awake from your slumbers, arise from your sleep, a new day is dawning for all those who weep…” This song pleads with us to wake up and help usher in a new day.

A refreshing day for society will be when families won’t be accosted by evil; parents won’t feel ineffective and impotent when raising children and teens; teens won’t be driven to accept dangerous catch phrases, notions and philosophies; and spirituality will be viewed as a strength rather than a weakness.

A major network carried the story about two teens (age 13) living in Massachusetts. They were videoed having sexual relationsby a third party. The vidoegrapher shared the cell phone- generated, home-style kiddie porn video with an entire school community. Several things come to mind: where were the parents? What are they teaching their children regarding morality, sexuality, faith, and one's duty to God and their fellow man? What was the videographer thinking? How old was this person? When will the parents wake up and realize that their communication and dialogue about sexuality, morality, ethics, authentic love, self control, faith, and self discipline is vital, and it can’t be limited to “the talk" or passed off to someone else.

Recently I gave a talk about this to a group of adults and I expressed my concerned about parents for a number of reasons. Parents cannot wait for or expect that someone else should/will inform their teens about sexuality, personhood, and faith and morals. Parents must not hope that someone else will teach their children -- including teens. They cannnot rely on the Church to be the sole and primary educator of their children! They certainly must not depend on the child's grade or high schools to teach morality, ethics, authentic love, and the other areas mentioned earlier.

While schools, religious educators, clergy, can certainly support parents’ efforts, formation, and education, the parents must form, teach, instruct, love, support, and protect their children. Parents must impart the faith to their children. These efforts must take place on a personal level.

Parents must awake from their slumbers and step up to the plate; they must lead the dance that engages their teens and pre-teens.

Daughters Forever, Sons Forever is the curriculum that helps parents to exercise this duty. The curriculum offers a text, working workbooks for parents and their teens, DVDs and CDs, prayers for teens, and more. It is inexpensive and easy to implement.

Visit http://www.fortifyingfamiliesoffaith.com/ to order. Companion works will soon be ready also, including: Black and White: An Examination of God’s Moral Laws and A Book For All Seasons.

Is Conditional Love a Precursor to Limited Breastfeeding?

2009-04-07T12:53:00.000-05:00

Breastfeeding is best for baby, mother, father, family and society; I believe this with my whole being. This personal philosophy stems from personal experience, knowledge gained from research and observations, and the acceptance/acknowledgement of God’s natural laws.

Today, many parents accept the notion that breastfeeding is best for baby on some level but fail to appreciate it from its many possible angles. This limited acceptance of breastfeeding can lead to “conditional breastfeeding” rules which usually results in limited, short-term breastfeeding. One's conditional acceptance of breastfeeding will compound any problems encountered with early breastfeeding and its long term execution.

Breastfeeding is equally important for a baby with special needs. Having a baby who has difficulty breastfeeding is one of the many cases in which mothers will avoid breastfeeding "because it is too difficult". Some mothers practice conditional breastfeeding; they will only breastfeed as long as it is easy and convenient.

Sometimes people love conditionally; they resolve to love another person only as long as loving someone comes easy and is convenient. Is conditional love a precursor to limited breastfeeding? Not necessarily, however, this argument could be made in a few circumstances.

A mother’s decision to breastfeed or not, however, does not change the physical, emotional, psychological, or medical needs of her baby. Her baby will thrive best -- in every way -- by receiving mother's breast milk via breastfeeding. Even when circumstances prohibit breastfeeding due to a baby’s inadequacies, the mother should nevertheless be encouraged by providing her baby’s best start by providing pumped breast milk.

It could be argued that special needs babies actually need mother’s milk above and beyond our “normal” babies for a host of reasons. This is not the point of this posting however, since all babies thrive best given mother’s milk.

Couples need to learn early on about all of the reasons to breastfeed; furthermore, they need to be convinced that all babies are worth their unconditional love and support which is in part demonstrated by the mothers’ commitment to giving their babies the best start in life; this is accomplished in part by exclusive and continued breastfeeding.

I suggest reading The Art of Breastfeeding: Giving Babies their Best Start. This book advocates breastfeeding; it is clearly best for baby, mother, father, family, and society. This book along with several others are offered by Fortifying Families of Faith; our mission is to provide intellectual material that benefits the whole family.

Visit us online at http://www.fortifyingfamiliesoffaith.com/
Please feel free to forward this blog to any friends, family, or acquaintances. I welcome your comments.

Parents and the Pill

2009-04-06T13:16:00.000-05:00

Many parents claim they don’t know what to do or say to their teens about sexuality, yet, their actions belie their claims! Parents using these excuses are often responsible for bringing their teens into clinics for birth control pills, shots, or other contraceptive devices. Other times, they allow school based clinics or Planned Parenthood clinics to insert themselves as the parental authority in matters of sex, drugs, alcohol, or other areas of concern.

When parents either directly or indirectly let others form their teens in matters of faith, morals, or sexuality, they are giving their consent loud and clear- this communicates their own personal disinterest, fear, approval of the others' message, and more.

It seems disingenuous to claim they don’t know what to do or say as they take their teens in the doors of Planned Parenthood. It seems equally disingenuous when parents don’t resist the efforts of the school based clinics or doctors’ offices which prescribe pills, shots, or vaccinations for sexually transmitted infections. It also seems disingenuous for parents to claim they don’t know where to start when they haven’t searched for material to work with! Parents have got to stop using lame excuses while pretending not to know what is going on!

Everybody knows what is going on! Many parents have handed their responsibilities and duties over to secular, irreligious institutions which promote immoral sexual behaviors. Teens are looking for leadership, guidance, and spirituality. Pills, shots and condoms won’t give them what they are searching for. Visit http://www.fortifyingfamiliesoffaith.com/ for help connecting with your teens! Daughters Forever, Sons Forever may be just the type of curriculum you are looking for.

On a side note. Have you ever wondered why there is a high percentage of heavier teens today? Look no further than the birth control shot: Depo-Provera! This type of contraception causes an average weight gain of 11 pounds and a 3.4% increase of body fat when used for 3 or more years! Users are more likely to become obese when compared to girls who do not use hormonal birth control. Furthermore, over one fourth of girls and women who were given the shot experienced “significant and dangerous body composition changes.”

Welcome to the Fortifying Families of Faith Blog!

2009-03-12T08:50:00.000-05:00

I am excited about the launch of the new Fortifying Families of Faith Blog! Please check back regularly for updates.